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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:44 pm 
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As a guy who's been in this thing for 7 years now, I needed a place to vent my thoughts on and experiences with natural game and dating in general, so I decided to create such a place. It's a way for me to monitor my own progress/thoughts, for me to give feedback on myself. Feel free to comment if you feel you must, but don't expect a reply as I'll do lots of ranting :lol:

First thing on my mind: your intentions... and how they relate to settling for less.

Most guys have such a low degree of understanding of women that they do anything to get a woman, ANY woman. They game one of their buddy's exes or family members who they swore to never try and attract, they ruin a conversation a guy's having in a club by acting drunk, a girl asks a friend of a guy about him and he never tells him, they screw up at their jobs and get fired just to get the girl. Stuff like that. I hear similar stuff all the time from people who ask me for advice: most guys assume the means justify the ends because of their scarcity mindset.

At some point though, the average guy realizes he can't get the type of girl he wants. That's when he starts to look for someone less pretty. Less interesting. Whatever. He settles for less, hoping it will make him happy but it does not. I'm willing to bet this is one of the biggest reasons why there are so many divorces.

Now this is all stuff most people on this forum know, but settling for less actually starts earlier. Way earlier. I mean, how many freaking guys meet a girl and end up befriending her while they had sexual intentions? More than anyone can count that's for damn sure. But isn't that settling for less too?

You WANT to be someone's lover, you become a friend though, and you stick with it. You perhaps hope to still get her some day. So you're accepting subpar circumstances. Circumstances below your expectations. You simply got less than you wanted out of it and accepted it. THAT'S what I call settling for less.

Why do so many guys lack the confidence, the self-respect, to think to themselves "Look honey, I have enough friends as it is already. I'm not looking for more friends. That's not what I intended so I'm moving on." Your intention was not to be friends, so why the hell did you become friends?

But there's more: you KNOW your friends dislike your success with women. After all, why else do they interrupt you when you talk to chicks? Try to steal your ex or whatever? In short, your friends are far from good wingmen. They HURT your chances with women you expected to have... and you accept... because they're your friends. Why? Why do you take BS from your friends. Is it your problem that they lack the confidence to get a girl without dirty tricks? Nope. By accepting them you're settling for less. Sure you can be friends if you want to, but only in non-dating situations. That means not going out with them, but doing other stuff. Accepting their presence in dating situations while you KNOW they want to limit you IS settling for less. Period. It's settling for less than a good chance of getting girls.

Last but not least: for the people who've come full circle. The experienced dudes. What I can't understand is how you can get a girl here and there, any girl you pretty much want, or you end up in the best relationship ever... and then you stop. Why? Don't you know you can improve the other areas of your life with the skills you learned? Don't you know, for example, that challenging the boss, being picky, teasing the guy and everything makes him like you more than the average person? Of course you don't want to date the guy, iel, but you can use the same principles you use in the dating game to get what you want in the game of life. To get a promotion. To get the kind of people into your circle of friends that help you realize your ambitions (if any). Isn't not evolving beyond the dating game settling for less?

Of course, most guys are blind to these facts. They don't know the opportunities that are within their grasp... getting more confidence, getting more out of life in general, be happier than ever because you do not settle. Just because you're blind doesn't mean there's nothing to see...

And some people retort to this argument of the game of life versus the dating game by saying "yeah dude, but I exist to get all the girls I can because I'm the next Hugh Hefner man." Really? So your life is about womanizing... hmm... therefore if there are no women, you're not living? You ARE not a pick up artist. That means if there's nothing to pick up you're dead and useless. You're busy with the pick up arts, just like you ARE not a lawyer. You practice law because if there is no law then...

Living life to the fullest, to me, is always growing. Always improving. Don't confuse it with never being happy or never being confident about what you have, no, it's simply always seeking out a challenge because it's fun. It's inspiring. It let's you learn, while you have and always were perfect. I'll stop ranting now.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:57 pm 
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This brought back so many memories and heartbreaks from my high school years.

However, I do believe that even if a girl isn't interested when you game her, you can still be friends. After all, if you don't talk to her about where you messed up on, you can't ever Grow or Learn.

Haha just my thought.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:46 am 
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The only female 'friends' i have are acquaintances who I am interested in fucking. I have a couple of female friends whom I'm not interested in, but I don't see them weekendly or monthly.

I would like to believe that a site like this enables dudes to get the women that they WANT, not settling for. Once that part of your life is locked away and sorted, you then move onto other things such as your career etc. using these skills.

_________________
Bite of more then you can chew
Then chew like hell

My Journey:viewtopic.php?f=22&t=192265


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:22 pm 
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I really enjoyed reading this. It was very well stated. I'm copying it to a text file to go over from time to time, just as a positive affirmation for the perspective I work to maintain. Thanks!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:01 pm 
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Quote:
Living life to the fullest, to me, is always growing. Always improving. Don't confuse it with never being happy or never being confident about what you have, no, it's simply always seeking out a challenge because it's fun. It's inspiring. It let's you learn, while you have and always were perfect. I'll stop ranting now.
This right here.

