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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 9:14 pm 
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Hello, everyone. I am new in this forum and it`s a great stuff here. So this is my first post and it is very important for me to get things right.

I started going to some dance classes in my town few weeks ago. Actually i have danced some kind of dances before with girls, but not this type of dance that i`m doing now. So I actually have some plus that i know how to dance with a girl a little, but haven`t practiced it much. So she may feel a little bit comfortable dancing with me than others, because I have such experience, but I`m not the best dancer either.

Lesson 1:
As I went to the dance classes, I sat down and waited when it will start. Then my crush (a good 8) came in with another girl and sat next to me (ok, there were not plenty of free places to sit, but she could sit somewhere else too instead of choosing place next to me). So she sat there while talked to the other girl, and somehow touched her hair all the time with her hand. After some minutes I noticed that she somehow accidently was very close to me and somehow touched me with her hand for a second, but that`s all.

To be honest, I`m very very shy therefore I didn`t respond to her on that moment, just sat there with my cell phone in my hand till the dance class started. On the first dance lesson everybody was concentrated on the basic dance steps, very shy on the dance floor. And then we had to ask girl for a dance, she wasn`t close to me at that time, so I have to dance with another girl. But then the teacher somehow wanted that everybody dance with everybody, so we changed partners every 5 or so minutes. And I danced a little bit with her, but that day I didn`t talk to her anything at all or so.

Lesson 2:
Somehow managed to ask right her for the dance. Bingo!!! Again, didn`t say much. I just smiled, said hi, looked into her eyes, danced some time with her while we learned some steps, then we had to change partners. But at that moment I think every girl liked to dance with me, because I had danced before in comparison with other. I bet she liked to dance with me, so she smiled and looked pretty happy that I know how to lead her.

Lesson 3:
I was late, so didn`t managed to ask her for the dance. And when changed partners somehow didn`t maage to dance with her. So no contact with her on that lesson at all.

Lesson 4:
I tried to stay close to her so I can manage to ask her for the dance. I did it!! This time I started a longer conversation. Asked, how she`s doing. If she liked the dance classes etc.. Has she ever danced some kind of dances before... She asked the same thing about me, then I made some neutral joke and she smiled. And she smiled pretty much when we danced. ;) The thing is, she looks down all the time when dancing and some moments looks up and I think that`s the short moment when she checks me. So, what do you think? Is she so much attracted and shy and therefore she looks down all the time? Is it really good for me? Plus, she had changed her hairstyle, but I didn`t compliment her because some other forums suggested me not to be too quick in saying what I think about her (not to be too pushy etc.) and better be just friendly - now i feel this is wrong

Lesson 5:
Planned to go straight to her before dance class and compliment her about something and then dance with her and start kino, but she didn`t come that time. So I was a bit sad :(

Lesson 6:

My crush has changed her hairstyle back and comes with her friend (girl) again. I sit somewhere. They come there, sit somewhere, then they just stand up and goes to some restroom or etc (I personally think she had told her friend that she likes me and asked for her opinion on me or advice to somehow help her dress sexier or different for me or what and went to restroom both to correct make-up or sth to look perfect).

And then comes the SHAME ON me part and I want to kill myself for being so stupid. I don`t know why, but at that day I invited some other girl to dance with me although my crush was standing only 2,5 metres from me, but the girl I invited was a bit closer and therefore my crush was left with no dance partner at first (because girls were more than guys this time). Then we rotated and I danced with her, but only a very short time. Her hands were somehow not moving (i think she was veeery stressed at that moment and YES -me either). I couldn`t talk therefore, I just asked her: Do you know how to do these turns etc, because You weren`t last time. Then she somehow smiled and said something like i try to learn or sth. And after this short question her hands immediately became comfortable - I noticed. But I noticed that she wore some skirt (it was the first time I saw her wearing skirt, because before this she only wore jeans) and she had her lips painted red (looked excellent), but I didn`t compliment her (DAMN, i`m so stupid), because I was under great-pressure, because of her friend close and because of me being surprised how good she looked. Then the lesson ended and a teacher let to film her dancing so we can learn the new moves at home too. While filming I went close to her and filmed being 1.5 metres from her and filmed also her. And then at home I watch the video and see that she is tilting her head by at least 45 degrees (OMG so noticeable, but I did notice this only at home) so that I can see her neck. I stood by her left side and she tilted her head to the right. Is this a real sign that I should escalate with her? And then she giggled while filmed about something with her friend, I bet to get my attention? And her purse is close to me while filming.

