I'll start off by telling a little about myself. I'm a 22 year old male who was born in Phoenix, AZ(U.S.) and has lived in there for the past 15 years.
I’ve always been an introvert. For most of my life I’ve been comfortable with being by myself or sitting in silence while with company. A lot of the time I just simply don’t know what to talk about, whether with co-workers while at work, hanging out at the bar with a group of friends, or sitting in the car on the way to play some soccer. Often times, while growing up, I’ve been jokingly told that I was “too cool” when I avoided doing something that would turn everyone’s attention on me for a moment or when my older siblings’ friends would invite me to hang out with them for example.
After learning about the community and reading up on it I realized that I can change what I see now as a flaw. So before trying to get out and simply talk to people(which I probably should have done), I bought a bunch of books on communication, body language, etc. and kind of half-read a few of them which didn’t help much. I then tried to practice socializing where I work(Starbucks), like chatting it up with every customer. That kinda helped, but only got me so far. So then I decided I’m ready for the newbie drill. But not just say hi to women, but to everyone, men and women old and young, since I have problems conversating as it is.
Yesterday around two ‘o clock I went for a walk and did a lap around the local downtown area and said “hi” to nearly everyone I walked by (men, women, old, young, whomever). I did it again that evening around ten. Overall it was a pretty positive experience. Some people responded back with a warm “Hello”, while others, mostly 1 set females, completely didn’t respond with no comment or no eye contact.
Observations/Reflections:
1. People respond better when you have a smile on your face BEFORE you approach or say “hi” to them.
2. People are more responsive during the evening.
3. I need to project my voice more (actually now that I think about it, I’ve always had people ask me to repeat myself or say “what?” after i have made any sort of comment)
after the last set I walked by, a 2 set guy/girl couple (who warmly responded back to me with “how’s a goin’ man?”), I pictured myself doing some sort of opener. i.e. “Real quick, lemme get your guys’ opinion on something…”
I’m just not sure if I should start off figuring out a canned opener that’ll help my social skills for mixed sets or come up with something of my own…
On a certain forum I read that if you know 10 things that women are passionate about and 10 things that men are passionate about than you’ll be able to talk for days, which makes complete sense to me.
Although its not 10, some that I came up with were (very generally speaking at least here in the U.S.):
MEN – women, sports, cars, local news/weather,
WOMEN – men, fashion, clothes/makeup, local news/weather… cute pets? lol
am I somewhat on the right track?
Thanks,
Smiles
sorry for the long post and if its in the wrong thread...
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