Forum rules


Relationship Subforum Rules

1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.


2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.

3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.



Author Message
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 5:36 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 335
Hello everyone there are two possible problems at the moment around my relationship, and i would like to have an outsider opinion.
To sum up my relationship, i have been with the eastern european girl for six months now, we are both 20, we have a good sex life, and generally get on well with each other. She has her head screwed on more than most girls i would say and i haven't seen any red flags with her, so i am happy. However...

1) At the start of the relationship i was hanging around her place a lot, she works a lot at university, so i ended up spending a lot of time with her SPAM and friend, we got on as mates and had similar interests and lots of good conversation. I would see her SPAM more than my girlfriend, because of my girlfriend's work, but the GF didn't mind and didn't feel threatened or show signs of being threatened, even though she felt that her SPAM was trying to make her jealous at some points.
Well there was a big falling out as my girlfriend had to leave the house, because of financial reasons, which meant her SPAM began to seriously hate my girlfriend.

After all the complications i started to avoid the SPAM, because of obvious reasons, and although we did get on well as friends, i sensed she could use me as a tool against my girlfriend, as she is a chronic liar.

Well here is the problem, around 3 months after all this happened, i have found out that this SPAM is now moving in with me in my new place. A coincidence or what ? one of the people i previously was supposed to live with had to bail out, and gave this place to this SPAM, who only knows me and no one else we are living with.

My girlfriend knows, and just asks that i don't mention her at all to this SPAM, which i understand, i have expressed concern and asked her how she feels about it, because the situation is out of my hands. The problem is my girlfriend starting in september is living in a different city working for an internship, yet this SPAM is in all my lectures and is basically living with me now.

I am keeping friendly but going to try and avoid being in the same room with her by myself, it is a difficult situation, my girlfriend seems optimistic and doesn't want to focus on the negative and i feel she does trust me, but i am not sure how i can act up and be the alpha male (so to speak) in this scenario.

2)

Second problem which may be related to the first is a more simple one.
Over the summer i spent two weeks with my girlfriend in her motherland, visiting and spending time with her family who i got on great with, and just having a good time. I went back home were we had a three month break, speaking to each other a bit on SPAM, but we both were busy so didn't see much of each other, there was a couple of nice texts from her showing affection, saying how she wants to make me a cake when she gets back etc, and i sent her a text saying i missed her.
Well since she has got back to start her new job in a new town about an hour away, she has stopped initiating conversation and turned down a couple of offers to go out with me in london. I saw her the second day she came back, but she seems a bit distant, to a point where i feel a bit offended that she hasn't made much of an effort to see me again.

Generally speaking we are both quite independent, we have a good relationship but we can spend time not seeing each other, but i thought after a three week break that she would be more up for going out. She has a good excuse which is money, which most probably is the case, but I'm a bit concerned that maybe i could be losing some value.

There have been a couple of times in the past when she has been distant, and i usually let her get on with it, because i like to focus on my own life, but we have had a considerably long break from each other.

If i am losing value, how should i regain this ? i have considered maybe i smothered her a bit too much when i saw her the other day, as i bought her a gift.
It could be that she is on her period and doesn't want me to stay the night because of that, but still that makes me feel rejected because i don't want to think i am just there for sex.

I am not losing sleep over this, but if it is the case that i am losing value, or not being challenging enough, then what can i do ?

Many thanks, this forum rocks btw


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 7:08 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:12 am
Posts: 117
Alot of breaks in your relationship is never good.
But you been with her for a while, thus you should know how to regain her interest?
Giving a "poor" girl gifts is normally not smart as they always have the feeling they should give something back but they simple can't without cutting back even more on their lifestyle. (personal experience on this)
If you want to give a small token of affection try something like the tip of a red rose or so. Cheap but won't make her feel bad.

I wouldn't mention that ex to much, if she seems cool with it-pretents it is cool drop the subject and avoid it as much as possible.

As she has a busy life , working and stuff 'to go out with me in london' => late stuff?
Try weekends ect.. try something closer to her new living spot. Try small things, if you do something like a walk in the parc-go to a pub and talk a bit it isn't to expensive nor fatigue. Asking us if you lose value is something we will never be able to answer. I personally always know if I have value or not with people. It is just the way they act, ....

