So to make a long story short there's this girl I've been after since high school freshman year. This girl is pretty much everything I want in a woman and haven't found another since. in the time we talked I put myself into the friends zone but was able to get out. BUT I didn't want to spend my time waiting around for her so I dated another girl and we stopped talking. It's been 4 years since we talked and I'm not comfortable with myself. I think if I tried to reconnect she'd give me a chance (I told a mutual friend to tell her I'm still down for a date and he said she started blushing and smiling real hard.). But the thing is I'm not in a place I want to be. I'm worse than I was in high school.

I want a serious relationship with this girl because she's one of a kind but I want to be a man I'm proud to be first.

So one thing I try to keep in mind when talking to girls is that they're just for practice. To help me become the guy I want to be and the guy I think she deserves. It helps me be a little more at ease.

Is this good or bad? Is this healthy?
Should I just stop wasting time and go for the real goal or is it best to bring myself to a level I'm confident with first?

If you wait, someone else will probably scoop her up. Better to give her the "you" you are now than for her to never experience you at all.

On the other hand, you could wait. But again the chances she'll be available when you feel you're 'just right' are probably slim.
It is very good. You need this practice in order to maintain a laid back attitude with the girl you want.
You have developed one-itus.

You are definitely on the right track if you can ask that question. The image you have of the girl might be different from reality if you haven't seen her for 4 years, especially if you are both in your early 20-s. Personality shifts can be huge at this age, it seems like something you are trying to accomplish with yourself. Who is that man and what do you lack at the moment? Maybe you lack something at the moment but you don't need to be Gatsby to get your Daisy.