Then the lesson ended and they left, when she went past me she did it with head down and by the door I saw her face shortly and it was somehow cold and sad :(

And yet there was that Valentine`s day shit all around town, I`m afraid that the next lesson the window will be closed, but I plan to ask her out next time. But I hope she would not close the window so fast.

Do you think if I ask her to some dance evening (happens here every weekend) with me saying that I want to improve my dancing skills, will she reject?

And if the window is already closed and I ask her out, what should I say her afterwards not to show her I am a jerk? Should I say: "OO. I thought you`d want to go. OK, then. That`s fine, I will ask some other girl. I am sure they will want to go with me." And make her jealous.

Or, should I show her that I`m somehow feeling disappointed about her decision and say "Hmm, interesting answer, I was pretty sure you was the girl that would want. I think I have not understand your signals correctly" so that she feels I`m feeling bad about this??


And if she says 'yes' to me then I plan to ask her number and call her before the weekend.

If she rejects, then should I ask her to give her number and say: "I want You to think again about my invitation. Please, give me your number, so I can contact You and find out if you changed your mind shortly before weekend" Maybe then she goes home, talks with her best friend and she says that she has nothing to lose and that she should try to go with me. Or better not to ask for her number, if she refused at first so that i dont l desperate and lose any chances with her opening the window(remember, she is shy girl)???

What other suggestions: How can I open the window??? Or what should I do the next time?


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 9:44 pm 
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Please help me, she`s really a GF material. Good education, intelligent, beautiful. We are both 18 and I am pretty unexperienced with girls, but therefore I`m here to learn from You guys ;)


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:02 pm 
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Hi and welcome!

The reason you aren't seeing replies is probably because your post is way too long.

Very few users will read this - it doesn't need to be this detailed...

Create a condensed version and put it at the bottom of the post... You'll get more responses.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:39 pm 
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Ok, here goes the short version:
I started goint to some dance classes. There is a beautiful girl right there. I feel that she signalled me every dance lesson somehow and the last time it was very obvious head tilting (more than 45 degrees), giggling etc..
Didn`t respond to her signals for me, but showed interest in her by inviting her many times as my partner in these dance classes and made some conversation about her dancing experience. But last time I saw that she was a bit colder and now happened all this Valentine`s day stuff around 

Do you think if I ask her to some dance evening (happens here every weekend) with me saying that I want to improve my dancing skills, will she reject considering the attraction window is closing or closed?

And if the window is already closed and I ask her out, what should I say her afterwards not to show her I am a jerk? Should I say: "OO. I thought you`d want to go. OK, then. That`s fine, I will ask some other girl. I am sure they will want to go with me." And make her jealous.

Or, should I show her that I`m somehow feeling disappointed about her decision and say "Hmm, interesting answer, I was pretty sure you was the girl that would want. I think I have not understand your signals correctly" so that she feels I`m feeling bad about this??

And if she says 'yes' to me then I plan to ask her number and call her before the weekend.

If she rejects, then should I ask her to give her number and say: "I want You to think again about my invitation. Please, give me your number, so I can contact You and find out if you changed your mind shortly before weekend" Maybe then she goes home, talks with her best friend and she says that she has nothing to lose and that she should try to go with me. Or better not to ask for her number, if she refused at first so that i dont l desperate and lose any chances with her opening the window(remember, she is shy girl)???

What other suggestions: How can I open the window??? Or what should I do the next time?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:48 pm 
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Anyone please? I have not a lot time, because soon I will meet her & I should know what to do. Please help me, pick up artists i`m young guy with little experience, but I want to learn :)


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 1:21 pm 
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Quote:
Do you think if I ask her to some dance evening (happens here every weekend) with me saying that I want to improve my dancing skills, will she reject considering the attraction window is closing or closed?

And if the window is already closed and I ask her out, what should I say her afterwards not to show her I am a jerk? Should I say: "OO. I thought you`d want to go. OK, then. That`s fine, I will ask some other girl. I am sure they will want to go with me." And make her jealous.

Or, should I show her that I`m somehow feeling disappointed about her decision and say "Hmm, interesting answer, I was pretty sure you was the girl that would want. I think I have not understand your signals correctly" so that she feels I`m feeling bad about this??
You haven't even talked to this girl... from what I can tell, anyway. Why do you think the "attraction window" is closed? I don't even know if it was ever open from what you've written - a 45 degree head tilt is your IOI?