Any more questions?


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 7:40 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 335
Quote:
Alot of breaks in your relationship is never good.
But you been with her for a while, thus you should know how to regain her interest?
Giving a "poor" girl gifts is normally not smart as they always have the feeling they should give something back but they simple can't without cutting back even more on their lifestyle. (personal experience on this)
If you want to give a small token of affection try something like the tip of a red rose or so. Cheap but won't make her feel bad.

I wouldn't mention that ex to much, if she seems cool with it-pretents it is cool drop the subject and avoid it as much as possible.

As she has a busy life , working and stuff 'to go out with me in london' => late stuff?
Try weekends ect.. try something closer to her new living spot. Try small things, if you do something like a walk in the parc-go to a pub and talk a bit it isn't to expensive nor fatigue. Asking us if you lose value is something we will never be able to answer. I personally always know if I have value or not with people. It is just the way they act, ....

Any more questions?
Thanks for the reply man
I am not sure how to regain her interest, i thought i could be more challenging perhaps, but i wouldn't know what that entails to be honest, and to be honest she hasn't given me much too challenge.

I agree with the present gift, but it was only a box of fancy soaps i got from france, the negative effect of this would have been smothering, but she organised a whole holiday for me when i went to visit her, so it was a small token.

As for her ex friend and my future SPAM, i was more concerned with her SPAM possibly hitting on me, or using me to get back at my girlfriend, as judging from past experiences its not out of the question with this girl. I agree though that i should drop the subject and not invest too much time in it.

I have thought that, i would be more than happy to go and see her at her new place and do things like that, but wouldn't that undermine my value which i am already worried is slipping, if i make all the effort to see her.

I suppose overall my questions are, how can i be more challenging and display affection while maintaing my "alpha maleness". To be honest looking at this in hindsight, it makes rational sense that i haven't seen her much since she's been back.
How can you maintain high value when you don't see them as much, and you only really have texts to go on.
Even though i have been seeing her for half a year, this is my first relationship, and i am still a bit taken back from past bad experiences i had with one or two girls before that, so i can't help but feel a bit on edge when I'm feeling sensitive. The distorted messages that you are brainwashed with by the media from a young age doesn't help you much either, in life when it comes to relationships.

Peace


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 3:04 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:12 am
Posts: 117
Staying intresting isn't about magical tricks. It is being who you are and maintaining it. (assuming you are intresting)
Check out what she likes, do things she doesn't expect, live wild.
Can be anything, ask her to come watch a soccer match of you, buy some fruit afterwards and go sit in the parc... Take her to the beach/seashore...
Sport together (swim) ..
Go to a party with friends/with her
Movies.. play pool..
Show up at the end of her workshift (be smart and steal some shoes she is confi in last time you are at her place and give them to her) ... if she works as a waitress or whatever (has to stand up all day) that might be a factor to get her to ease out.
Talk to her as in, you ask intresting questions, ...

Never think to much about being alpha, if you are you know you are and you don't give a shit, as simple as that. If the girl really likes you you can't do much wrong.
Everything you will do wrong will be seen as cute, good effort ... anyway.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:30 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 335
Cheers i appreciate this, although you shouldn't game your girlfriend, i think its good to have a pause sometimes and remember some of your techniques.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:56 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:57 pm
Posts: 797
Location: Portugal
The second problem,is related to the first one in my opinion.

Being interesting or not i dont think here is the problem, you are independet person, and what you wrote show me that she still likes, you guys still have a good sex life... she is probably also sad because of her money issues that can be fucking her mind

And

Your girlfriend is probably angry, lets face it, she can see and so do you... that her SPAM will jump on you, and in september she will have all the time she needs to and your g/f is aware of that . Reverse the roles. and see if you would like that situation.

She is probably hurt, and doesnt want to tell you, girls have pride, lets face alot of the problems in relantioship is lack of comunication, and dont want to show any signs of weakness hoping the other person wakes and see by herself that his behavior is unacppetable.

