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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:34 am 
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ok so im not new at all and ive studied pua for the past year or so and i consider myself pretty decent in pick up. and i met an amazing girlfriend in the summer and we were dating for 7 months even when i had to leave out of state for college. things were going along so smoothly and she was just crazy about me. i did a good job.

im not going to get into details but basically she wants a break considering many different things going on in her life right now. shes very busy and not being able to have me at home with her all the time (about every 3-4 weeks at a time along with holiday breaks)

she just wants a break and feels things arent as strong between us anymore. she doesnt want to replace me and doesnt want another boyfriend or to mess around with other guys really. she just wants to be herself again too. i know her well. she still likes me and wants to keep in touch and wants to get back together this summer. we both truly believe things will be normal again when im back for good

but as for now, im just wondering how anyone else has treated their ex girlfriend in aim of getting back together. i know i shouldnt keep in much contact with her and i should act opposite of how i feel. not needy, desperate at all

i was with her today for my last day in town this weekend and i told her i was meeting up with one of my old flings just to hang out and she got very very jealous. i kept insisting that were only friends and we really are at this point. she said she was jealous.

but anyways, has anyone else discovered any other tricks or tactics into making her really jealous and realize what shes lost? i realize that i have to change back to my old self when we first hooked up in a way. the flirty, pick up dude who controlled the relationship.

but its been a while since ive practiced all this pua and im a little rusty. any words of advice on getting back in control of this relationship at all would be greatly appreciated. thanks


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:16 am 
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if you feel needy and desperate, then there is your problem. You're overwhelming her in the relationship; maybe too overbearing or you are putting too much pressure on things.

Next time around, relax; take things a bit slower....

remember that even if someone wants a serious relationship, they don't want the relationship being their entire life. it's not fun, and it's not cool.

As for how to get her back? If it's just a break, then she'll be back. Let her do her soul searching, and I highly suggest you do some of your own. Just make sure that you two are somewhat part of each others life.

Strong words of advice: don't pressure getting back together. Let things flow, thats what she wants. Time apart. Give it to her or it will just end up being like two same force magnets. One tries to go back to the other and the other pushes away.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:08 pm 
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Rain, Locke is right on.

I'd add, making her jealous is not a bad idea. But hurting her feelings and leaving a negative last impression is not going to help. If you really like her, and want her back, make her feel better about herself. Make her memories of you, ones she misses.

She seems really nice and honest. I respect a woman who tells me to my face that she'd rather see less of me. It's huge. It's honest. Now I can adjust my game if I choose.

But if you want to make her jealous, do so in a positive way. Do things that increase her attraction to you. Show you're more independant. Ramp up some new activities. Date. Get yourself centered.

Just don't burn your bridge.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:43 pm 
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Totally agree with Nightrider and Locke here.

The whole 'making her jealous' thing is tricky, and potentially disastrous if you're hamsfisted with it. I'd stay clear of it in favour of giving her space. Space she can fill for herself with all the good memories she has of you, rather than how crummy you made her feel when you told her you were meeting up with an ex (which for some reason you felt the need to tell her about...a littel cruel don't you think, though I understand your motives.)

By telling her something like that, you're treading a fine line between making her realise she's not the centre of your universe - obvioulsy a good thing - and actually hurting her - obviously not a good thing.

And just a final thought: you don't want to 'trick' her into wanting to be with you again, you want her to miss you. In my opinion the only way to do that is by giving her the space she needs. It's a little dizzying to consider the prospect of her not coming back - lack of control...kinda why I hate flying - but aside from doing just that, anything you do will only succeed in pushing her away a little bit more.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:52 pm 
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thanks for the input guys. i guess your right. she real is a very honest genuine person. and i trust that she just wants space and that we would be fine once summer comes and i move back.

and when i left i did leave things on a good note. she said she felt like everything was just like old times. i didnt bring up anything about the break, we just hung out. she was treating my like her bf besides not so much kissing and holding hands etc... we even had sex on saturday. i basically told her straight out we may not see each other for a while and i wanted her and i wouldnt think any different of the situation.

but as for telling her about my old fling, see, things died down between us and we never really did anything.. she kept flaking on me so i got her out of my life, but 3 months laterwe started talking again and were just good friends now. even tho i know something is still there.

we were out to eat and my gf just got really jealous and told me so. she's like "you know i still like you.. you better not go make out with her.... you know she's just gonna try to get you to like her again..." etc "she even had a sad quiet moment when she told me she misses me

i kept reassuring her were only friends but in a wishy-washy fashion. so shes still a little insecure about her. now i plan on just totally leaving her alone til she contacts me. but if she doesnt soon should i drop her a text or something?

should i make it look like im getting over her?
should i let her know im going out and meeting other girls now, finding dates... (via facebok statuses, pictures, casually mentioning it in convo)????
flip her switches and confuse her???

like i said im a little rusty, im not sure what approach i should take.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:27 pm 
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Quote:
should i make it look like im getting over her?
should i let her know im going out and meeting other girls now, finding dates... (via facebok statuses, pictures, casually mentioning it in convo)????.
In my opinion no, and no.

This is precisely what I'm talking about when I mention space. If there are gaps in your life she doesn't have the information to fill in, then so be it, let her use her imagination. You're not being cruel, you're just making it abundantly clear that you respect her wishes for space, and that you're man enough to deal with it. If you start telling her about dating, or meeting other people it sounds like you're attention seeking. She'll see through that in a second, believe me.

About getting in touch with her: try not to blink first. By that, I mean don't be the one to initiate contact. Let her make the effort. If she feels strongly enough about you, you won't be waiting long. That's the inherent fear you need to get a handle on: that by being away from you she'll somehow forget. It's a totally normal thing to feel; you just have to take the plunge and hope it works out.
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we even had sex on saturday. i basically told her straight out we may not see each other for a while and i wanted her and i wouldnt think any different of the situation.
I apologise if this is a little strong, but that's tantamount to coercion. You asked her permission, added a side order of subtle emotional blackmail, and gave her a get out clause. All for free. She's less inclined to respect someone who's asking for a mercy fuck. I'd avoid this if you're in the same position again. Good luck, Rain.

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"Regretting the past, looking forward to the future, while never being satisfied with the present, this is how my life is spent." - Tchaikovsky


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:55 pm 
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alright so ill just give her the space. thats sounds logical that i shouldnt get over her like that

but i wasnt the one who brought up the sex!! we were reminiscing about old times and this one time when i gave her this little coupon "good for one free full body massage" and i was like that "expires on my birthday." shes like "we still have some time" and i was like "yea but its gonna be a while". her-"so u want to do it now?"

i just kinda shrugged my shoulders and smerked
her -"i would still fuck you now."
i made it look like i wasnt really desperate. she asked if it would be alright and i was like well we may not see each other for a while


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:01 pm 
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Quote:
but i wasnt the one who brought up the sex!! we were reminiscing about old times and this one time when i gave her this little coupon "good for one free full body massage" and i was like that "expires on my birthday." shes like "we still have some time" and i was like "yea but its gonna be a while". her-"so u want to do it now?"

i just kinda shrugged my shoulders and smerked
her -"i would still fuck you now."
i made it look like i wasnt really desperate. she asked if it would be alright and i was like well we may not see each other for a while
Ah, ok cool! See how I filled in the blanks there without you telling me the whole story? Remember that when you feel like getting in touch with her.

Good luck dude.

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"Regretting the past, looking forward to the future, while never being satisfied with the present, this is how my life is spent." - Tchaikovsky


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:50 pm 
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Why would you want to be in a relationship with a girl that doesnt want to be in one with you? Theres a lot of girls in this world brosef, move on.

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