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WHAT?! Im sorry but neither have I ever heard of that nor is this going to happen! In my opinion you just have to grow together as a couple first. Before even moving together! You dont marry someone after 1 year! After 2 years of being together you can think about moving together and after 4-5 years think about getting married. Thats how I see it.
And that would still be in her "timeplan" by the way so I dont see why you should rush....
I have cohabitated with my exes in different timelines. With my first relationship we were cohabitating almost since day one because we were housemates. I have also cohabitated after 3 years and I have also cohabitated after 4 months. It made no difference. Tbh I'd rather if I didn't cohabitated.
As an older person now I would avoid it until marriage because I can't be bothered changing houses if the relationship breaks. So I go for stability. Very few women will wait 4-5 years until you propose. Unless the woman is in her very early 20s when you met her she won't wait that long.
Take as an example myself. I am 32 and I want to find a husband. If I wait 4-5 years until he proposes I will be 37. That's too late to have kids. If I was 20 then to wait until 24-25 that would be alright but I still wouldn't be that happy because if the relationship wouldn't succeed I would be 25 starting over from the beginning.
So my cut off point is a year. If after a year I don't see any signs of commitment I break up and move to the next guy. I have the margin now to make one more decision. If it fails I will seriously consider becoming a single mum. That's it. I don't need a wedding anymore. It will be more hussle to have a man living with me rather than me being single.
Do you see my point?
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Wait wait wait....Just to make things clear and tell you a bit more of the backstory: SHE does NOT have her finances sorted out! We both work at the same company (not at the same branch office though) and in this company it is usual to give the employees a 1 year limited contract after you finished your professional training. And this contract can be extended 2 times. So you never know if they are going to keep you or if they sign you off. BUT when they extended your contract 2 times they have to give you a permanent contract. So both of us have a limited contract and all I was saying is that we should wait until both of us get a permanent contract so we can be sure we can actually pay the bills long term! Thats a valid and mature reason and way of thinking I guess!!
yes from a point of view that is a very mature thinking. However, you never have 100% stability in your life.
A compromise would had been you propose to her but you set the date for when you two have settled with work. She will accept this. But 4-5 years is way too long..
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Thats pretty rude imo. Thats basically forcing your lover to do something and further more ignoring HIS dreams and plans for life just to make you happy as a woman. Sorry but Im sure nobody would do that!
Nobody is forcing no one. He is free to follow his dreams with another woman. I am also free to want to settle down. If it is not him then it will be someone else.
Believe me I wasted 4 and a half years in a relationship that didn't lead to marriage. The guy was telling me to wait a bit more because he wanted to accomplish some things in life before he settles down. 7 years after the break up and while he was in his mid 30s he still couldn't see himself married to someone.
Do you think that I made the right decision waiting for him 4 and a half years?
I minimized my chances to get married. If women had to wait so long before getting married means that they would have had 4 chances before they give up. That's if she could find one guy after the other that want to settle down.
Who is forcing who to give up their dreams?