| Hi there,
I want to share the story of a method which worked in the end but is opposed by all of the theory which PUA guys - including myself - follow. Please read this post to the end for the unbelievable ending.
This story was shared with me tonight by my Chinese sister Li who lives in Shanghai but met with me tonight while visiting Beijing. Li is very attractive, 28 years old, and a seasoned expert in the import-export field, and is not naive about relationships, haveing been in previous ones with both western and Chinese guys.
As she explained tonight, she met about a year ago a 20 year old man - i.e., 8 years younger than her - from the U.S. They met in a bar in Shanghai where they danced while she was somewhat intoxicated.
Later, when he phoned her, she couldn't remember who he was and politely explained that she would not meet him. He then phoned her every day for a week and, finally, explaining that he was just looking for friends, she agreed to meetup.
They then met for some friendly discussions for a week or two with no hint of romance or kino. Then, suddenly, he announced that he was in love with her. She firmly told him she just wanted to be friends - and, as she explained to me, at that point she felt no physical attraction for him whatsoever and also considered him too young for her.
Subsequently, he returned to ths U.S. folloiwng more friendly and plantonic talks, When he left China they had never kissed, held hands or anything of the sort. In response to my questions, Li assured me that when he left she still felt no attraction other than friendship.
Once back in the U.S. the man in question contacted her daily via MSN or SPAM for online chats. ALL of these online sessions were initiated by him, as Li was not that interested,though she was happy enough to chat with him online as a friend. During some of these chats, he again informed her that he loved her and she again usually pointed out that she was only interested in friendship. She also explained to me that at that time she just assumed that he would wander off through meeting some U.S. girls or otherwise move on.
Suddenly, however, he informed her that he was flying back to China just to see her again. At first, she didn't take this too serously but was astonishd when she discovered that he was really coming.
Up to this point, as I'm sure you've noted, this guy had broken every PUA rule in the world: He initially phoned over-and-over when Li was disinterested' later, he confessed his one-sided love over-and over even when she firmly told him LJBF; he invested time and energy in contacting her daily from the U.S. while she invested little or no energy because she wasnt' actually very interested; and finally - biggest mistake of all - he flew all the way back to China just to see her.
NOW, the surpirse ending I promised. Instead of the reaction of disgust or at least disinterest PUA theory would predict, Li - as she told me - was 'deeply touched' by his decison to visit her. "We were already friends," as she told me, and now she 'begain to have feelings for him". She took him to meet her parents - an improtant step in Chinese romance - and they are now in a stronlgy committed relationshp!
Li's story really blew my mind, as it's completely opposite to everythig I would have expected to happen. My sister and I are very close so I also asked her about challange. Didn't she feel that there was not challange in that he overtly cofessed his love AND kept constantly in touch with her? She replied that for her challange had nothing to do with it; initially she wasn't attracted but, she said, when she saw how much he cared for and loved her, she felt moved and begain to love him back.
I'd appreciate feedback on this story. Is it just an anomaly - i.e., a very unusual female reaction? Does it represent important cultural differences between Chinese women and western women? Is there something in this story - something between the lines - that I might have missed? Or is PUA theory - which I myself follow - somehow flawed. What do you think?
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CHAT