Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 1:45 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
I've already introduced myself in the introducing form here's the link so I don't have to explain anymore.
howdy-vt189224.html
I'm going to use this as a "journal," so to speak, to show my progress. If you see anywhere I could improve or have advice it'll be greatly appreciated.

On this journey I've started going out more. Usually after work I'd just go home and jump on the computer and play games or do something dumb at home. I started going out probably 3-5 times a week now. This could either be a store or a nightclub on weekends. When I'm out to stores I've been trying to just talk to random people and saying hello and smiling to women. I'm not shy with other guys, just unknown women I'm extremely shy to. I go out to a restaurant every Thursday where I know there's a high chance of cute women waitresses. So far both times, I've only been trying to improve my game for 2-3 weeks, I've had two chicks. One was really cute and I talked to her for a bit. Whenever I was seated the lady that took me to my seat got my drink order for me, which at the place they never do. Whenever my waitress came up, she started to ask for my drink and stopped and stuttered halfway through once she saw my drink already was there. This caused her to freeze momentary and I made a funny remark about it and she laughed and said that's really weird the lady got my drink. The whole time I was there I felt like we had a good connection, but I didn't ask for her number because I froze up. However, I did feel like it was a huge accomplishment just for carrying a good conversation with a cute girl. The

The second time I went to the restaurant I had a decent looking chick, nothing like the first one. I tried to flirt and what not, but she seemed like she was there and just wanting to leave. I always get dessert when I'm there. I knew what I was wanting, but instead was looking through the menu and "acted" like I couldn't decide what I wanted. I asked her if she had to order what would it be. She went off on one of the desserts like it was the holy grail of desserts. It was the dessert I was going to order anyway. She said she liked it a certain way. I ordered it but didn't try it the way she liked it. I've got it before and it is usually served really small, but she made it full of random stuff like oreo's, sneakers, and a ton of ice cream. It's just a normal brownie Sunday fyi. I didn't ask for her number either, but felt like I made another huge accomplishment just doing what I did. Also while I was there, there were two other girl waitresses that were really cute. One of them looked over at me and starred for quite a while, I caught her starring and maintained eye contact for a few seconds, smiled and broke contact.

Every weekend I try to go out to clubs. I always take a few friends with me and have a good time. One of my friends is married, so he doesn't really try to pick up women. My other friend I've seen him only have one girlfriend and that's the only time I've ever seen him with a woman. The first night I talked about in the link at the top of the page. My married friend did not go the first weekend we went out. Back in college he was wildly successful with women.

The second weekend I went out we had all three of us. We went to a few places and just hung out and had a good time, smile and raise small conversations with women. Nothing big yet, just trying to get used to the scene. Probably in a month I'll start trying to get numbers. While we was there, my married friend knows all the Managers so we get in for free and the managers always come and talk to us. One of the managers is a Blonde chick. He was talking to her and introduced us to her. She shook my friends hand and when he introduced me, I made eye contact and smiled and said "It's nice to meet you." I started to extend my hand but before I got my and halfway lifted she move my arm outwards and hugged me and said "You look like you need a hug." I was completely thrown off by this. I think it was a good sign. After that she had to get back to work and left.

Later that night we went to my first strip club, I was extremely sheltered when I was younger and raised in a very religious manner. I still have the religious beliefs, well some of them now, not all of them. While we was at the strip club we just sat back at a table and watched the strippers. There was an old man next to us that probably spent his entire retirement there, seriously I lost count of how many lap dances he got, and the two hottest strippers we're all over him. During that time we just had a good time, my friends ended up pissing off pretty much any waitress, or stripper that came over. One of my friends said something about the stripper next to us and she heard and looked over, looked at my friends with a huge pissed off face and then looked at me. I just made eye contact with her, smiled real big and waved. She perked up, smiled and waved back and then continued milking the old man for money. We went to leave and my friend ordered us a round of shots before we left. One of the waitress was talking to the bartender and I overheard her saying how rude we we're to her. She pointed over to me and said except him he was fine. The bartender said something to me about it and I just told her that they we're really drunk and we was leaving. This was just this Friday.

