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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:44 am 
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Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:14 pm
Posts: 123
I am fairly successful in getting girls numbers online. Can usually get them in 1-3 messages, sometimes more. But my problem is the excessive texting before that first meetup if there even is one. I do not want to be some woman's text buddy. I actually hate texting and wish it never existed although it is convenient for communicating with someone you already know well. I want to get straight from the online to a first date meaning conversation over drinks and I try to do this quickly in texting but a lot of these girls say they're busy or have a lot of stuff going on. Which is that's the case is cool, but I don't feel like being someone's text buddy for a week and a half before we can actually meet up. I've already written off dinner dates as they're a giant waste of money as I refuse to invest in someone unless it's actually headed somewhere. I really don't like wasting time in my life sending stupid messages to someone I may never have anything with. Advice?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:07 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2014 1:11 pm
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I have the same problem! Especially if the date is scheduled 2-3 days in advance. I've noticed that texting seems to be effortless for women, but for me it is a pita. I tend to get stuck in "dancing monkey" mode trying to entertain them before 1st meetup. I should probably just try saying hey I'm busy so ttyl, etc, maybe lose more dates to flaking idk? Might be of benefit though...setting boundaries, etc. and maybe the saved time would be worth it?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 5:00 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:16 pm
Posts: 1166
You will run into this a lot with online dating. It's inevitable. You worry about not texting and building enough comfort before the date she will flake, but at the same time if you text excessively, you run the chance of being too eager. I find the best way is send her a text or two fluff-talking after you get her number, set a date then excuse yourself.

If you plan the date within 2-3 days, then just wait a date before and send her a reminder text with some humor. It's much better if you make a small compliance test to make her invest more. For ex: "You're in charge of sneaking gummy bear into the theatre tomorrow!" (this way you use future projection to make her mind assuming that she already decided to show up tomorrow and given her a small task to do to make her more committed)

If you plan the date more than 4-5 days in advance, just send her a ping text or something funny in between, have a 2-3 texts bantering and flirting then stay of the radar. Then again do the reminder text as mention above a day before.

Those small tricks works for you so try them out.

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