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 Post subject: How to regain control.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:15 pm
Posts: 3
So me and this 10 have been going out steady for about 3 months. For the past 3 years most of my relations with women have either been one night stands or 3 weeks of steady sex and I'm gone. So after meeting this girl I realize she's really a good girl(I kno women lol) , and we connect really fast. At first I'm all over this like I am with every chick I get and every thing is going great. Sex is great, she's constantly blowing up my phone with I miss u, can't wait for more, can't believe I did that I've never done that before blah blah blah. So as two months hit she asks me to meet the folks, I do and I bring her around mine.

So this is where I fuck up....I get drunk one night (I don't drink) and we meet up. Idk wtf was going on with me but I express my feelings to her (which I never do,I know the game) about wanting a relationship (I do but I never ever express this with a girl) with her but I also make it clear I'm not asking, just want to see where she stands... Anyways she says she does have feelings for me and would be in a relationship but it's too early, she just got out of a 1 year relationship earlier I'm the year and she knows how I am, and she just wants to be single for a while blah blah....so we come to an agreement to keep it exclusive but not official(wtf is that lol)...I'm not into this emotional shit so a few days later I tell her I can't be in an exclusive relationship if we not together. We agree to see other folks but she expresses she doesn't like it.

Anyways, nothing about us has changed with the fact that she still sends me a gm text and a call every night (we talk to one of us falls asleep) since we started talking. What's getting me is she's been a lil distant, answering texts extra late, no more I miss u texts, no more random day calls when we are together she doesn't reach for my hand like she always does etc.... Now I will admit after the initial talk I've been more expressive with her than I usually am but not overly afc. She's has the upper hand right now and I can feel it and I don't like this shit one bit bro. It's been a long time since I been emotionally involved with anyone, especially to just one chick... But the biggest problem is I do want her and at this point in my life I don't have time to entertain numerous girls n I'm just looking for a bit of stability for once. So I don't know how to approach this.

My question is how do I regain the upper hand, how do I get her to chase me again, did I fuck this up all together and how do I get her to want me like I want her? Ps...please don't tell me I fucked up, I know. Lol


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 12:43 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
Posts: 5962
Location: Los Angeles
You guys reversed roles. She is the man and you are the woman. Women usually bring up the relationship talk and the guy would normally be the one hesitant about it.

You have to take your role of the man back. That means you act like a man. Let her be the emotional one. Go over to her house do your business and then go home and do this repeatedly. Don't cuddle with her Don't talk to her about her day. Don't do anything that is relationship type stuff until she realizes that it's not happening anymore and craves it again.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:25 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2014 6:18 am
Posts: 66
Location: USA
You fucked up. :)



Also everything you are doing the whole talking to each other on the phone till you fall asleep...seeing each other's parents...everything you've done has the biggest red flag that you're both in a relationship. Everything you both have done or do appear as a love struck couple. Have you both said that you love each other??? I'd be surprised if not, but theoretically speaking you shouldn't have.

She didn't want you to see others, but she doesn't want a relationship..she wants her cake and eat it too.

I think what this other player JackZero was saying is very useful, basically you should be a man again, you seem to just have laid all your cards out and now she knows all about you. You're not mysterious, you almost seem like an open book to her..quite the opposite of what you should have been and be.

Just relax and play it safe, be casual, but I don't know it's tricky since if you shut down every relationship thing she may feel weird, but look at what she is doing recently and mimic her, don't initiate things, just let her do that, don't be rude or aggressive...do it in a casual and passive manner...act like you're busy or you got this and that. I don't know if you weren't in a relationship should have NEVER brought her around your parents....and why did you meet her's? This isn't even SERIOUS....

I don't know you both are doing things and behaving like two individuals who aren't serious shouldn't be.

Good luck on this and just go back to casual dating with her if you even want anything with her. Since she's throwing all these mixed signals everywhere...sounds like she's confusing you and herself...along with everyone on this forum. She has emotional problems or just playing games to have you jump through hoops and look stupid. ALSO quit drinking and becoming a fool....if you socially drink, I get that, but don't get drunk. Be in control of your mind and wits so you know what's up. Not lecturing on it, just saying...get back in control of yourself, her, and your NON-RELATIONSHIP? I guess? Could have fooled me .... ROFL


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