I don't know my next step with this girl. What would you do?



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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 7:12 am 
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I've gone out with this girl 4 times now with the 4th being tonight. We haven't banged yet. Tonight would have been the night but I didn't have a condom. We grabbed dinner then went to a bar and drank. The night went really well, she was all over me and me all over her. The night ended with us in the car, she blew me and we were gonna fuck but I didn't have a condom so we stopped. She was sad I didn't have one and said next time don't forget to bring one. I told her I was gonna go buy one but she started to get emotional.

She told me she didn't want to have sex because she is staring to get way too attached to me and she doesn't want a relationship right now. She said sex would mKe her get even more attached. Then she kept saying this is a mistake and that we shouldn't hang out again. I told her the reason why I keep hitting her up is because she's a fun person. She's fun to hang out with and when I go out with someone I don't have any expectations other than to enhance my evening and have a fun time. It ended with me dropping her off, her moving in and making out with me for a few seconds and me driving home.

Now I would like to make this girl my lady. I don't know the next move with her. She's very clearly and overtly into me but doesn't want that commitment of having a boyfriend right now. Should I pretend this never happened and still ask her out next week? What would you do if you wanted her as a girlfriend? Any advice is greatly appreciated.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:09 am 
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OG_PlMP wrote:
I've gone out with this girl 4 times now with the 4th being tonight. We haven't banged yet. Tonight would have been the night but I didn't have a condom. We grabbed dinner then went to a bar and drank. The night went really well, she was all over me and me all over her. The night ended with us in the car, she blew me and we were gonna fuck but I didn't have a condom so we stopped. She was sad I didn't have one and said next time don't forget to bring one. I told her I was gonna go buy one but she started to get emotional.




Not once in that paragraph did I see the sentence, "I made her orgasm".



Quote:
She told me she didn't want to have sex because she is staring to get way too attached to me and she doesn't want a relationship right now. She said sex would mKe her get even more attached. Then she kept saying this is a mistake and that we shouldn't hang out again.


Haha, always have a condom on a date. Women lose their shit when they're about to fuck a guy for the first time and the "no condom pause" happens. If anything, this just shows you how "in the moment" women are. Once second they're ready to be yours, and the next their in a negative space because of a pause.

Quote:
I told her the reason why I keep hitting her up is because she's a fun person. She's fun to hang out with and when I go out with someone I don't have any expectations other than to enhance my evening and have a fun time.


Jesus, what a load of shit that is.

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Now I would like to make this girl my lady. I don't know the next move with her. She's very clearly and overtly into me but doesn't want that commitment of having a boyfriend right now. Should I pretend this never happened and still ask her out next week? What would you do if you wanted her as a girlfriend? Any advice is greatly appreciated.



Any socially valuable woman doesn't want a commitment/relationship right away. That is what cougars, whose social marketplace value has plummeted do, or 6's and under.

Everything you've told me about her is a good sign...a sign of a strong independent woman who knows what she wants, and who has the patience and the emotional intelligence to wait for a relationship to blossom organically.

With that in mind, get "I would like to make this girl my lady" out of your fucking head. It's a desperate starting point, and completely in-congruent with what she's told you (she DOESN'T want anything serious).
So right away you're way over-invested compared to her.

If you really want to make a girl "your lady", you don't have a "talk". You live in the moment. You avoid Debbie Downer meta-relationship talks, you make her orgasm every time you hook up. You're dominant in bed. you don't over-contact or smother her. When her phone lights up, she thinks "fun", not "Stage Five Clinger". You go to the gym and keep fit. You focus on your career.

you do not send novels of emotion via text. Light. Fun. Playful. Simple. And when you do this long enough, a woman will have "the talk" with you.

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Last edited by Arch Stanton on Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:10 am 
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Going to a date without a condom.

Imagine if you were a soldier and realized in the middle of the battlefield that you have no weapon.


Use your common sense guys.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:04 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:

Jesus, what a load of shit that is.



Yea I guess that was the best I could come up with on the spot. The point I was trying to make with her was that I'm not out with her looking for "that special someone" or anything other than having an enjoyable evening.

