just for the record, I didn't come up with the Onion Theory. Mine is the Semi-Permeable membrane Inner/Outer Frame with the Core as a Nucleus. (Great Frame Crash Theorem.) Totally not applicable here.

Onion Theory, credit is not mine. I shall not take it!

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- Zip

Awesome post Zip!

I have to say that I'm glad that you have the courage to face those issues and when you realise you're gonna end up sabotaging things yourself, you made the effort to change your thought belief systems and fix what would become a problem. Not enough people allow themselves to realise that they have this capability and that THEY are the ones that control where things go in their life, by deciding how they choose to act.

It frustrates me to this day that there's a girl that my thoughts wander to now and again and her issue is that she was unwilling to allow herself to open up to a relationship, because she believes she has relationship issues and that's how things are. She said very similar things about how things would eventually end when they reached a certain point, only instead of waiting till that point, she decided to skip ahead and just abandon all hope long before.

It takes a far stronger person to open up and allow themselves to enjoy a relationship as long as it may last, without trying to engineer it (of course improving/strengthening it and working things out are another matter) and always stay a step ahead of their partner. As the mysterious man said, don't try to fix what isn't broken, wait until things aren't going as well as they are now, then think about changing things, but that doesn't mean you can't continuously improve things just a tiny bit every day in other ways (I'm assuming you've probably read Awaken the Giant Within, but if not, then you need to get on it Ms. Librarian ).

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye