Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

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Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Danzella » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:34 am

Been seeing this girl about 2 months now but she just can't seem to let things go. I said to her that I find lateness rude about a week ago because she does tend to be late quite often and her response at the time was "I'm a girl so obviously I'm going to be late"

Alright, whatever, not sure how gender makes a difference here but sure. For the past week every minor disagreement we have she flips her lid over, like I'm talking full on trying to argue with me and bringing up things that we've had minor disagreements about in the past.

I'm only 2 months in so I have no qualms about walking away if I have to, but when she's not exploding for no reason she's a really cool girl.

How do I handle that kinda behaviour? I usually just say something like "I'm not arguing about this, it's not an issue" and then freeze her out, usually a few hours later she'll apologise and everything is fine again until the next "blow out".
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Arch Stanton » Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:03 am

Danzella wrote:"I'm a girl so obviously I'm going to be late"


You (with a grin, in a playful sweet way): There are many attractive women out there who like to be on time.

Love is playful, not serious.


Alright, whatever, not sure how gender makes a difference here but sure. For the past week every minor disagreement we have she flips her lid over, like I'm talking full on trying to argue with me and bringing up things that we've had minor disagreements about in the past.


Common symptom of too much contact (phone, in-person, etc).



How do I handle that kinda behaviour? I usually just say something like "I'm not arguing about this, it's not an issue" and then freeze her out, usually a few hours later she'll apologise and everything is fine again until the next "blow out".


Check your dominant frame. Are you complying too much? Doing too many favors? Having too many emotional talks? Too much constant contact and not enough "you time" on your career and hobbies? Women will get bitchier with their men when their not as dominant as they were early on (and in bed, too).
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby JackZero » Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:10 pm

She's at the point that she's showing you who she really is. She didn't flip her lid before because she was trying to reel you in. Now that she thinks that she has you, she doesn't feel the need to hide the more unattractive parts of her personality. This is who she is...a cool girl until she explodes for no reason who knows that all she needs to do is apologize in order to get you to forgive that behavior.

Honestly, she's spent a lot of years of her life to develop this attitude she has. You aren't going to be able to change her because you want her to(at least not permanently). She's going to have to want to become less argumentative. She's going to have to want to stop her habit of being late.

I don't advise you to walk away in hopes that she sees that she was wrong and then she knows that she'll have to change to get you back, because that won't work for more than short term. I'm also not a fan of passive aggressive threats because those are the first steps to pushing her away. I'm an advocate of finding women that fit what you want. If I were you, I'd walk away. There's always the next girl.
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Eddie Fews » Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:45 pm

Aside from just being "really cool" what value is she currently adding to your life? Im sure you're really cool as well, just as a ton of other women are.

What is she actually bringing into your life? Or is she currently just fucking you, being cool, and keeping you company? I think an escalation to a relationship should revolve around an escalation in the contributions to your life. A lot of guys just jump into relationships because the girl is 1 point higher than the 1-10 scale than they're used to. So Aside from you being committed, how does this differ from the typical friends with benefit relationship?
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Danzella » Wed Sep 06, 2017 5:17 pm

Arch Stanton wrote:
Alright, whatever, not sure how gender makes a difference here but sure. For the past week every minor disagreement we have she flips her lid over, like I'm talking full on trying to argue with me and bringing up things that we've had minor disagreements about in the past.


Common symptom of too much contact (phone, in-person, etc).

Check your dominant frame. Are you complying too much? Doing too many favors? Having too many emotional talks? Too much constant contact and not enough "you time" on your career and hobbies? Women will get bitchier with their men when their not as dominant as they were early on (and in bed, too).


We don't get to spend too much time together, couple of days every couple of weeks because we both have work commitments etc.. which makes it a bit difficult. We do text a lot, though. Like all day on somedays so I think you're 100% right about the too much contact thing, I'll try and scale that back a bit.

She is quite high maintenance.

"Go make me a coffee"

Me: "You see these two long things below your waist? They're legs, you can totally use them to walk over to the kettle"

I rarely comply when she makes requests like that, I say no but playfully like in the example above. The thing is, when we're together she's fine, lots of banter, teasing, sex is good etc, it's only really when we're apart that the problems occur, probably easily fixed by less texting.
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Danzella » Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:03 pm

Nevermind.

I pulled back slightly, less constant talking, for a few days it went perfectly fine. Then, today all hell broke loose. I was due to meet her this coming Tuesday and she said "You wont stand me up, will you?" No idea where that came from, I said of course not and then went into the gym. I came out to and I'm not exaggerating, over 100 text messages.

"How dare you stand me up"
"Why wont you be there"
"Are you kidding me"

Lots of swearing, lots of name calling, over.. a hypothetical situation that was never going to actually happen anyway. This girl was literally acting like I had just stood her up and she then caught me fucking her mum when she got home.

So, I ended it. I'm not into that kind of crazy.
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Arch Stanton » Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:17 am

Nice, man.

It's not always the men who are emotionally-uncentered.

I would not put up with this, and have dumped quite a few women for this.
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Re: Girl I'm seeing can't let things go

Postby Slick_uk » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:25 am

Massive bullet dodged. Hope she doesn't know where you live/work!
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