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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:17 am 
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Im in a relationship with my girl for the last 10 months and things have been up and down. GREAT to SHITE...

Things have been amaizng the last 2 weeks becuase we've dealt with alot of our stuff. Like her being to possesive of me and me not having the freedom im used ot.

All in all, im happy with her.

3 weeks ago though we had a huge fight becuase i wasnt happy with my me time, and wasnt getting enough of it. I was clear we needed to break up.
So I broke up with her.

Unfortunely, she is friends with alot of my friends so she hugn out at party that i then didnt attend cos things woulda been awkward. I have lots of friends so I
hung out with another buddy for the weekend.

My cousin, was at this party and arranged a wine tasting outting and invited everyone, however no one could make it except my ex...

She then got home (we still lived together!!!) and I fuckin freaked when i heard this. She shoulda known better (yes i dumped her! :)
and I would have expected loyalty from my cousin.


Now theres history as my cousin is the quintesential natural in the family! Ladies LOVE HIM... me, I'm a Pua and only really got into my rythm at age 21...
I still have some insecurity around him cos girls always thought HE was the cool cousin...


Since then my ex and I are back together, things are great... My cousin and I have still not really spoken about my outburst and neither my girl nor him think
they did anything wrong...

They think I over reacted...

Did I?

Any tips would be GREAT!

tx guys

P


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 12:58 pm 
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Yes, you are being an idiot.. breaking up with somebody means you both get to sleep with other people. Furthermore YOU broke up with HER.. this is a signal to other dudes in your social circle that you are done with her and that she is fair game.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:15 pm 
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thanks for the honest answer... needed a slap in the face! so my cousin hitting on her so soon, (he says he wasnt)

is me expecting loyalty from him too much to ask or what?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:28 pm 
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I don't know how your bro code works in these situations, but with my girls there is the unspoken rule of not messing with the ex. If I wanna mess with an ex of my friend I'll ask her if I may and really make sure she's not just being polite. If you don't want your cousin to go for her, tell him she is your ex and it will never be ok for you to see her with someone so close to you. If you don't tell him that and the "bro code" of your circle allows it, then it's fair game.

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I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:56 pm 
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Quote:
thanks for the honest answer... needed a slap in the face! so my cousin hitting on her so soon, (he says he wasnt)

is me expecting loyalty from him too much to ask or what?
See, that's my point.. you broke up with her (and not for reason that implies lasting emotional turmoil, like "she cheated on you" or anything like that). You wanted more space (guy-speak translation: "I don't want to be in a relationship anymore because I'm bored and want to go have sex with other girls"). Therefore, your cousin wasn't betraying you or being disloyal.

You are acting like a small child who sets down a toy to go do something else and then gets upset when another child picks the toy up to play with it.

Yes, I know some guys (and maybe Txacoli) are going to disagree with me on this. However it is better to adjust your thinking. You said it yourself that you have insecurities about your cousin. Getting bent out of shape over the actions of your ex is a manifestation of those insecurities and you really should try and work through that. In general, what women do when they aren't with you shouldn't matter that much (with the exception of monogamous relationships). What matters is how they treat you.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:34 pm 
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I'm not disagreeing Wolf, I do agree with you. I just pointed out that some circles of friends have a code that says ex is a no-no. And, even if OP is frustrated by his cousin and this is his inner game issue, if he can't get over it, it's better to talk to the cousin, it can be nasty when there is resentment within family.

_________________
rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:34 pm 
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You shouldn't dump her and then cry about it when she meets other guys (irrelevant that it's your cousing).

+ They never did anything, so it's just you in your head making up stories.

She did nothing wrong. The problem is you.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:41 pm 
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Idk about what everyone else is putting but I would talk to your cousin about that.
Like someone had mentioned there's an unwritten code u shouldn't mess with one of ur friends ex's and that's especially true if he's ur family.


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