Is the Alpha male friendly...?

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Is the Alpha male friendly...?

Postby redzum » Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:52 pm

Whenever I think of the alpha male attitude, I think of confidence, strength and power. I think of someone who can get things done; a leader. In my life, I don't have much an issue with looking at life this way or interacting with others this way. But I find, I'm not very friendly when I'm in this state of mind. I rarely smile and sometimes push people around. I'm not looking to be an ass, but I find the more I focus on being "alpha" in my daily life, the less friendly I feel with others, which obviously includes women. Is this really the right attitude? I feel like I'm missing something.

Should I be focusing on being friendlier, smiling more, being more "approachable" in general? Sometimes I feel like a jerk (I don't mean the "nice guy" definition either, but an actual asshole). Tips or advice?
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Postby xZEROx » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:00 pm

Yes alphas are friendly, all the guys i have met who get a laid a lot are very friendly and laid back, but when the shit hits the fan they step in and take control.

'alphas' are normally relaxed, happy and friendly. This will help you much more to get laid. Focus on happy alpha not angry serious alpha.
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Alpha male

Postby KevanSnow » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:04 pm

Hmm, being an alpha male is basically about leadership in a way. There are many ways to lead people (imposing your mood and dominance on the people you are with) and there's no correct answer.

But dont you think being around nice people is generally better?

Pushing people around is just being an asshole it's not being a leader.
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Postby Sombre » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:12 pm

"alpha" does not mean "aggressive". It means self-confidence.

With age, I noticed that I was more "alpha" than I thought : people rely on you when in trouble or when a group decision must be made, for example. And I am neither violent or aggressive, but rather calm and friendly. And I find it better for bonding...
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Postby Mago812 » Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:58 am

I found that being more alpha starts with eliminatin the phrase "i don't know" from your vocabulary. You at least act like you know what to do at any time.

The mean guy thing... I read once that women fall for "bad boys", guys who are dominant, knows what they want and will stop at nothing to get it, which is a turn on for the ladies, but they also come with abusive personality, sometimes they hit the girl, abuse her verbally or otherwise. You want to take this "bad boy", and change the abusive things with playfull, teasting attitude. Hope that gives you the idea.

But no, as already said, you shoudnt be mean. More of a c&f, with funny taking a great portion. Just my two cents.
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Postby Section B » Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:42 am

Theres a lot of people that think they are alpha and try to act it. Many on this forum. When faced with a challenge or situation they cant handle it. some try and act bigger than what they are but they know they are not that big man and this is why they fail.
They need to stop acting and writing like they are alpha and start making changes to become alpha.
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Postby zebraG » Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:51 pm

When you watch the latest Bourne film, notice the bit where he talks his way into the lab. That's alpha.
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Postby redzum » Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:24 am

I can definitely get a little too serious at times, very down to business. And that attitude helps with work, but picking up chicks isn't (or shouldn't be) work. I have the aggressive part down, but if I'm not mixing it with playful or funny, I'll just push women away. I got to work on that.

I can have a good time with my bros and I love my life for the most part, but when it comes to women, I get too serious and tighten up. Which is weird, because I cannot stand women without a sense of humour, I love to joke, laugh and have a good time... except with women. Strange, huh?
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Postby pumpington » Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:00 am

being alpha, is simply having the highest status (most importance) among a group of people

it is the first letter in the greek alphabet, as well as having the value of 1 in greek numerals, it suggests being primary, or first (leader of the group, or most important, primary person)

if you are friendly, or rude is not highly relevant, you can be rude and be important compared to other men, you can also be friendly and be important compared to other men, you can also be rude and be a complete social reject, or be friendly and be a complete social reject

the problem with that whole ''nice guy'' paradigm is that it doesn't actually have much to do with being ''nice'', ''nice'' is simply a word we assign to people that don't bother us but are not important, you're at work, you're coworker comes up and asks you what you think about the new guy jon, (lets say jon isn't funny, you talked to him a bit but didn't share any interests, the conversations between the two of you were pretty boring but he bought you coffee or something and was at least making an attempt to be on your good side), so you say, oh yeah... jon, he's ok, he's a pretty ''nice'' guy

now lets compare this to say, one of your buddies, lets say you have a buddy that is a very friendly positive person, he doesn't dis-respect people, but he doesn't like being dis-respected either, he has awesome stories that you can relate to, you have a ton in common, and you both like to go out and do the same things and have alot of fun together, now when your coworker asks you what you think of your buddy, you're more then likely to assign him a different roll then, yeah... jimmy? he's a ''nice guy'', it's more likely going to be yeah... jimmy? that guy's pretty awesome or, jimmy? yeah.. I like him he's blah blah blah
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