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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:05 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:48 am
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Me and my girlfriend have been dating a few days, we have been seeing each other few weeks.

how often can I take her out for a good time? If I spend the night and the next day we get lunch together, would it be too much to take out to a movie that night, or would she like that?

I just don't want to over do it.

basically can I smother her with so much attention she is no longer attracted, and if so, how much

are there any basic guidelines?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:15 am 
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I am in about the same boat as you and it is easy to show a lot of attention to her. I have a few ways of easing it a bit and that is to keep myself occupied and trying to make time with friends and not blow anyone off to be with her. I work awkward hours so that helps keep me busy so she is dying to see me also make time to go to the gym or another pastime you can do solo. I see my girl about 3 to 4 times a week and for long periods of time. I dont know how she would feel about the movie after a whole day and night together but personally i would try and stagger your time a bit more. I am curious to see what other people have to say and hopefully i helped a little bit.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:51 am 
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Mr. Nemo

Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 8:18 am
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Location: OC, California
Quote:
basically can I smother her with so much attention she is no longer attracted, and if so, how much

are there any basic guidelines?
You can smother a girl with to much attention that she looses attention. How much that depends on the girl as some girls need/require more attention than others. So you have to always be judging her interest level at all times to see if you are giving her to much attention or not.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:16 pm 
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Maybe I'll back off the next few days and see how she reacts.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:44 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:32 pm
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THis is a very interesting question. If it's going out to a party with a bunch of people i dont know and get drunk or chill with my girl....obviously the latter is more interesting. But im curious how you attempt "interest tests"? I should actually raed more about this relationship thing, i've been just trying to wing it and make sure i maintain push/pull and chill with negs.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:35 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:41 am
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Location: Long Island
Quote:
Quote:
basically can I smother her with so much attention she is no longer attracted, and if so, how much

are there any basic guidelines?
You can smother a girl with to much attention that she looses attention. How much that depends on the girl as some girls need/require more attention than others. So you have to always be judging her interest level at all times to see if you are giving her to much attention or not.
I think this is the answer. I don't think the problem is directly the fact that you spent too much time together, but rather, indirectly, this has made her feel too comfortable with you, or that you are too easy. agree that being a lil too busy for her the next couple of days might fix this a bit. i was in this situation with my LTR last weekend, so i just started acting like a PUA again. no joke, that helped the siutation a lot.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:01 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 12:29 am
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My ex smothered the shit out of me!! I started to take up video games so I had an escape. She then would just sit there and watch me play. I couldn't do things I wanted to do because I felt she would be upset by it. I completely lost myself and became disillusioned.

So, how much is TOO much? Well you should be able to identify her hobbies/interests/friends. Know the plans she makes. Know her friends. If you listen enough, you will know when she wants to be with you and when she wants time to herself. Guy example: Sundays are for football! You gotta know what she likes to do by herself, and make her feel like she has the freedom to do that whenever she wants. If you give them that feeling of freedom, but also project being there for her whenever SHE needs YOU, then you've truly reached the perfect balance.

Also, if this is a BRAND NEW relationship, you HAVE to still DHV yourself. They haven't totally fallen for you yet, and still need examples to reassure them, you are THE MAN. So that means, have personal plans. Go out with your friends, work out, play sports, etc etc. Let her know that she has to work around your schedule, but don't allow her to feel neglected. How would you do this, you say? For example if she KNOWS you may have nothing planned, be ready to do what SHE WANTS to do. Show her you care and are busy at the same time. Don't sit next to your phone and wait for the next call... make plans. However, you must be careful with this. If it is an activity that she CAN be included in, then invite her, but if you're just going to the gym to workout, obviously you don't HAVE to give an invitation.

With all things in life, it's about balance. Only when you truly get to know a person will you know where that perfect balance is at.

Hope this helps a bit.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:54 pm 
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The replies did help a lot thanks, i have another question.

We live on a college campus, therefore seeing each other is VERY easy. THe thing about chilling with friends going to parties is this....

sitting with a bunch of guys drinking in a dorm room OR chill with the girl?

going to a party to get drunk and CANT hook up with girls OR chill with the girl?

If it was "go skydiving or see her", i'd go skydiving...but as u guys can see the above options is what i'm working with. If being with her is gonna be most fun, i should STILL choose not to have as much fun just to DHV? I'm sure you understand my dilemma. What should i do?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:57 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:41 am
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Location: Long Island
Quote:
The replies did help a lot thanks, i have another question.

We live on a college campus, therefore seeing each other is VERY easy. THe thing about chilling with friends going to parties is this....

sitting with a bunch of guys drinking in a dorm room OR chill with the girl?

going to a party to get drunk and CANT hook up with girls OR chill with the girl?

If it was "go skydiving or see her", i'd go skydiving...but as u guys can see the above options is what i'm working with. If being with her is gonna be most fun, i should STILL choose not to have as much fun just to DHV? I'm sure you understand my dilemma. What should i do?
i sounds crazy, but i really think the answer is DHV and hang out with the boys once in a while even if you know its not going to be as much fun. Of course when you tell her about it, make it sound like you had an awesome time and you were the life of the party. i've been doing a lot of reading lately on attraction switches that girls have when they are dating a guy. keeping your social circle, and hanging out with them once in a while definately seems to help a girl stay interested in you. on the other hand, giving a girl all of your attention every day may have the opposite effect.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 6:42 am 
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Hmm. Dont hang out DAILY. Make her wait a little bit. The worst thing for me is a girl who calls you and texts, and wants to see you before shcool, after school, and every night. 3 times a week isnt bad, but daily is not good. I always "Have To Study" when some girls bug me daily. Then they feel upset and hey miss you.... etc... I would like to find a good balance between the girls, and time for myself and family.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:15 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:23 am
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well it depends how much attention she demands!
i usually dont set a plan/outline on when we usually hang out because she'll then expect a usual time, thus making the process boring. i like to mix things up always, and always keep her guessing and wanting more, that way things never get boring.
then again i usually make one day out of a busy week to spend time with my mistress. after that one day i keep calls short, to a minimum, and decline useless "i just want to see you" mettings. but that one day i have counts. i make it the most incredible day she's ever had. hands down. literally.

hope this helps,
G.L

_________________
rAFC. I'm on a good path.
16 yrs. old, and loving it.


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