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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:28 pm 
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This is so basic I am ashamed of asking it. But I will anyway because I fuck things up here.

So here we go:
My usual issues are how to go from interest to meet again. I described them here:
moving-from-interest-to-meeting-again-vt186921.html

Then recently I went to dance and met a girl. And we had attraction, but did not ask her out nor did I ask her number. You can read myself whining about it here:
moving-from-interest-to-meeting-again-vt186921.html

And then I met her again. I was just walking through the street and I see this amazingly beautiful women (ok, she is probably "just" an 8 in objective standards, but I like her a lot) waving at me. I obviously turn around wondering who is she waving to. It's not lack of self esteem, I am in this town from less than a week. The probability she was waving at me are quite thin. But not zero, in fact...
she came toward me and say: " no you, don't you remember we danced together some days ago?".
Hmm (I actually went to dance even yesterday but she is much nicer than the girl I met yesterday, and way more friendly). Then it clicked: Oh yes, you are [her name].
Yes
so we chat a bit. And then just before she was about to leave I asked her:
it would be nice to meet up again. But not just at the dance class. Maybe we could take something and discuss about [common interest].
-Sure I will give you my phone number
Me in panic, I am terrible in phone game. Totally forgetting there is something called whattsup
-give me your email address. My phone is not from this country and we would spend a lot.
-[gives the email address]
-ok, I send you an email straighaway so you have mine too.


Later I send her an email inviting her for tomorrow, thursday, to take tea and cake in the late afternoon and speak about what we said above. Saying that I was going away for the weekend [true]. I know, very english :-).

Her answer.

Tea and cake would be great, but tomorrow is my busy day. Let's meet after you come back from your trip.

And now I am stuck and I really need help. Because I come back on sunday evening. On monday evening there is the dance class. So if I don't do anything we will meet at the dance class. But somehow it would give extra brownie points if we could meet some other places, so I wasn't just her friend from dance. Here are my options I see and the problems I see coming

We can meet before, eat something so we want be starving like last time, and then walk to the dance class together.
[problem: last time she said she was rushing to the class, so she is probably busy before. Collecting no is not a good strategy]

We can meet at the dance class and then have dinner together. I know a very good place with ytaditional food from here where I would like to go. But I am also open to other options.
[this is the most ambitious. But too heavy. Sound like a Date -which in fact totally is-]

We can meet up at the dance class and there we decide when and where to meet again
[I don't like this. Minimum I stumble on the logistic, plus I don't like taking those decisions in the class [what if someone invites itself], plus again I am the friend from dance]

If I suggest a time and place she can be busy again (maybe she really is!).

So a better option would be:
"sure when would it fit you"
[simple elegant, but she can answer: let's decide on monday].

And an even better is:
"Sure, let's decide after my trip when to meet again".

This I like, is a bit of a push. Then on sunday I could fire her an email with:

wow the trip was wonderful, you should have seen the festival, So have you thought when would it fit you to meet up? I am free on ... or also ...

What do you think? What would you write?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:41 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm
Posts: 3427
Location: Toronto, Canada
Well at least you aren't over thinking a simple date request...

Just see her Monday. Anything else looks desperate and like you have nothing better to do with your time... Simply ask if she wants to grab a coffee beforehand and you can tell her about your trip.

This post looks completely obsessive, man. You can't plan every detail... And you don't even appear to be having fun with this - too many scenarios you're anticipating!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:55 pm 
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Posts: 16
ok, I'll do that.
The reason why I am so obsessive is that I only stay in town few weeks (2+2) and one week has just passed.

Let's be clear, I am desperate. Being 40 and single doesn't help. But let's try not to show it too much :-)


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