Also at the gym where I work out at there's a few good looking chicks that workout. I try to never hit on them there. My two workout buddies, two different friends, are both way more attractive than I am and are both naturally charming and can get women every night they go out. (Except one because he's married, but he still hits on anything that walks by). I've started to hang out with them more just because of how much better they are and I can pick up on how they do it. But back to the chicks at the gym, I never have talked to the women there, because I know they just want to work out. Both my friends know everyone at the gym. The other day while I was walking in one of the better looking chicks is walking out done with her workout, and I made eye contact, smiled and said "Dang you're already done today?" she smiled back and replied back "yeah I got here a little bit earlier today." Then I ended the conversation, just with the most generic "well have a good day." and she said " you too". I could have expanded on this but didn't. Still felt like an accomplishment because she has an amazing body and I've never talked to her before.

Next weekend I really just want to stay home and relax. Since starting this, it seems to be wearing me out. Changing from a pretty much comfortable and passive life style to a uncomfortable active life style. I'll probably talk myself into going though. Any way, this seems like a huge step for me. What do ya'll think?


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 2:54 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
So last week was a bust pretty much. after work a few times I tried going out to just a grocery store, or wal-mart, and just smile and say hi. I guess without the help of some alcohol or one of my buddies I freeze up. I thought I had the courage to say something to a few cute chicks, but when I went to actually do it I ended up blank And froze. This weekend I didn't do anything. For about two months I've been doing stuff every weekend So it was a nice break. But I'll be back at it this week and this weekend I'll be going back out. I think my goal this week is to try to get over my fear of just simple talk with women, I have no problem at all talking to other guys I don't know. I know this isn't going to be achieved in just a week, but I'm going to try to go out and just talk to random women. Even if it's just a simple hello.

This weekend I might be going solo. I haven't really done any research about going out solo. I'm sure I can do it, just another step out of my comfort zone.

That's the slow, but steady update.


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 2:32 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Update #3
Lately I've just been working on more approach anxiety. Trying to improve myself more and get into more activities around town. Nothing big.

But I had a good week so far. I've always had an online dating account and I sucked at it, maybe getting 4 women out of 50 to reply back, and usually they weren't that great looking. I just started messaging a lot of random chicks to see what would work and what wouldnt. However everything I tried sucked and still didn't work. I read a book on how to master online dating, picked 4 women to email and got a reply back from 2 of them and I also got a number from 1 of them. and the two that replied back were the two better looking ones. I didn't realize how easy it was and the fear that I've had about talking to women kinda went down quite a bit. This was a huge confidence booster and I'll probably text her tomorrow. I've been debating if I should call or text. It will be 2 days since I got her number.

That's the update! Slowly but surely


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 1:59 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Text the girl today and had a good little conversation. Tried to get her to go bowling this weekend and she said she would totally go if she didn't have to work weekends. She told me that her shift changes every two weeks and the shift she's on now she has to work the next two weekends. I carried on a little conversation, sometimes she would take a while to respond back and since she took so long I tried to wait a little bit to text her back. I was running out of stuff to talk about so I ended the conversation saying I had to go back to work. I'm a manager so running to work at random times is legit. And she just replied back "Bye".... So I think it went well. If not at least I got some experience in!


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 3:40 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Alright so I've had another break through just tonight. I'm pretty excited because I just got another number.I had this chicks number before but I never tried to get with her cause I was a pussy. I got it from her from facebook. Earlier in the week she posted something about a cuddle buddy. So being the smart-ass I am I posted a picture of that "boyfriend pillow" the one with the arm, looks weird as hell and is for single women. she replied back on there saying she so needed one. I didn't reply back but today after brainstorming on my other topic
how-often-to-text-or-call-vt190191.html
It kinda clicked for me that I could use that simple smart-ass picture to get this girls Number again and if I played my cards right I might be able to get her interested. this is how my conversation went with her
me- Hey (girls name)! Did you order one of those pillows yet?
her-lol no I wish I had one though lol
me-you'd actually use one of those?
her-I really would!! Itd b cool, n a little weird but really cool lol
me-weirdo
I got a new phone a while back and I lost your number. Can I get yo number?<- you have to say that all hick like. Lmao
her-I thought u was goin more for slang!?:) but yeah, xxx-xxx-xxxx! Im slowly fallin asleep so if I dont reply thts y
me-Alright, well I'll talk to ya later
her- ok. U can text me tom. If u want

Like I said I had her number a couple of years ago. We didn't date, but looking back I do think she was interested. the only way I got her number the first time was from a friend.