Arch Stanton wrote:
Any socially valuable woman doesn't want a commitment/relationship right away. That is what cougars, whose social marketplace value has plummeted do, or 6's and under.

Everything you've told me about her is a good sign...a sign of a strong independent woman who knows what she wants, and who has the patience and the emotional intelligence to wait for a relationship to blossom organically.

With that in mind, get "I would like to make this girl my lady" out of your fucking head. It's a desperate starting point, and completely in-congruent with what she's told you (she DOESN'T want anything serious).
So right away you're way over-invested compared to her.

If you really want to make a girl "your lady", you don't have a "talk". You live in the moment. You avoid Debbie Downer meta-relationship talks, you make her orgasm every time you hook up. You're dominant in bed. you don't over-contact or smother her. When her phone lights up, she thinks "fun", not "Stage Five Clinger". You go to the gym and keep fit. You focus on your career.

you do not send novels of emotion via text. Light. Fun. Playful. Simple. And when you do this long enough, a woman will have "the talk" with you.


I appreciate the feedback. I have that relationship mindset in the back of my head but I never said to her that I was looking for anything. I know that would kill the vibe real fast. The whole night we were being extremely sexual, making out, she was grabbing my dick inside and outside my jeans and me rubbing her pussy. The last five minutes of the night ended with her saying over and over that she gets attached to people really really easily and we "probably" shouldn't do this again and don't hit me up again. That kinda threw me off a bit.

So you're thinking just play it cool like we never had the convo? I was thinking next week when i want to go out with her I'd tell her I have a groupon for _____ (possibly wine tasting?) thats about to expire and tell her to come with me. That might get rid of any second thoughts for her if they come up. And i wont forget the fucking condom


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 5:11 pm 
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You didn't think to just have oral sex then? Or pull out and release on her stomach? Maybe I'm just a horn dog , but not having a condom is a pretty bad excuse for getting any type of sexual realease.

Also, quit pigeonholing her into your feelings on a relationship. You're gonna scare her off and make her think twice before sleeping with you.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:21 pm 
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ChaseChase1007 wrote:
You didn't think to just have oral sex then? Or pull out and release on her stomach? Maybe I'm just a horn dog , but not having a condom is a pretty bad excuse for getting any type of sexual realease.

Also, quit pigeonholing her into your feelings on a relationship. You're gonna scare her off and make her think twice before sleeping with you.


Try reading the post before replying stupid shit like this. She deepthroated my cock and went down on me for a good 15 mins before I told her I was gonna go buy a condom. On the drive to the nearest gas station is when she started getting emotional.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 9:33 pm 
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OG_PlMP wrote:
Try reading the post before replying stupid shit like this.


Youre the one who wants help from the forum?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:18 pm 
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OG_PlMP wrote:
ChaseChase1007 wrote:
You didn't think to just have oral sex then? Or pull out and release on her stomach? Maybe I'm just a horn dog , but not having a condom is a pretty bad excuse for getting any type of sexual realease.

Also, quit pigeonholing her into your feelings on a relationship. You're gonna scare her off and make her think twice before sleeping with you.


Try reading the post before replying stupid shit like this. She deepthroated my cock and went down on me for a good 15 mins before I told her I was gonna go buy a condom. On the drive to the nearest gas station is when she started getting emotional.


You need to be better prepared in future. The trick is to lead a girl to sex without mentioning it or mentioning protection. Then don't want to hear it and it ruins the moment, like you discovered.

The lead up to sex should be spontaneous and a mystery to her until your cock is inside her. If you warm her up and then stop it ruins it and the doubts come out.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 6:46 am 
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First of all, I'm surprised no one mentioned this above, but NEVER think of making a girl your lady before you even had sex with her.

And maybe I'm being extra picky but if she went down on you and you didn't have a condom why didn't you go down on her? Trust me making her cum would have made her WAY more likely to go along with the condom pause and even if she doesn't she will remember you made her cum


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 6:56 am 
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anaselies wrote:
Trust me making her cum would have made her WAY more likely to go along with the condom pause and even if she doesn't she will remember you made her cum

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