ONLINE DATING QUESTION ~ ASK J SMOOTH!!!


Go to page Previous  1 ... 86, 87, 88, 89, 90
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 4 guests
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.   Board index » Real Life Gaming » Online Sarging




Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:38 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:17 pm
Posts: 6
i have a question about how I should reply to this message I got.

First off let me say I dont have much experience messaging girls online, I set up a profile on ok cupid a few weeks ago and have been messaging a few girls recently just to get experience,

there is this HB in my town I met about almost a yr ago, only saw her 2 or 3x, each time lightly flirted, but I thought my friend a yr younger than me who would always pick her up to chill was trying to go for it, but he hesitated and even though they would meet up at 4 am and all in the summer he never made his move, and she complained to some mutual friends about this,

Around then he would kinda try to see what I thought of her, I always said shes tooo young (shes 3 or 3 1/2 yrs younger than me) and he was like yea thats why I didnt wanna make my move and I was just laughing on the inside, hes just a poor AFC

So weird thing is she looked at my profile on okc yesterday and I saw this a few hrs later, and messaged her on there, at first I was gonna be like hey wtf you doing on this damn site -- your not 18 or some sh1t but I stopped my self and came up with this sh1t:

(in a way I now I wish I just said hey - what the heck are you doing on here to get a better convo going,) what i wrote-

"hey its really funny cause I could swear there's this mad chill girl who also lives in (my town) who like just grabbed the exact same picture as her fb profile mad quick like I did, just to put it on this lame ass site and see whats good, and I think her name started with an A also, it's just such a bizarre coincidence, but since your 18 I guess I must be thinking of someone else right?"

[i]And she writes back this morning :


"yeah its really funny cause I dont know if u recall but I'm friends with [(my AFC friend), (c, another long time friend of mine) and v (c's gf of 2+ yrs now)] nd weve met a few times, and I'm not18 .nd yeah this site was a stretch for me nd I don't enjoy it much at all "
[/i]

I doubt she would be coming on here, but I didn't want to use their actual names cuz ya neva kno


so how should I even respond? Is she pulling some kind of slight sh1t test or something here? I thought she was also being sarcastic at first in her reply but it seems too serious, what do you make of it?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Jsmooth, need some input
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:50 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:37 am
Posts: 64
i'm still very new to Online Sarging and i got my first real "connection" if you will with a girl today. i used your direct approach and she replied back w/o being an asshole or threatening. she thanked me for the complement (i said i can tell she has a big heart, a great smile and i find her very attractive) and it was nice meeting her.

i proceeded to to build rapport by saying talking about a few things that we had in common, i.e. dancing; and in between i tried to qualify her by asking why should someone want to be her friend, and again, she was replying back (i'm not that blunt yet lol, but i'm getting there).

fast forward in the convo, i began to use cocky/comedy saying "if your rich, let's skip the chitter chatter and be on our way to vegas" she laughed and responded.

she responded with "i'm not rich yet, but there is plenty of time"

i thought i was doing just fine, and thought i'd give it a shot and tell her to call me. heres what i said



"good, because our kids will need money, since i'm planning on being a stay home husband. Anyways, i gtg hit the bed and i'm tired of typing; but you are more than welcome to call me tomorrow. xxx-xxx-xxxx. you can even block your number :)"




stolen form you as well haha

and she responded

"lol OMG..the world just became upside down..haha women work while men take care of the kids..dont expect a call..i dont call hehe goodnight"


question is, what should i respond with? kinda stuck bro,
appreciate the help


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:13 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:54 pm
Posts: 45
Location: Brighton
Tru_Bishop wrote:

"good, because our kids will need money, since i'm planning on being a stay home husband. Anyways, i gtg hit the bed and i'm tired of typing; but you are more than welcome to call me tomorrow. xxx-xxx-xxxx. you can even block your number :)"

stolen form you as well haha

and she responded

"lol OMG..the world just became upside down..haha women work while men take care of the kids..dont expect a call..i dont call hehe goodnight"


From successful experience and picked up/used from a thread on here already,

I would just blank the 'i don't call' comment and start again with a new conversation next time you on line..

something along the lines of the upside down world, or maybe just a new topic altogether?