So far I've got 3 rejections and 2 numbers. I think I can work on one of the rejections if I play it right. Man, I feel awesome right now! it's a small step but a huge confidence booster!


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 2:28 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Update:

So last week I got out a little bit. Tried to work on my approach. It's getting better, but still struggle with it a little bit. I've been talking to the first girl I meet online, and slowly talking to the other girl as well. Currently I'm talking to another chick online. So learning what to say to women is improving a lot!

This weekend I just went out to my married friends house and drank a few beers. There good reasons I couldn't go to a club or anywhere. While I was there he invited a girl over, and this girl was dating one of our friends, not a good friend but still wouldn't try to sleep with her. Pretty sure she has something. But I thought it would be good experience to kinda hit on her and just see how it went, and my friend said that's why he invited her over. Well for some odd reason he got drunk and text her ex and he came over. I wasn't too pissed but trying to talk to her with one of my friends and her there was really awkward. He's just naturally good with getting women. So I wasn't going to try anything with her since she was there, but I did try the "straw-man" theory that I saw on one of the forums here. And holy crap it does work. I was just messing around and building him up to be this amazing guys and she tore him down the entire time. Just that was good experience.

That's the update.


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2015 2:30 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Alright so I've been trying to get out more and work on my approach. The weather where I'm at has been crazy and has kinda slowed me down a little bit. Most women are staying indoors since the weather.

I was at the grocery store and my thing is to pick the most attractive girl working at the checkouts. Well they weren't busy and the guy that was at the next checkout was "Sir I can get you over here." Asshole. haha So I forgot something came back and went to a different chick. I've noticed a lot of the women that work there seem miserable and don't want to talk. I try to strike up just some small talk and they keep it short. So I don't know if I should continue doing this. Unless I say something like "You're not much of a talker" and go on from there.
I've also notice just tonight the waitress I had, which was good looking, was really the same way. Just short answers and left as soon as she waited on me. They weren't busy at all... I'm a pretty decent looking guy, if I had to rate myself it would be a 7. I've lost a ton of weight and I've actually put on quiet a bit of muscle. If I loose the rest of my body fat I could move up to an 8. So I don't know why all these women are so unresponsive. They don't act neutral where I could polarize them any. How would ya'll deal with this?


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2015 11:13 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
alright called a girl today just to talk to her. It went well, though it was cut short. She's an EMT so she had to end the conversation and said she'd text me later. Besides the short conversation it went well. I kinda poked fun at her she laughed, talked about her job, and I related with her about living out in the country. The phone conversation probably lasted 5 minutes before she had to go. But hell I'll take it. It wasn't that bad, at all. Once I just started talking, and from everything I've read it kinda took over and I think it went good.

I think my biggest flaws right now are communication. I think my approach is getting better, however, just like every pua and book I've read, if you think about it to much you get to nervous. Just do it. <- I've done this on a few occasions just walking by and thinking "should I say something" before I can finish thinking that I've already opened my mouth and I've said something... and it's not bad. It actually feels good, it's like a brand new world you didn't know existed. Every time I've went out beginning with this, I'd get extremely nervous, start sweating, and for some odd reason my eye's would start watering.... I've never heard of that happening, could just be my contacts being dry or something. Just seems to happen there. Now when I go out it's not bad. I'm still somewhat nervous, but nothing like I was. I don't seem to sweat anymore when I'm out. Another month or so and I think my approach will be good. Just have to start working on the communication part now.

Everything seems to be going in the right direction. I'm a lot happier then I have been in the last 6 years. and what's sad is I've got more numbers, which is just 3, in the last month then I have in 6 years.... So it's definitely a huge improvement.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2015 8:57 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Salute man!

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun May 17, 2015 5:48 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:58 am
Posts: 130
Quote:
So I don't know why all these women are so unresponsive. They don't act neutral where I could polarize them any. How would ya'll deal with this?
That's just to be expected I think. Not everyone has the inclination to socialize with customers at work, even when it's not too busy.


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 9:19 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Alright so this week hasnt been too productive. I fell I'll and haven't got around much. Sunday the girl that was supposed to come hang out bailed. Which isn't a deal, there's more women out there. I might text or call her today and see what I can work on. I might have to let her go. The other girl, to my suprise, seems more polarized then I thought. She's wanting to get us tickets to go to a baseball game. Kinda cool, I don't really like baseball though. That's the update on these couple of girls.
My rejection list is building up fast. But it's all good I'm getting good experience.

