did she seduce me or did i seduce her or am I fucking it up


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:00 pm 
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I met this woman (((nearly perfect))) one night out and she asked me out. after I initiated the first message, we found connection based on international experiences,adhd, and crazy events despite the fact that she is 13 years older than me... This isn't a usual thing for me, where I'm into older women; she also looks amazing for her age... like she's in her early 30's (she's 41) I'm 28yrs... she's also expressed how much she likes me and has elaborated on the many reasons...She is very well connected with international producers and clubs (thievery corporation being one of them)... while I have VIP black cards into night clubs and connections in many cities, one bouncer jokingly said "is she with you?"(he said it with a smile and a wink) he really meant are you with her.....

It's been a lot for how short I've known her... That is, the conversations we've had (emotional, personal, flirtatious) She has literally blown up my phone for two-three weeks strait...I literally told her "listen I don't have time to call or text anyone else because you contact me so much... you win" she was initially asking me to date her.... I'm also in a awful point in my life. I told her that I'm in transition with some things but not in the katelyn jenner sense and it's not realistic for me to date right now....Unlike her I'm self-made... and while I've lost a lot, I've accomplished more than her....It's not that i'm so superficial or intimidated by a beautiful, smart, independent woman.... I'm just not in a good position in my life to have a relationship.....This later turned into a pep talk before sex...... I was having a bad day; she started saying "you realize I really like you... you don't have to be closed off"... She's invited me to travel with her among other things (several times, all expenses paid).... she actually drove out of her way to pick me up to come over to her house...I jokingly said to her "isn't this how horror movies start? a 28yr inside a 41yr apartment across from a police station; security system is activated; can't get out" lol

I'm noticing that the attraction is dying down via text and due to her perceptions about me when we last met.... Also I said some stupid shit because I was trying to not come across as insecure about where I am in my life... Basically in one day, I may have killed it.......

she keeps bringing up topics of dating, relationships and friends with benefits.... she keeps changing how she she see's us.... She also has some inconsistencies in what she says which makes me think, she's not telling the truth or she's playing me

unfortunately now she knows I like her (3weeks on)... She's even said it to which I've responded "yeah you're alright"

I'm now wondering: am I fucking it up with my insecurities? is she playing me?.... I just don't feel like I can trust her yet...

I'm not sure how to move forward with this... I don't have time for this connection but I find myself falling for her now... and I'm saying cocky stupid shit because I'm overcompensating to try to try to get the upper hand....


I figured i should stop talking to her for a couple days at least....


Last edited by felipe89 on Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:28 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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If you are showing her that you are insecure then you are messing up. Women tend to like guys that are secure.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:03 pm 
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I think it was more the feeling that I projected to her


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:58 pm 
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I sent her this message on my second number:

Hey I was concerned something wrong had happened to you (I mean that in a friend sense) as you've mentioned the abusive ex boyfriend a lot lately.
I'm Hoping that's not the case and you're ignoring some stupid/weird texts messages I sent you instead.
(I haven't been sleeping due to my bullshit I've been fixing)
Anyway, I hope you are ok
regards

Her:
Yes

He overdosed on heroine

I’m sorry I am just trying to call his mother

I guess he had me as emergency contact


Should I not respond or call her in a week? or not contact her for awhile?

If I call her, should I explain my messages? I was thinking about saying something along the lines of this: Hey by the way, I hope some messages i sent you, weren't received; hopefully there was some technical anomaly or they got lost in a text message black hole


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 11:25 pm 
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What are you trying to accomplish? She's not communicating with you even though you are trying. Isn't that enough of a clue for what you should do?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:36 am 
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understood


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:33 am 
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I figure I will call her in a week or two.... it doesn't seem excessive to me, as she's already left me multiple voicemail... but i'm sure the interest level is different now


Last edited by felipe89 on Mon Oct 23, 2017 3:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:46 am 
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I'm not sure whether she is busy or now not interested. she's expressed a lot interest in the past and we've talked a lot

Sent her this via text:
Ok... sorry to hear that.
I Should of caught on that you were unavailable...


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:51 am 
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Jesus, man.

You're acting like a woman right before her period.

Look at the exchanges..she's the dominant one right now and you're apologizing for doing nothing wrong. Makes You look unbalanced and passive.

Stop texting her, let her get back to you. Might be tomorrow, might be next month. But unless she's hitting you up 2-4 times a week for sex, you have no consistent romantic relationship.

Go about your life, focus on what you control and center yourself in the context of this woman.

If she does reach out again, stop fucking talking/texting so much and arrange meets.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:52 pm 
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true lol


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 1:51 am 
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LOL.