Build futher attraction and keep working her, don't move to number close again for a few interactions..

I had same issue with one girl.. got on great for a an hour or so chatting, did the have to go move and drop me your number we can continue texting..
She said 'no thanks, I don;t do phone numbers..'
I chatted again the next day.. then the next day I got the number and we are meeting up soon!

Twenny


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:34 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:01 am
Posts: 59
When do you cut a girl loose? I literally just sent the same message to 10 different girls and one of them wants to text and meet right a way. But I honestly throw up in my mouth a little bit from looking at her profile. I can't possibly want to meet her.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:21 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:54 pm
Posts: 45
Location: Brighton
HereToday wrote:
When do you cut a girl loose? I literally just sent the same message to 10 different girls and one of them wants to text and meet right a way. But I honestly throw up in my mouth a little bit from looking at her profile. I can't possibly want to meet her.


Don't meet her then!!

Why send it to her if you didn't fancy her???

Smacks desperation!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:08 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:01 am
Posts: 59
Twenny Pence wrote:
HereToday wrote:
When do you cut a girl loose? I literally just sent the same message to 10 different girls and one of them wants to text and meet right a way. But I honestly throw up in my mouth a little bit from looking at her profile. I can't possibly want to meet her.


Don't meet her then!!

Why send it to her if you didn't fancy her???

Smacks desperation!!


It's not desperation to contact this girl, I did it for the cold call experience. I want to learn how to do this better so when it comes to a girl I really like, I don't screw it up.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:26 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:33 pm
Posts: 8
I initiated message with my version of mystery's "Beauty is commmon, what sets you apart from the other girls on here apart from your looks?"

I don't have the original message I sent (accidentally deleted all my messages), but the girl (HB 9) visited my profile, and immediately responded with "nope just looks...I think I am out of your league in terms of mental capacity."

I'm not sure if I should waste my time with this girl, but what does her response mean? And how would you respond?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:27 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:52 am
Posts: 41
What to say when she replies to your last msg a few days later.

Well basically we had a conversation going 3 days ago, and she has waited this long to reply (i know she was online during that time) I had some comfort/rapport going and I think this is an opportunity to tease her with something like "I thought you had forgotten about me :D"

Any tips?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Follow On to Opener
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:55 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:05 pm
Posts: 7
I have been using this opener (I believe I got it from a JSmooth post) with a pretty good response rate.

"I just noticed your profile and I had to tell you that you have an incredible sense of style - compared to a lot of the women that I've seen on here. It's like a mixture of classiness and elegance, with a hint of casualness, which still makes you seem quite easy going, rather than a high maintenance materialistic girl - which if you are one of those girl, I'm already gonna have to break up with you.

But beauty is common...so I want to see how cool and interesting you are as a person.

Tell me about something that you've never tried before, or a place you've never been, and you would love to try. "


My question is, following the direct approach idea, where should I go from here, escalate into a number close, ask for a date, what? Thanks


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:28 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 10:22 am
Posts: 44
Location: Dublin, Ireland
I rarely use FB, but I started to think that it would be a good past time to meet HBs and set up dates when I'm at home and not sarging outside. The bad part is My fb has shitty profile, has only few interesting pictures which is basically a DLV :lol: Need advice.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:52 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:52 am
Posts: 2
Location: Bristol, UK
Evening all. Thanks for the thread JSmooth first of all. So Today i tried to take in as much information as possible from this thread, others on here and Styles 7 steps of online PU. Anyway, after trying the 'remove that picture' opener (which she shit tested me on but it seemed to work out okay). She asked me to actually find something wrong with a picture:

Quote:
Myself: Well if I were a proper Englishman concerned for the youth of today - It would have to be the one on the roundabout, where your skirt/hotpants are nowhere to be seen, unless of course there ARENT any, in which case I'm even more justified in commenting on it.


Quote:
Her: Ah ha. I am in fact wearing a skirt. A rather short skirt at that.

I don't want to play anymore.