Since I'm ill I went out to the store to buy me some soup. There was a cute blonde chick at the register. Didn't say anything just started checking me out. I started a conversation, asked how she was doing and she perked up. She asked how I was doing and usually I'd have the lame "I'm good" but instead I said I've been better. It lead to a little conversation. But she was smiling and seemed to have some iois. Or she was wanting the sick person to leave, lol. But It kinda showed me throwing away the normal conversation to say something other then I'm doing good. It opens more up for a better conversation.
At the end she said she hoped I got to feeling better. Not much but more than what I would normally do

That's the update


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 9:27 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Awesome.

The man that I knew who got the most women told me this when I asked what his secret was.. " i've been with thousands of women in my life and not once did any of them know that I was worried or know that I had problems of any kind".

A woman is looking for someone in fit condition for her to lean on. Showing signs that you're not fit for it will not have a positive effect on attraction generation.

So while " i've been better" is better than " i'm good" for the purpose of quantity of conversation. " this is the best i've been" is the opposite of that and it adds to attraction generation.

Salute to some level of consistency though.

Peace & Love

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 11:12 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Quote:
A woman is looking for someone in fit condition for her to lean on. Showing signs that you're not fit for it will not have a positive effect on attraction generation.

So while " i've been better" is better than " i'm good" for the purpose of quantity of conversation. " this is the best i've been" is the opposite of that and it adds to attraction generation.
Good point, I'll have to remember that.
When I first jumped into this I kind of had the Idea that it wouldn't take that long to master all this. And I was way wrong. I kind of had the impression that I would be able to get a woman a lot faster than what I was. But now I see it's more about understanding and building yourself up to be a better person and THEN attracting women.

Starting out I was going out a lot and wasn't really doing anything. Not really approaching, everything I have posted though did happen, but as many times as I went out there should be pages to this thread on my updates. So I threw myself out there with huge goals that really wasn't feasible at the time due to the fact that I wasn't confident in myself to carry out what I needed to do. So I've slowed down a bit and tried to build myself up and learn to be more confident in myself. I've told a few people, at work I'm the most cocky and overconfident guy you'd ever meet. I told my secretary that I was reading self help books to help me pick up women and she said " I wouldn't think you would have a problem getting women the way you act here." I just have to get comfortable in doing that outside of work. And the main reason I restrained myself from acting that way in public is because I was (and still kind of am) worried about what everyone else thought. I'm learning though to bring that confidence out in public and it's starting to show.

On what you said though Eddie I understand that totally. Showing any kind of weakness is a no-go . It was a spur of the moment deal to just start a conversation with a woman. The fact that she wasn't saying anything at all, and I started the conversation helped me a little bit. Now in the future I know not to use that line and use your line instead. I was just excited she actually talked to me. I was going on a spell where I'd get like 3 words from a chick and that was it. Thanks for the advice!


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 2:08 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Alright not to much to go on. Still haven't been able to go out. One due to me being somewhat ill still and because of weather conditions. I did go out with some co-workers, but they were already drunk and I didn't hang out to much with them. I'm running into an issue. The town I live in there's really not a lot of good looking women at the bars at night. While I was with my co-workers the guy to girl ratio is literally 9:1... and most the girls aren't that great looking. I've went out multiple times here and the only time that there are anymore women is when a band or something is at the bar (which is very rare). Other than that it's dead. I usually have to go to a bigger town/City. This get's pretty costly, due to drinks and getting a hotel room.

Other than that, I'm no longer talking to any of the women I mention in earlier post. So back to square one. I'm thinking of getting rid of my online dating account. I find myself falling back on it as an excuse to not go out and actually meet women.

I'm on medicine at the moment, once I get off it I will probably resume going out to bars/clubs and working there. I'm going to try to go out every other day this week and try to talk to at least 5-10 people where ever I go. I need to work on approaching at bars and building attraction (where ever I'm at). Next week I might try to go to a bar every night in the town I'm in to see what nights are the better nights to go out.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 7:57 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:58 am
Posts: 69
Location: THIS IS SPARTA!
Alright so this week was a pretty shitty week. I probably only did probably 3-5 approaches. Previous weeks I've done at least a max of 9.

