Hi guys,

I'll get straigh to the point.

I'm a 32 yr old guy from Ireland. I had great game in my early 20's, not bad game game mid 20's but totally out of touch the last couple of years.

With work, haven't had time to properly date this last year or so. Before Christmas I met this girl on Facebook through a mutual group page we were in.

Here's the kicker - she lives in NYC! Hold on... I'm not crazy, I actually was thinking about going to NYC this summer for a holiday.

She's 32 too and is seeking a bf/husband. I started messaging her and we went back and forth. She gave me her number and we started to SPAM.

From there, we were literally talking for hours, 3/4 hours at a time. Everything under the sun, deep and meaningfuls to personal and work stuff. Anything, really.

The problem is... I came on too strong. I started 'liking' whatever crap she put up on FB. I'd text her out of the blue asking her what she was up to. I then suggested sending her something for Valentine's Day.

All this started changing things. She started to not text or Facebook me at all. I was always the one to text and she'd say "sorry, forgot to text back".

Now, I'm 32, I've been around the block and know I played this badly... and certainly know it's madness having a relationship with your phone, but initially she was extremely eager. The distance thing was irrelevant because she suggested it'd be nice to meet in reality and go for dinner etc...

There's plenty of beautiful girls here, and it's not a case of wanting what I can't have. I'll admit though, it has verged on One-Itis... I did have that problem once before and the relationship I was in ended because of it.

Anyway, if you guys came cut me a break about the long distance thing and potentially building this girl up in my head... I'd really appreciate some genuine advice as to how to get her back on side and really get her anxious to meet. I don't want advice as "forget her" she lives too far away... I know all that is true, but I want to at least meet her and she if there's a connection.

Ignore her? No text? Act the big shot with statuses on Facebook?

There has to be a way, there's always a way...

PS She is absolutely stunning... literally a 10 in anyones book but not a typical 10. She's more a girl-next-door type of person.

Thanks in advance!

Ok you seem like a pretty cool dude. You have experience in game so that is a plus. And you've met someone you like. That's awesome! So let's look at what we got:
Can you tell me what all of these things have in common?
You were being very needy. And what happened? Your last relationship ended because of that. And now this one might not even start because of it. I'm not trying to come off as a d*ck. but that is the cold hard truth.

Now, I want you to just visualize for a second that you are in Heaven - bare with me.. - and you got everything you could possibly want. Women, money, chicks to suck your d*ck at your command. You got it all at the snap of your finger. But after a while... well... wouldn't you... get bored of that?

So how do you think this girl you are talking to feels? You've liked all her facebook statuses, you're texting her all the time, she's getting it all from you man! Don't you think she might be well... Getting a bit bored? There is no chase.

You can change all this but you have to work on yourself, your inner game. One very important thing you have to do is, you have to learn to not care. Not care if she or any girl, doesn't reply. Not care what you say -you want to keep your thoughts words and actions aligned- and say what you think. Whatever the first thing that you think you should say, say it. It gives the girl a change to experience the real you.

It's like when you step on a lego in the middle of the night. Some people just don't say anything, but they are saying "Aw f*ck" in their heads. Other people however just say "Aw f*ck" because they have their thoughts words and actions aligned. You want to be like that! The sooner that you do not care, the sooner you will rid yourself from that "I am needy" mentality. This sadly doesn't happen over night.

My best advice to you, other than what I have already said is to keep her off your mind the best you can for as long as you can. If you have sent her one text. Do not send another one until she replys. Also start talking to other people. It will help you get out of that Oneitis Mindset. Last I just want to say I think you should purchase the book Models by Mark Manson. It has a lot of info on how to develop your inner game. And I think it is something you really should take a look at.

_________________
---Red's Journal
Motivation Mindset="If I can do it, it can be done"
No Fap Mindset="If I fap, I will turn into a god damn retard"

This was sad to read, dude. I actually do sympathize with you - but I'm going to give you some tough love here:

You're self-professed as experienced, yet you're acting like every other first-time poster here who wants to either steal another guy's girlfriend or get a girl who has no interest in him.

In your case, it's the latter mixed with 3000 miles of distance between you.

You have LITERALLY asked for only the advice you want to hear... Which isn't going to help you... Because it'll be wrong.

The following advice is right (take it or leave it... and I'm fairly sure which of those you're going to do):

Dating this girl is obviously not practical. You don't even know her. What if she smells? Or has an STD you don't feel like dealing with? Or is a complete raging psychopath? Or what if her voice sounds like she's been sucking on a helium balloon? or what if she completely blows in bed? Or a thousand other things...

The fact you're willing to disregard all that logic, and then effectively say that you're a pro, and you know all this is wrong, but hey - she's amazing... just the best, and a total 10. There's no girl like her on earth and she's just so very special.

That's horse shit. No offense. Get a grip.

SHE'S NOT SPECIAL. It's called power of the pussy.

She's back-burnered your ass without even meeting you... And I don't think you've realized that.

I truly do apologize if you find this harsh and -- believe me -- I'm seriously only trying to help... There's no point in sugar coating this and getting your hopes up.

Good luck to you.

RedRover,

Thanks for the advice and comments. Indeed yourself and CharlesFinlay are right to a degree. I'm openly out of the game for a couple of years.

I know I need to get out there and mix it up again, but whether it is a bad case of OneItis or the fact that she's different is irrelevant.

I know I asked for a way to "get this girl", but I suppose I am just wondering IS there a way. I'll do the no contact and move on thing for myself, but hypothetically, I am wondering if I didn't do the obviously right thing (move on) etc - is there a way to actually turn the tables and get this girl to virtually chase me?

Somebody knows how to do this. Be it create jealousy, completely disappear etc - as a pure exercise, I'd love to try it.

Of course I'd meet her if possible but I'm not going to think that way anymore. I will move on, I'd just like to see if it was possible or can anyone create attraction from the point I'm at.

Thanks again,
James