I'm going to bed.

Have the sweetest of dreams...


Im not sure if that was just an IOD or considering its 1am whether it was a genuine going to bed message. Any idea how to reply to get it going again?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 10:01 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:54 pm
Posts: 45
Location: Brighton
Mercci wrote:
Evening all. Thanks for the thread JSmooth first of all. So Today i tried to take in as much information as possible from this thread, others on here and Styles 7 steps of online PU. Anyway, after trying the 'remove that picture' opener (which she shit tested me on but it seemed to work out okay). She asked me to actually find something wrong with a picture:

Quote:
Myself: Well if I were a proper Englishman concerned for the youth of today - It would have to be the one on the roundabout, where your skirt/hotpants are nowhere to be seen, unless of course there ARENT any, in which case I'm even more justified in commenting on it.


Quote:
Her: Ah ha. I am in fact wearing a skirt. A rather short skirt at that.

I don't want to play anymore.

I'm going to bed.

Have the sweetest of dreams...


Im not sure if that was just an IOD or considering its 1am whether it was a genuine going to bed message. Any idea how to reply to get it going again?


2 options I suggest:

1) Just start a fresh conversation! Move on to another topic and engage her again.. Being a one trick pony about the picture will become boring soon to her...

2) Start a fresh conversation with a link to her comments! - 'Thank you, I did have a sweet dream.. It was about a girl on a roundabout in a VERY short skirt! ha ha'
Did you sleep well/Do you play on round abouts often/what are you doing tonight/etc.... move the conversation on...


TwennyP


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:47 pm 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:58 pm
Posts: 5704
Location: Nashville
Twenny Pence wrote:
Mercci wrote:
Evening all. Thanks for the thread JSmooth first of all. So Today i tried to take in as much information as possible from this thread, others on here and Styles 7 steps of online PU. Anyway, after trying the 'remove that picture' opener (which she shit tested me on but it seemed to work out okay). She asked me to actually find something wrong with a picture:

Quote:
Myself: Well if I were a proper Englishman concerned for the youth of today - It would have to be the one on the roundabout, where your skirt/hotpants are nowhere to be seen, unless of course there ARENT any, in which case I'm even more justified in commenting on it.


Quote:
Her: Ah ha. I am in fact wearing a skirt. A rather short skirt at that.

I don't want to play anymore.

I'm going to bed.

Have the sweetest of dreams...


Im not sure if that was just an IOD or considering its 1am whether it was a genuine going to bed message. Any idea how to reply to get it going again?


2 options I suggest:

1) Just start a fresh conversation! Move on to another topic and engage her again.. Being a one trick pony about the picture will become boring soon to her...

2) Start a fresh conversation with a link to her comments! - 'Thank you, I did have a sweet dream.. It was about a girl on a roundabout in a VERY short skirt! ha ha'
Did you sleep well/Do you play on round abouts often/what are you doing tonight/etc.... move the conversation on...


TwennyP


This is the problem with using other people's material that was customized for them. The original user of this opener knew how to handle the responses because he understands why the opener was workign for him. Understanding the original "WHY" concept behind the opener is key. What we understand at present is the WHAT and HOW behind the opener which unfortunately isn't enough context in cases like this. You have one very small piece of a puzzle in this case the opener, in a very large puzzle of how to get the girl with it. I'm sorry because I didn't develop this opener I can't give you the other puzzle pieces.

This is why mPUAs constantly advocate using your own serious of openers and lines and even just being direct or yourself with what you want to say. Because you know how you'll respond to any reaction she may have.

Granted there are some thread openers and stacks that people have memorized all the way down to several responses. This was done by using someones opener over and over until I just got use to the different types of responses. If you want to continue using this opener you are going to have to think on your feet, and find what responses back work best for you.

OR

You can try to be original and come up with some of your own things to say to women to get them to respond to you. Saying hello and being direct works just as well and clever things about photos that should be taken down.

Blessings

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Closing Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:12 pm 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:58 pm
Posts: 5704
Location: Nashville
Everyone-

I have decided to close this thread permanently. I know there are going to be a lot of questions as to why I am doing this. There maybe even a few that actually are in a place with their own lives where they can choose to comprehend what I'm about to say.

