Hello people. Need help on this seriously.
This evening I went to a bar alone. I was standing, listening to music and drinking beer. There were group of foreigners football fans in the bar. One of them aproached me and asked to help to talk to girls. I said I am not able to help. I was not sure how to say the reason. He said I am smart guy, but I am shy. And he started saying - go try, if it does not work - you do not lose anything. Which makes sense.
I said I feel shame when it does not work.
He still said lot of times to join to them, and go to the table where girls sit. And started saying to say hi to girls/, how are you doing and similar things.
And then he talked to girls that he is helping me, I am shy and so on.
It feels kind of weird. This is bad in girls eyes that I am shy and I need help from some guy.
Then he said me to talk to girl which he talked to. I tried to say few word, like hi, how are you doing. Etc.
But of course those girls saw that I am stressed. And couple of them were bit overweight which often are easier to talk with.
He kept pushing me.
On one hand I need somebody to push me out of comfort zone. But on the other hand - man needs to be relaxed when talking to girls, right?
The girls were laughing at me. I said to that guy that this is screwed. He said - no, go to talk to them and if that does not work, you do not lose anything. You are smart. Why cant you get a girl. You talk to them, if they say no, you do not lose anything. He repeated this hundred times maybe.
But I saw that this is really screwed, I will not get relaxed in that bar anymore because of this pressure and I went home.
That is good at least that I am free to go out and relax.
I have been lot of times in those situations when I am hugely stressed and cannot talk to people normaly, have fun. I need to chill.
This sucks a lot.
For example as I wrote in my journal today I met girl from the internet and I had an easy talk with her because I was relaxed, there was no pressure. But when there is pressure, I am fucked.
Good at least that nobody knows me in that bar.
I am feeling shame.
How do I get pressure to get out of comfort zone but at the same time be relaxed? Maybe he was helping in wrong way, putting too much pressure. He does not understand how does it feel to be stressed maybe because he maybe never had been in such situation like me.
At least I had done something what is not in my comfort zone but the result sucks.
After situations like this were I get very stressed, I am feeling very little worth, and like not worth the girl like today I had met. Such beautiful girl wants a guy who does not get stressed in social situations. Such stresses reduces my confidence - reminds me how bad I still am.