_________________
"Ignorance is bliss."


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 Post subject: On masculinity...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:02 pm 
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Thanks for the responses guys! Glad to see there are some like-minded people out there.

Today it's time for another rant. This time about masculinity and how most people's view of it is FUBAR (f*cked up beyond all recognition).

First off, don't expect women to be able to give you a definition of what a man is... as her observations will be based on her past experiences and expectations of men rather than on reality. In short, you'll get a biased opinion. Furthermore, asking someone what it's like to BE something when they never were "it" will get you a description, but all feelings associated with it. It's just like trying to make a blind person who was born blind to feel what it's like to see.

I've only been stating the obvious up until this point, but now comes the not so obvious. Since most men, even in these times, still grew up with a father who was away (at work) most of the time... we spend most of our days growing up with our mothers. And, curious as human nature is, we ask our parents about everything we can think of... and since mom's around most of the time, we ask her the most.

Therefore you and I grow up with a biased opinion about man. A "trying to let the blind feel they can see" mindset of man. A FLAWED view of what a man is.

Things only get worse when you realize today's society is filled with billions of distractions and most people are only passing time instead of living life: they work, they relax after work, they sleep, and they perform the basic functions (eating, drinking, f*cking, etc.) When is it a good time for self-reflection? It never is, plus it's confronting too, so most men live their lives with beliefs and attitudes that are FED INTO THEM... by their mothers, Hollywood, TV, friends who grew up with equally flawed views of man...

And guess where you got the idea from that it's wrong to express your feelings as a man? That you are "supposed to" be strong, like to compete with other men, like beer, football/sports, boobies, cars, technology and all that other "typical male" stuff? That you're a fag if you only display one inch of a soft side? That's right: from alllll those people with the flawed opinions fed into them by their mothers... and by the salesmen manipulating them (and you) to be a good little consumer.

Last but not least: there is this little thing called feminism. Feminism tried so freaking hard to demonize every single character trait associated with men. At first feminists said you're a male chauvinist pig when you talk to women with sexual intentions, when you're being dominant, when you're being territorial. Later on, it was "wrong" to say those traits are masculine to begin with because women can be dominant too, and women can be this and women can be that. It was wrong to want to hunt (work) for food and shelter and for women to take care of the children because "yeah that's confirming to gender roles and bla bla."

This is why most men have no idea what the hell it means to be a man. This group is telling you it's bad to be anything remotely associated with men, that group tells you that you need to consume X, Y, and Z or you're not a man. The view on what a man is supposed to be is so distorted that most men feel disappointed throughout their entire lives because they want to feel important, they want to live up to an ideal... just like all humans do... but how do you live up to an ideal where there is no definite ideal to begin with? You can't be an angel today and a devil tomorrow dude. There is no living up to any ideal if the ideal always changes.

A long time ago I decided to cut the crap. I made the decision, then and there, that being a man boils down to a few simple truths:

- Other people's opinions on what a man is contradict each other and confuse me, therefore I choose NOT to follow anyone's opinion anymore. I pave my own way!

- It annoys me how other people dare to say what I should and should not feel, therefore I choose to feel whatever the hell I want to feel AND express it whenever the hell I want

- You cannot really BE anything when you need to invest conscious effort and time into something. That's doing. You can only BE when you let go of all the things in past, present, and future, and enjoy the moment. That's being. Therefore I choose NOT to think in opposites: the real man versus the wussy, the pick up artist versus the afc, night versus daylight. Everything is part of a whole, opposites are only two sides of the same coin... so there are always exceptions to the rules of both sides because there are always two sides to the same story... so no one can tell me this is being a wussy or being this and that. Because the truth is you can only BE when you are both strong and soft, awake and asleep. There is no wussy. There is no real man. There is only man. Existence. Being.

And this is one of the basic dynamics of natural game in my opinion: returning to nature. In nature, all things exist, regardless of whether you consider them to be wrong or right. They just are. Therefore, being a man is being what you are naturally inclined to be without compromise. There are no rules, only those you choose to accept... and while this is natural game, it is at the same time freedom. True freedom. Being what you were designed to be.

Do you see now why discussions on what a man is, what masculinity is are nonsense? Because I am what I am, while I'm a male, and you are what you are, while I'm a male... we are both different while we are both males. There is no ONE definition of males and masculinity, because being a man means nothing more than being what you are and we are al different.

Stop being confused. Just be. Yes, even when you can't get the girl right now... there is nothing wrong with who you are so there is no need for insecurity. It is what you do that is wrong. You correct yourself by experience though. More on this later...


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