In the past girls gave me IOIs but I didn't reciprocate so they lost interest.

So I started responding to IOIs with escalation but I must be doing too much because the girls always get turned off. It seems like its always either one problem or the other.

So what's the right middle ground? Any advice?

I used to have this same issue. I have found that you shouldn't escalate immediately after an IOI. You should keep doing whatever you were doing to get the IOI, and then touch her when it's socially appropriate. For example, touch her arm when you crack a joke. Or put your arm around her while negging her. If you escalate in a socially appropriate way, it will turn the tables, and make her look like the weird one for rejecting your escalation.
the sub communication is: "hey girl, I'm having fun and bringing you into my party, I'm a guy who naturally touches people while having fun. If you reject my touching, you're ruining the party and ruining the good vibe that we have going on." Obviously you don't say this, but thats what is being SUBCOMMUNICATED between you and the girl. Keep it up, and she'll get used to your touch and not even consider rejecting you anymore.

The real hard part is the kiss close. Touching is easy, but the social shield doesn't work for the k-close.

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Thank you for the advice and for answering the question. So many guys on here dance around the question without ever answering it and say a bunch of unhelpful bullshit but your answer is actually helpful and straightforward. I appreciate the help.

If you are forcing it because of responses and tips you read on here, she feels it. Don't act because you see an "ioi." Just recognize it and continue. Obviously, she liked what you were doing.

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_________________
My #1 MONEY line to pull sets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkHjnZgCP18 (0:25)

Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.

"If you are forcing it because of responses and tips you read on here, she feels it. Don't act because you see an "ioi." Just recognize it and continue. Obviously, she liked what you were doing."

Thank you man. I appreciate the help. I think you and the other answer have a little bit of overlap which makes this an easier problem to solve. I'm just going to stop reacting to IOIs but continue doing what got me them while (obvsly) increasing touch when its socially appropriate (not necessarily when I get an IOI).