First off, I want to say Thank You to all those who have helped me over the years via the forum. I am still going to be around as a voice of reason for those who need assistance. It is going to be a very different voice than of that, you have previously heard.

Many of you know that I have dated quite a few women in my years, had several relationships, had my business as a dating coach, worked with few so called masters out there, and was able try and help a great many of you. I am thankful to God and you all for that.

Why I joined the forum? In short I joined the forum because I believed that I didn't have the necessary social skills to go out and meet women. I felt socially akward, I had trouble communicating, I had trouble asserting myself and approaching, I like most of you had trouble knowing what to say, and how to say it. I felt like I needed help. Through things like the "Game" which is one of the greatest marketing books for PUA of all time, and the VH1 TV show the Pickup Artist I was manipulated into thinking I needed PUA to meet women. Just the same as there are present advertisements on this forum beckoning you to improve your chances with women.

After joining the forums wanting nothing more than a relationship I quickly decided that I wanted more women in my life. I wanted an abundance of women to date and for other things. This was and is the social normal for this community. I was convinced through dating experts, and forum users that I needed to do more.... MORE was always the answer... More approaches, more sets, new lines, new reoutines, more closes, etc.

Sure enough just as some tactics failed like a junkie I was on the forum looking for my next hit. I found it and some of these actually worked. The trust is I didn't know WHY they worked but they did work. The great thing about using tactics such as those with PUA is that manipulation works very well. Whether people are motivated by fear, social pressure, or other things.... the problem is it does work.

By learning to leverage things like social dynamics with demonstrating high values, pre-selection, and other items we use to manipulate girls it would work. Most of the time it'd result in a close once or even twice with the same girl. It almost never resulted in a relationship. Which I think a lot of us figure out here. You see a lot of people asking how to convert a pickup to a relationship.

The truth of the matter is its very hard if not impossible to make a pickup a long term relationship because we didn't start with trust we started with manipulation as the community teaches us.

The problem with manipulation is this... Say you're out at the grocery and you see your favorite bag of cookies for 50% off. Absolutely you are going to buy them because of the great deal. It makes rational sense to do it. The next week at the grocery they are back on the shelf but at the regular price. We don't want to by it because we know they could sell it for 1/2 the regular price, and most people don't. Eventually the companies sales go down so they again put it on sale for 50% off. Even though they've lost some of their original buyers they still get good sales. Although now this company is going to have to constantly offer a better and better manipulation to get you to buy their product.

It's not much different with sales as it is relationships. If we start with manipulation of different factors DHVs, social pressure, told her we have a big cock, know celebrities, have a fancy car, lots of money, have a cool group to hang with, VIP in clubs, group dynamics, etc. it can as we have shown lead to a sale or a close in this case. However, we'll constantly be looking for new sales tactics to keep the same person interested. Because we started with this ultimately its not going to work into a relationship with the buyer or the girl.

The funny thing is to justify the reasons why I girl closed with you they will go back in their own minds and say its cause he looks good, knows famous people, has VIP, etc. However, that is the rational side of their brain telling you that. That is not the emotional side of their brain that makes the decision, these are justifications, not the root cause of the actual decision.

Ever heard someone say, "It just doesn't feel right..." I know I have both with buying goods or trying to get a girl to close. The trust is when faced with a decision we as humans tend to collect data. If we were to buy a TV we might look at picture quality, reviews online, pricing, etc. We'll get all kinds of data to support the decision we are about to make. In this case let's say its to purchase the new Toshiba flat screen.

It just so happens that we call our friend Jon. Jon tells us oh don't get that one get the Samsung Flat Screen its so much better it does this, it does that, you'll love it. Because of our trust we have in our friend Jon, and that emotion what do we do. We go and buy the Samsung despite all our data telling us to buy the Toshiba. Because it's not the "what" that drives our decisions its the "why" behind them. In this case the "what" is the data we collect and the "why" which is responsible for all our decision making is our trust in our friend Jon.