She pulled back, and now you're getting sucked in.

Most likely she was free and available when she was blowing up your phone. Most likely the abusive ex was the one who had withdrawn from her. And most likely she's headed back into that type of drama and no longer has time for you.

And like a moth to the flame, her reducing interest in you has sparked your interest in HER.

There's only really one thing to do: find other women, reduce your dependence on her, and see if she comes back to fill the vacuum. If not, then she's probably gone.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:44 am 
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ChocolatePUA wrote:
Most likely she was free and available when she was blowing up your phone.




This is so important. Most guys just become her text pal in those days, and then interest fades.

When a girl is blowing up your phone, she can't stop thinking about you. That's the time to arrange IN-PERSON meets so you can seduce her, give her orgasms, and have her fall in love with you. That's how you steal a woman from a guy, not via text.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:41 pm 
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^i've already done that....


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:43 pm 
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the sex wasn't so good... I mean she didn't have that much stamina...She needed a break and wanted to talk politics (a DC thing) and I was super high and drunk because she kept offering me drinks... I was so high I even said, "isn't this how horror movies start? 28year old in a 41 year old woman's condo across from a police station with the security system on; can't get out"..... Note: she looks like she's in her late 20's/early 30's; she ages really well; Half Irish, Half Persian; it's actually kind of amazing)

I agree. I've given her way too much attention.... She also knows that I like her... I didn't drop the L word, But I told her she has a lot of qualities that are hard to find...

I'm just not sure whether it's infatuation or genuine interest.. one question I asked her was do you go from one relationship to another instead of dating or being alone? I'm sure I didn't receive a honest answer. at the the time she was asking me on various dates.... we've also had "a lot of serious conversations" and She's invited me to a lot of events.. I kind of fucked things up a bit when I mentioned some personal matters that I wasn't secure about...She doesn't care about superficial things but my lack of confidence and or control of my situation definitely affected her interest...She's also busy with various things and So am I.... I think it might be best not to contact her for at least 2-4 weeks or not at all

She seems to have various ex boyfriend issues.... every time I talk to her she mentions ex's... I even told her "hey because I'm a private person please redact me, when I make you into an ex-girl friend

I like her for the fact that we have similar personalities,preferences and tastes. she has even said that... I wasn't so into her at first...
Don't message further?


Her:Yes
He overdosed on heroine
I’m sorry, I am just trying to call his mother
I guess he had me as emergency contact

me:Ok... sorry to hear that.
I Should of caught on.
That you were unavailable...

Her:It’s okay... You couldn’t have known. Thank you though


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:39 pm 
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felipe89 wrote:
the sex wasn't so good... I mean she didn't have that much stamina...She needed a break and wanted to talk politics (a DC thing) and I was super high and drunk because she kept offering me drinks... I was so high I even said, "isn't this how horror movies start? 28year old in a 41 year old woman's condo across from a police station with the security system on; can't get out"..... Note: she looks like she's in her late 20's/early 30's; she ages really well; Half Irish, Half Persian; it's actually kind of amazing)

I agree. I've given her way too much attention.... She also knows that I like her... I didn't drop the L word, But I told her she has a lot of qualities that are hard to find...

I'm just not sure whether it's infatuation or genuine interest.. one question I asked her was do you go from one relationship to another instead of dating or being alone? I'm sure I didn't receive a honest answer. at the the time she was asking me on various dates.... we've also had "a lot of serious conversations" and She's invited me to a lot of events.. I kind of fucked things up a bit when I mentioned some personal matters that I wasn't secure about...She doesn't care about superficial things but my lack of confidence and or control of my situation definitely affected her interest...She's also busy with various things and So am I.... I think it might be best not to contact her for at least 2-4 weeks or not at all

She seems to have various ex boyfriend issues.... every time I talk to her she mentions ex's... I even told her "hey because I'm a private person please redact me, when I make you into an ex-girl friend

I like her for the fact that we have similar personalities,preferences and tastes. she has even said that... I wasn't so into her at first...
Don't message further?


Her:Yes
He overdosed on heroine
I’m sorry, I am just trying to call his mother
I guess he had me as emergency contact

me:Ok... sorry to hear that.
I Should of caught on.
That you were unavailable...

Her:It’s okay... You couldn’t have known. Thank you though


Show her some sympathy about going through a trying time. Check in with her once or twice. But don't depend or expect any substantive communication from her. You're also being VERY insecure by talking about "I should have caught on that you were unavailable". Erase that kind of shit from your communication.


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