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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:45 pm 
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I haven't talked to this girl in over a year and a half, we've had nothing to do with eachother and we ended on absolutely awful terms. However, we stayed friends on FB and apparently she has been keeping up with me even though I blocked her off my feed. She sent me a long message today basically "getting things off her chest". I don't know if I should even respond. She tried to make some points, she wasn't just trying to down me and cuss me out, but all this stuff is dead to me, and she made a couple accusations about me trying to hook up with one of her friends which wasn't really true, but I don't know if I should even take the time to address it. She told me she didn't expect a response so I'm not obligated, not that I would be, but I don't know if there's much to gain here. Its funny because a couple days ago I thought about her saying something to me, and here she is. I don't want just "be alfa dont respond", be serious. If anything I might just wait another year and a half to respond to it. I don't want to post the whole thing (its not THAT long, but still), but if it will help you make a determination I can post some of it.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:01 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:33 pm
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Location: New York
It would help if you specifically told us what she said.

Exs are Exs for a reason, just remember that. If you have no intention of being with her again then there's no reason to dignify her with a response. If she took the time to write to you after all that time then you're obviously on her mind. If there's no reason for you to "reignite the spark" then laugh about the fact that she can't get over you, take it as a nice ego boost, and move on.

Just my personal experience. I don't know what she said to you or what your specific situation with her was, but it seems to me like you're doing your own thing meanwhile she's stuck thinking about you. So let her dream and think about how she fucked up a relationship with you. So yes, be alpha, don't respond. One of two things will happen, she'll continue to think about you and why you aren't talking to her and try and get in touch with you again, or she'll move on and try and better herself because she's sick of having "one-itis."

The ball's in your court, play it your way.

- Stylite


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:22 pm 
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Well basically the last time we spoke was a total mess. She crashed a party that I uninvited her to because I knew there would be drama: there was drama anyway cause she wouldn't stop blowing up my phone and eventually drove over. We argued in the front yard and she threatened to have some of her boys come lay a beating on me. I welcomed it, but it never happened.

It all started when she texted a friend of mine about a 3some (after we broke up). He then told told all my friends what she did, and then I was the last to find out. He thought she was a slut for it, they all did, and when I found out, you're damn right I did as well. I wasn't mad that she did something slutty, I was mad that she would go and do something so stupid within our mutual friends (mutual cause I introduced them to her). 3some through a text? Really? She chalks it up to me being sensitive and bitter about the break up and I just couldn't get over her, but I knew she was already seeing other dudes and honestly didn't care about that. She thinks because she's single she can do anything without repercussion, and that I manipulated all my friends into thinking negatively about her. And then she says I turned her own friends against her, which I didn't really have to try to do, they were all starting to hate her anyway. One of her friends reached out to me as a friend, and we hung out but nothing happened. I eventually hooked up with one of her friends, who is technically a mutual friend of my ex but they weren't really that close, they may have met twice.

I also said some mean things about her education, she went to a party school and worked a shitty part time job and her parents paid for all her vacations.. Apparently she took that personally and decided to write a long scroll about it, honestly I didn't really care. At the time I was unemployed and not going to school, so she decided to use that as leverage. She at least acknowledged that I have a degree now and a job, but I can understand her defending her credentials.


Bottom line, she thinks that I was bitter and didn't get over her. There's not really much I can say to disprove that, which is why me responding would seem like a waste, but what I was mad about, at the core, was that she would do something so stupid to one of my best friends at the time and expect there to be no judgment, and then when there was, it was all of the sudden all my fault. She thinks people passing judgment on her is me "claiming her for the rest of my life". Its really messy.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:29 pm 
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Quote:
Bottom line, she thinks that I was bitter and didn't get over her.
She thinks her value is higher then yours because you showed this to her this way. Now when you're gone and doing good she starts to realize that you simply got over her.

Always the same..


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:32 pm 
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Location: New York
Tundra, the answer is obvious. It's not that you can't get over her, it's that she can't get over you. You win the break up :lol:

Take the message as your prize and move on.

- Stylite


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:59 pm 
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I want to believe that. See at the time when we fought, she tried to turn alot of it around on me and make her look like a victim, and I bought some of it, mostly because I was tired of dealing with it and she started crying and whatnot.. At the end I sent a text apology, and that was the end. I apologized for shit I didn't do, so I guess she took my super-beta apology and ran with it. She ended up leaving for the peace corps for a few years so I haven't really had to deal with her in person. I'm not going to respond unless she makes a huge fuss about it, but its the same shit as before.


Where she got this "can't get over her" crap was from a one time when we hung out after we broke up, she was kind of being flirty and sending weird signals so I asked her where we were, and she was like I'm seeing somebody. After that, I left it alone. She wants to extrapolate that to omg I never got over her she just meant so much to me. That's where that all came from, from 1 event that was in private and was settled immediately.

I remember one night where she was giving me shit at a party and I was calling her on it and then she felt bad and started texting to meet up somewhere. She was definitely trying to fuck me that night but we ended up fighting because I couldn't drive: I was with friends drunk as hell at IHOP waiting for them to finish so I could get back to my car. She'll never admit that but its pointless bringing it up. I think most of it is pointless, she takes one event and psychoanalyzes it for truth that fits her version of reality. Sure, we probably all do that, but in my heart of hearts I was not mad at her for going out and seeing other people, which is what she suggests, and there's no way to prove a negative so its not worth the effort.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 5:08 am 
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This girl is a Mess and she would pull down every guy she is with into a mess. I dont care how hot she might be, I'd get rid of her ASAP and have nothing to do with her by any medium of communication.

I'd tell her that she is right, NO guy can ever get over her and that she is SO WONDERFUL. But my bad that I cant handle such a great girl and hence I want to settle down for someone less WONDERFUL and beautiful than her. period. and never reply back or talk to her again.


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