Great post! Just love the can of worms you opened up. Ever since i became interested in the natural game, this topic has mercilessly haunted me. What I have realized goes far beyond staying indifferent (or rather helps the above)
The things is this: being a slave of the social pressure, the value one places on the thoughts of society is immense. People who REALLY don't care (rather than acting so) are ignorant of their place in the world and thus rarely achieve their full potential. People who care too much try to structure their lives around everyone else (ultimately HELL)
Clearly, the ultimate place to be is in between the two extremes. As for behaving differently around complete strangers vs friends; I vote "complete acceptance" as opposed to "Indifference" Doesn't that make much more sense? Most of us care what our friends think or say about us. Through ball busting and honest opinions, complements and harsh criticism, we still know we are accepted for who we are.
In other words, people one feels "close to" accept him unconditionally: since that person is able to fill the void, to satisfy the need of other, whether it may be physical or (more importantly) emotional.
I'm not trying to give any advice in the rant above, but reframing from "I am indifferent" to "I am accepted" literally annihilated many issues with AA and Day 2.
(The one that really drove it home for me was "I can satisfy her needs", which is essentially the same statement sprinkled with arrogance)
Hope that made sense
Al