People don't buy "what" you do, they buy "why" you do it. This goes for both purchasing and for people who really buy into you and want to be around you say for dating.

What builds "trust?" I was on vacation from Tennessee once in Florida where I really didn't know anyone and I was by myself. Needless to say I felt a bit out of place. When I overheard someone talking telling someone they were from Tennesee as well. I told them I was from Tennessee and we instantly had a connection. In fact we hung out later that evening.

We identify with people who share similar ideas and beliefs. In this case it was a person from Tennessee. In those circumstances we both felt alone and out of place but because of that one common thing we had instant "trust and rapport." From there we started building a relationship almost immediately. In fact I'm still friends with that person on Facebook.

During my time with PUA I noticed that the best relationships I ended up in were those that we had commonalties in our believes and values. Because they understand the why behind me, what drives me, what I am about they identified with me and we had a great relationship. Those that bought into the "what" factors of manipulation didn't last long at all.

I kept telling myself "the game" was about building comfort but it was actually deeper than that. If you want women to truly love you, be loyal to you, and endure hardship with you you need trust and communication. They need to identify with your reason for existing, why you get out of bed in the morning, and why they should care. Until you know your own "why" you will be selling the "what" for some time which leads you down the same path to no where over and over again.

My personal "why" is pretty simple. I get a lot of enjoyment out of helping others in life. I love where I work because I get the opportunity to help people with various issues, make them happy, and think of new ways for doing that. When I'm not at work I get to do that through storm chasing and sending needed information to the weather service about storms, some times through being a first responder with medical training, at church, or even on this forum trying to give guidance. That is why I get out of bed in the morning.

You don't win hearts and minds by starting with the "what" factors you win them by expressing to people "why" it is you do it in the first place. There will be some that don't get it and that's okay. The ones that genuinely get that and understand it will build a significant amout of trust with you and a deep relationship in which they are willing to endure physical hardship for what you believe together.

Don't believe me? A great example in the summer of 1963. 250,000 people at the lawn in Washington DC to hear Dr. King speak. They sent out no invitations, and there was no website to check the date. How do you do that? Well, Dr. King wasn't the only man in America who was a great speaker. He wasn't the only man in America who suffered in a pre-civil rights movement. In fact some of his ideas were bad, But he had a gift. He didn't go around telling people what needed to change in America, he went around telling people what he believed. I believe... I believe... People who believed what he believed took his cause and made it their own, and they told people about it. And low and behold 250,000 people showed up at the right day in unbearable heat in the summer and the right time to hear him speak. How many showed up for him? Zero. They showed up for themselves...it’s what they believed about America they had them travel to Washington for hours to stand in the sun in Washington for more hours in the middle of August. We followed Dr. King for ourselves not for him. By the way he gave the "I have a dream speech." Not the "I have a plan speech." There are leaders and there are those that lead. Leaders get their positions through a position of power...those that lead know how to inspire those around them with what they believe, and they go forth and inspire others.

This forum is dedicated to teaching you new whats to manipulate the "what" and "how" behind to get women to like you. However, until you learn what is your "why" and how to relate that to others you are going to be in and out of relationships because you started with "what" and not the "why" behind it.

Let me suggest when you meet people start with "WHY" and then proceed to the "what" about you. Regardless of all the fancy "what" stuff you do whether you lie about it or actually do it, it means nothing. The "why" behind your actions means everything and is what really inspires people whether its to lead them or to date them.

You decide how you want to get to know people. It has been my pleasure being here and helping you all. It is my hope that I can continue to be here and be a new voice of reason for those looking for actual answers and not just sales gimics.

Jon S.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3S ... r_embedded

P.S.> As for those who want to continue Online Gaming I say this. Online Game is no different that being in person, via text, or over the phone. You still have to attract the girl, make her comfortable with you, and escalate. The only difference is you use a computer to talk to her. With that comes certain limitations such as she can't see your body language when you say things, so be careful with things like negs or what could be perceived as insults.

Best of luck to all of you,

J

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 1349 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 86, 87, 88, 89, 90

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link