[quote="haszan1172"]okay so we met like 1 and a half month ago. it was her birthday right when i broke up with my ex. I met her approached everything was good, she had a friend too. I gave her a hug cuz it was her birthday.
This girl is amazingly cute.
Okay so i got her number the next day i met her. We texted and everything, however. I came to noticed that she was SOOOO OVER PROTECTED (BITCH SHIELD TO THE MAX). It took me a week to disarm this, build comfort, etc. HOWever she was sooo scared that i might fall for her cuz she has had like the worst history with guys. She is very protective of herself and doesnt want to let any one in. she even told me this. I kept asking her to hang out, she said "i dont want it to be like a date thing".
Okay so going back, her ex visited her 3 times, second time he physically abused her. that is what she told me.
she also has abandonment issues with her parents. fathers gone, etc.
So i wanted to help her. HONESTLY, i fell for this girl hard. HARD i mean. We hung out the next day, took her to the mall, we smoked some weed, etc. It was amazing, she had a lot of fun, we came back late. I dropped her off home, and went home myself. (she always tells me im cocky, in a complaining way, but i prove that im not being cocky, its the perfect level of confidence, and i earned it, cocky is when ur above the limit, etc.)
I build ALOT of DHV over time. ALOT. she flirted with me too, alot. telling me shes naughty, etc. etc.
This girl is soo over protective though. So she tells me shes leaving, she has a flight to mexico, she goes away for a month. While shes gone, we were talking, and i slowly jumped into telling her that i liked her. She was like "omg, omg omg" i can never have a guy friend. i was heart broken. so then we kept talking for like 2 days, (texting) i told her i cannot be with her as a friend. emotions will eat me. then she panics, shes like omg. again with the whole i can never have a guy friend.
She texts me 7 days later. and tells me she misses telling me everything, talks to me about how i make her feel confident,etc, etc. all that lovey dovey shit. Then she comes back after that one month, she tells me she wants to see me. I see her we hug, etc, i hold her by her shoulder, we go get coffe and sit in my car. I asked her about herslef, etc. She tells me she likes no guys, she has no feelings or anything. She is discusted in herself for what she did with her ex. she said she never liked him, she only used him, and now his life is ruined, and she doesnt want to do this to me. I asked for a chance, she said no. So i gave her an ultimatum, as i was frustrated, i was either let me go, or give me a chance. She said then that i deserve alot better than her. etc. etc. And that she loves me as a friend. I drive her home, not talking to her. she said she will still text me, etc.
She grabbed my arm one time i passed her without loking at her (next day after the talk).
Then i texted her 2 days later, asking for a hangout (after the talk), telling her how i dont like how i ended things off. she WENT TOTAL OFFENCE MODE.
Telling me that she wont give me a chance, what do u want from me, etc. I kept sweet talking to her. Then she said u fucked up our friendship. I said we can start over, clean slate. She said okay. (last night). And i said good night. (this was over 1 day of her being totally offence mode, the at the end i cleared the air)
I am soooo confused. I did EVERYTHING RIGHT. EVERYTHING. WTF. Im a good/average looking guy as well. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, i dont want sex, i want a relationship wit this girl.
and i summarized everything. this was like 100,000+ texts summarized. and talks, etc.
so tonight is the night after this last text, i didnt text her.
FUCK FRIENDZONE. THIS TOTALLY DESTROYED MY CONFIDENCE. TO PIECES. I FEEL SHATTERED.[/quote]
Hey brotha, I feel you on this one. I've been in a position like that a long time ago. Okay, so she likes to tell you all her troubles and dilemmas, and whatnot. When you start acting like the "therapist" with women that throw all this out at you, you're not seducing them nor winning them over -at. all. You're doing the opposite: you're slowly becoming friend zoned (FZed). Which is what happened to you. This girl, like you said has had a lot of shit happen to her in her life and is probably subconsciously looking for someone that can be a parental figure more or less since she has never had that. "The PUA is the exception to the rule" as is thrown around in this realm quite often. So my friend, do not fall into that trap. If you want any chance of being with her, you (challengingly enough) have to forget about her. You start with not texting her and seeing her in person as much. Instead, live your life and talk to other women. You can see her once in a while, but make sure it's limited. When she starts bringing up shit where you'll have to play therapist, show her your not interested by giving her short answers, even look at your watch if she carries on. She'll get the hint. Make sure you only talk about fun stuff too. All in all, though, don't put all your cards on that. Again, you gotta talk to other women bro. I know it's hard, I promise you I do, but you're better than that. Idk who the hell you are, but I'm telling you that you're fucking awesome, you deserve the best, and if she's not giving you what you deserve, then say fuck it, and see what else is out there -I promise you there's a ton out there.
Most things we're afraid of are simply challenges, so smile because you'll become stronger from it.