Regardless, just assume she's interested and start talking to her. You don't have to ask her to dance... just talk to her.
Quote:
If she rejects, then should I ask her to give her number and say: "I want You to think again about my invitation. Please, give me your number, so I can contact You and find out if you changed your mind shortly before weekend" Maybe then she goes home, talks with her best friend and she says that she has nothing to lose and that she should try to go with me. Or better not to ask for her number, if she refused at first so that i dont l desperate and lose any chances with her opening the window(remember, she is shy girl)???
That's horrible, man. Don't say that.

Start with talking to her. You're way too in your head. You have contingencies for your contingencies...


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:15 pm 
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Hmm, we talked a bit while dancing: I asked her what kind of dances has she danced and she asked me the same and some other neutral stuff :)

I just plan to compliment her about sth next time while having a convo, then offer her to go with me to some dance evening in our city to practice more dancing.

If she rejects me.
Should I say: "OO. I thought you`d want to go. OK, then. That`s fine, I will ask some other girl. I am sure they will want to go with me." And make her jealous.

Or, should I show her that I`m somehow feeling disappointed about her decision and say "Hmm, interesting answer, I was pretty sure you was the girl that would want. I think I have not understand your signals correctly" so that she feels I`m feeling bad about this??


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:21 pm 
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Quote:
If she rejects me.
Should I say: "OO. I thought you`d want to go. OK, then. That`s fine, I will ask some other girl. I am sure they will want to go with me." And make her jealous.

Or, should I show her that I`m somehow feeling disappointed about her decision and say "Hmm, interesting answer, I was pretty sure you was the girl that would want. I think I have not understand your signals correctly" so that she feels I`m feeling bad about this??
Did you read what I wrote? Why do you need a contingency plan? I don't get it...

When you ask her out, just don't do it in a way you can get rejected... Something like "Hey, I'm going to X place after work on X day. You should come"... and if she's busy then you say "We should still hang out sometime, why don't you give me your number".

And if she says no -- then guess what! WHO CARES! You move onto the next girl. End of story.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:21 am 
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Quote:
Hello, everyone. I am new in this forum and it`s a great stuff here. So this is my first post and it is very important for me to get things right.
You've actually outlined your entire problem in your first sentence.

"It's very important for me to get things right the first time"

Very simply put, you are living in ATTACHMENT and SCARCITY.

You've put this immense pressure that things have to work out with this girl.

Dude, relax. The majority of "dates" or "meets" with women don't work out. You're getting all worked
out because the girl smiled at you couple of times and tilted her head more than 45 degrees angle.

Huh.

Instead of thinking how you can make things right with this girl, go out and create ABUNDANCE of
women for yourself
by meeting new women on a regular basis.

If you don't know how, work on yourself and LEARN. You've got brains, you can figure it out.

This mentality that you're in right now is leading you nowhere.

So if you want to make it with this girl, do this:

1) LET HER GO in your mind and be OK with you two not hooking up. Stop
daydreaming about how she will be your girlfriend.

2) GO OUT and meet new women, so you create a different mentality for yourself, which is not
based in "This is the only pretty girl I know and will ever get" but more in "There are plenty
of new women out there, and I have the ability to meet them"

3) LEARN what you need to learn to be good at meeting new women.

If you're scared of approaching women, work on that. If you don't know how to make the conversation
happen, then work on that. The main this is, work on yourself, and soon women will want to be with
you just for who you are.

Hope this helps,

_________________
Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:48 am 
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Well, maybe invite her over to "practice" your dancing skills, the important part is not to sound needy. Pretty much make it seem as if you´re uninterested (your main goal being getting better at dancing). However it seems to me that you havent talked to this girl enough. maybe isolate her after lessons, try to talk about her personal life.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 1:07 am 
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Hey, thank You. You are inspiring me and, in my opinion, giving me right piece of advice how to be a man with a value.

I think that You would like to know, how all continued. And I think I did it like a real man, LOL.
Actually, I recently did all the things You said, but to be honest with you I did this before reading last 2 answers: I went with other girls somewhere, but also invited that girl for "practice" (I sounded needy - I know, but that`s my fault). So she refused, but I don`t care. Then next time she looked confused, went a bit red in her face (again shy? wtf?) and asked If I were to that party and sth like that. It seemed that now she wants to go, but if so, I think that she has to ask me this time. Never mind, she has to regret that she said 'No' to me, because I had a great time and also learned a lot new moves on the dance floor and improved my dancing skills very much while she sat at home.

Nevertheless, I am interested to find out the main question: How to open the attraction window when closed (not in this case, but in general).


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