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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 4:34 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:59 am
Posts: 10
Background

I'm someone who's been either tragically single or in a LTR most of my adult life. I recently ended it with my LTR and the last month I've been getting out there trying to build my confidence and experience up. It's proving to be a steep but enjoyable learning curve.

Friday Report

I've been building up my social network, spent the night across two venues between three groups of friends.

At the second venue (bar with live RnB, almost entirely dance floor), I was back and forthing between two groups, when I spotted a girl I'd seen at the venue the last few weeks (HB8.5, petite asian girl).

First week at the venue, I somehow ended up near her in the crowd (proximity IOI?) and made a solitary comment "look how far back from the stage we've been pushed". AFC. Lame. Bzzt fail.

Opening

This time, as I was moving between my two groups, it seemed like I spotted her pointing me out to a friend. Perhaps it was just imagination. Later on her group had ended up closer to ours. My "natural" mate said "The secret is to say hi". I kinda had some extra confidence because there was so much cross-polination between the groups, that I felt pretty comfortable saying "Hey, do you know xyz?".

A new friend I'd made that evening (now wing) moved into the three set and started working on my target's girlfriend. I was kinda at a loss, I didn't want to pay too much attention to my target, but attempts to even make eye contact with the third girl proved unsuccessful. She was in her own little world as we all danced.

I had some probs hearing her, so I indicated we should head a little towards the back to talk. No lounge available, but at least I could hear her. Seemed to hit it off.

Later we're back on the dance floor, its my wing, target and I. The two other girls had gone to the bathroom. My wing leans in and encourages me: "talk to her". So I lean in and make some comment about the particularly bad song that's being played and take it from there.

Kino

So we're all dancing, and I'm thinking back to comments I've read here about dance floor game. Alpha male behaviour. I'm thinking... I should just put my hand on her waist and draw her in. This isn't something I was comfortable doing with someone I barely new. But I remembered some comment about "if she doesn't want you to touch her, you'll know straight away". So I put my hand on her waist. She didn't move it. I made sure to slowly escalate my kino. Traced down her arms, held her hands, spun her round. Later I dragged her in close for numbers like "It's getting hot in here", and she held me tight as we danced low and slow.

A few moments I thought I could k-close, but I preferred to take it one step at a time and my goal was to get my first number-close. Also, I didn't want to be seen as just a "party pash" and easily forgettable.

Number-close

Here's where I fucked up.

The three-set is leaving. My friend's got the number of one of the girls. I pull out my iPhone and open up contacts "can I get your number" "sure".
This literally being the first time in this situation (with the iPhone, a little tipsy and digging this girl while trying to play it cool), I slept the iPhone after entering her details. So before they head off, I'm asking - so what are you doing tomorrow? "Going out with friends, you?" "Same". And as they head out I do the phone ring gesture and say "should I call you?" "Yes".

Afterwards my wing and I head back and share what happened. I open the iPhone and see the contacts open. I unconciously hit cancel... on her entry that I hadn't yet saved.

That's right, I accidentally cleared her number.

My new-wing agreed to chase it up for me through the other girl, and that was the night. There was much forehead slapping at that point.

Conclusion

Lessons learnt:
* Dance floor game - less thinking about openers if the IOIs are there, simpler ("hi") is better.
* Sometimes it's not possible to ignore your target, so just play it cooler as you interact.
* Lead and they'll often follow (off the dance floor to talk)
* Make that first kino move, but do it lightly and escalate appropriately.
* Make sure you hit save on that new contact. Better yet - just call the number and add the personal details later!

I'm smiling at myself as I write this. Sure, I potentially lost a great girls # - but more importantly, I gained experience and confidence that I can apply in any situation from now on. I think it's a fair price to pay. Who knows, I might get that # down the track, but I'm not cutting myself up over it.

Thanks again to everyone here for providing and contributing to such a great resource.

Better stories next week! :)


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 2:26 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:17 am
Posts: 15
I agree. #'s aren't as important as having solid game.


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