The past few weeks we've had tornado's (and floods) and I've ran into a little financial problems so I didn't go out as much. I kinda took the week since it was slow to try to reflect on bad habits that I've formed and how to address those habits. So the week was not all lost.

A few weeks ago I got severely depressed. I have had friends since college that we always hung out and drank all the time, but I got to thinking the only time we hung out was when I put in the effort. I've went without calling or texting them and I haven't heard anything from them. Until last night they sent me snap chats of all them and a few out of friends that came over. Thanks for the invite dicks. On this though I realized hanging out with these guys was seriously crippling my life. All we would do is stay at their place and play beer pong or other drinking games. Usually just 3 or 4 of us, all dudes. So I've decided to just quit hanging out with them. If they're content with doing that, then they can keep doing that, I'm out. So all my friends that I had are now gone and I have to start pretty much over. Hopefully finding better people to call friends and that will help me grow. It pissed me off and that's what led to the depression.

Another thing led to the depression too. Thinking that this would be a "faster" process and I would be improving faster than what I am currently. So I've told myself that this isn't going to be a fast process and to give it time. My goal is to get laid before my 27th birthday.

Back on the bad habits, I think I found a few of the Major ones that I'm going to address and correct. I think that once I correct them and replace them with good habits I'll be a lot happier.
I'm just going to list what I think are to top 5

#5 Research... I've been reading on this forum, and from books as well, that doing to much will hurt you more than helping. I've noticed myself going on here and reading books so much that I'm losing time that I could be using to improve myself. My goal for this? Stop researching and go out. Simple as that.

#4 I was extremely sheltered... Growing up I literally did not know what sex was till I was 16, I'm not shitting you. I don't know if this would impact my natural growing, but I believe it might of somewhat. If not knowing what sex was it was definitely crippling to my social interactions. When I went to college I started drinking and it opened me up a lot. I was extremely shy in high school. How to fix this? . Dwelling on the past will do nothing, learn from it and move on. I could blame my parents for this, however it isn't their fault I didn't do anything to change myself. (I'm going to throw video games to this one too. I find it taking up way to much time and I could be out doing something. I have improved on this greatly already, used to that's all I would do.)

#3 False Confidence... I've noticed my girlfriends (all two of them) that I had in the past was attracted to my false confidence. At the time I had no Idea until reading about PUA. I was somewhat success full with this, but once the women learn who you really are, they lose all interest and leave you. How to fix this? obviously, work on myself and work on true confidence.

#2 Being a Nice guy (or AFC)... This kind of goes with #3 I believe. I've noticed that it's not my fault, it's fucking yours, and you need take responsibility. Yep, that was my mentality. I've took some of the responsibility over the years ONLY if I couldn't blame it on someone else. I was a pretty damn good liar and could convince anyone that it wasn't my fault. Also I've always done the I give you a dollar, you fucking better give me my dollar back. I always gave with the intent of getting something back. looking back on my past relationship I did this a TON. Also being a nice guy, I was needy and invested more in the woman than my own happiness. How to fix this? Take responsibility for my actions, give without the expectation of receiving something in return, quit being needy and don't get over invested.

#1 Masturbation... I put this as number 1 for a ton of reasons. Because of my bad habit #5 I did a lot of reading and thinking on this. Once I did learn about sex, I instantly started masturbating. In high school I shit you not I did it probably 5 times a day MINIMUM. I've been doing it every since, having stopping periods of just a week or 2 weeks max and this has only happened a handful of times. I know there's a huge controversy over this and I do believe it is a HUGE contributing factor to why I fail. My last girlfriend I had I started dating her during one of my off periods. Once we started dating I resumed masturbating and she left (on this though it wasn't JUST because of masturbating, a lot of it has to do with #2). I did see the pattern and I've even noticed on some of my off weeks that people react differently to me. How to fix this? I have a old smart phone that stores all my porn... I've wanted to smash it to pieces and throw it away. So that's probably one way to fix it. If I feel the urge to do it, find something else to do. Run, walk the dogs, even play video games. I don't care as long as I don't do it. Have the will power to say no to it.

That's what I think are my top 5. I have another one but I believe it could go with #3 False confidence. It is "Going out Alone." However on this I have been going out to restaurants by myself now, I just haven't worked up the confidence to go to a club or bar by myself. Work on confidence and go out and have fun, even if I don't have anyone to go with and make new friends.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 23 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link