Besides she is probably thinking in september that this (shit) will destroy the relantioship, she wont trust you... because you are living with a girl, that has show clear signs that wants to fuck you... so doubt in her mind will grow... and SPAM is growing really fast.

Dont you think for one second that the fact they are friends she wont jump on you. You should see a comedy by chris rock its called WOMEN HATE WOMEN he nailed it.

Let me tell you story my Ex had a friend , to be honest was her best friend they would do everthing together... but her bestie started hitting on me, my girlfriend didnt apparently show any type of concern, while I was thinking that really awkard, one night i was with her bestie and friends having good time no g/f, she start to grinding me like a crazy and dancing, was clear her intentions. next day my girlfriend ask me how the night was and how was with her friend , she was already concerned but didnt want to show me. I told her what happened. She open her mouth and told me .... she dances like that whenever she wants to bring a guy home to have sex... cant believe that girl, she starts rambling that she knew that wasnt things in her head that this was concern her for a long time but she didnt want to believe it and show me she was worried.

I cut alot of contact with this bestie. So beware.

Please cut the alpha bullshit... you are in relantioship, you just have to interesting independent and not needy, sometimes you can be SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND for crying out loud ... you just have to be alpha when she disrepects you or do something you dont like ... or she breaks up.

Since you guys wont see as much, you take that for your advantage and be spontaneous and do things you guys both enjoy.

_________________
Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:33 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 335
Quote:
The second problem,is related to the first one in my opinion.

Being interesting or not i dont think here is the problem, you are independet person, and what you wrote show me that she still likes, you guys still have a good sex life... she is probably also sad because of her money issues that can be fucking her mind

And

Your girlfriend is probably angry, lets face it, she can see and so do you... that her SPAM will jump on you, and in september she will have all the time she needs to and your g/f is aware of that . Reverse the roles. and see if you would like that situation.

She is probably hurt, and doesnt want to tell you, girls have pride, lets face alot of the problems in relantioship is lack of comunication, and dont want to show any signs of weakness hoping the other person wakes and see by herself that his behavior is unacppetable.

Besides she is probably thinking in september that this (shit) will destroy the relantioship, she wont trust you... because you are living with a girl, that has show clear signs that wants to fuck you... so doubt in her mind will grow... and SPAM is growing really fast.

Dont you think for one second that the fact they are friends she wont jump on you. You should see a comedy by chris rock its called WOMEN HATE WOMEN he nailed it.

Let me tell you story my Ex had a friend , to be honest was her best friend they would do everthing together... but her bestie started hitting on me, my girlfriend didnt apparently show any type of concern, while I was thinking that really awkard, one night i was with her bestie and friends having good time no g/f, she start to grinding me like a crazy and dancing, was clear her intentions. next day my girlfriend ask me how the night was and how was with her friend , she was already concerned but didnt want to show me. I told her what happened. She open her mouth and told me .... she dances like that whenever she wants to bring a guy home to have sex... cant believe that girl, she starts rambling that she knew that wasnt things in her head that this was concern her for a long time but she didnt want to believe it and show me she was worried.

I cut alot of contact with this bestie. So beware.

Please cut the alpha bullshit... you are in relantioship, you just have to interesting independent and not needy, sometimes you can be SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND for crying out loud ... you just have to be alpha when she disrepects you or do something you dont like ... or she breaks up.

Since you guys wont see as much, you take that for your advantage and be spontaneous and do things you guys both enjoy.
Yeah i understand your points, it might not amount to anything, but they are both enemies pretty much and the girl I'm living with has got the itch if you know what i mean. I asked my girlfriend to tell me how she feels but theres not much i can do in this situation apart from try to avoid being in same room as this girl for too long and tread on egg shells. Experience has told me that if you outright reject a girl they become very creepy.

This girl has demonstrated lots of Iois before, but i ignored it because we did get on with friends and spend time together, i don't think she would have tried anything too outrageous on me, otherwise it would be too obvious and i made it clear to her that i would cheat on my gf.

Im just going with the flow, but am going to be careful and try to have this girl stay out of my way whenever possible but keep nice.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link