Question about long term gf


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:14 pm 
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Hi,

Had a quick question, been with gf for around 6 years now, super downs and ups.
Recently im going through some thinking and was wondering, am i just being a bitch or is this woman driving me crazy.
All she does is talks about other people (men and women) who are soo successful and rich and how she wants us to be like them. Her sisters supposed bf, who her sister hasnt met for 6 years until recently, is one of those slobs from super rich family and lives of his father. And now my gf keeps on and on about how he is soo ambitious, despite from the research I have done on him.... hes just one of those typical people that take money from father and "attempt" to start a business without seeing it through and then he has paid some rundown online media outlet to write an article portraying himself to be Elon Musk.

So am i just being a bitch who is getting fed up of hearing these stories non stop, or is this a wrong relationship to be in?

Another quick note, her sister has recently moved in with her, and now I feel like the third wheel. Whenever I portray my concern, all i get back in return omg don't be angry, dont get beserk... I knew you will act like this etc.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:42 pm 
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You're a little bitch who focuses too much on what others are doing rather than focusing on your own ambitions.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 11:08 pm 
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n2thevoid wrote:
You're a little bitch who focuses too much on what others are doing rather than focusing on your own ambitions.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2017 5:19 pm 
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just to add, this gf cheated on me by marrying someone else behind my back (said her family "forced" her) who she divorced after a week marriage...


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:07 am 
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johnnyturner wrote:
just to add, this gf cheated on me by marrying someone else behind my back (said her family "forced" her) who she divorced after a week marriage...

Yet you're with her...


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:04 am 
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johnnyturner wrote:
just to add, this gf cheated on me by marrying someone else behind my back (said her family "forced" her) who she divorced after a week marriage...


She.. cheated on you.. by marrying someone else. I don't think I've ever read a sentence like that before


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:55 pm 
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Guys, I know - im quite down now because i don't know what to do to get my self respect back in my life.
I was known as the alpha in my group, where I did not chase women, just my goals.
Circumstances in my phd and business I was running totally lead to keep staying with the girl who cheated on me - who has now left me... again.
And now I am left with no respect for myself.
How do I recover from this?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:22 am 
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Focus on yourself, your hobbies and your goals. Also learn to enjoy your own company and being alone there is NO REASON to ever settle with being with someone who has cheated on you because being single is always an option


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 6:53 am 
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anaselies wrote:
Focus on yourself, your hobbies and your goals. Also learn to enjoy your own company and being alone there is NO REASON to ever settle with being with someone who has cheated on you because being single is always an option

This.

Also because of your alpha remark and your advanced degrees etc. your ego like many many other men may be telling you ERRONEOUSLY that you're too good to approach girls (your ego and brain may be very afraid of rejection because if 'some girl' were to reject, it could bring on massive cognitive dissonance).

Stop taking things as seriously.

Go out and get your ass rejected over and over. You likely will have a lot of rust to dust off because of the LTR. Who cares, everything is nothing more than a collection of atoms.

Get the fuck out there and meet some women and have some fun. You deserve it.

10 days out of 10 I'd rather daygame coach a 19 year old kid who is out to get laid than a 29 yr old dude who is making $1MM/year simply because the 19 year old kid will actually go out there and put his balls on the line. Generally speaking. This paragraph doesn't relate to the OP's comments but is a general remark.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 5:33 pm 
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oceanx wrote:
anaselies wrote:
Focus on yourself, your hobbies and your goals. Also learn to enjoy your own company and being alone there is NO REASON to ever settle with being with someone who has cheated on you because being single is always an option

This.

Also because of your alpha remark and your advanced degrees etc. your ego like many many other men may be telling you ERRONEOUSLY that you're too good to approach girls (your ego and brain may be very afraid of rejection because if 'some girl' were to reject, it could bring on massive cognitive dissonance).

Stop taking things as seriously.

Go out and get your ass rejected over and over. You likely will have a lot of rust to dust off because of the LTR. Who cares, everything is nothing more than a collection of atoms.

Get the fuck out there and meet some women and have some fun. You deserve it.

10 days out of 10 I'd rather daygame coach a 19 year old kid who is out to get laid than a 29 yr old dude who is making $1MM/year simply because the 19 year old kid will actually go out there and put his balls on the line. Generally speaking. This paragraph doesn't relate to the OP's comments but is a general remark.



I'll wager he'd probably feel more ALIVE getting rejected approaching new women he's attracted to, rather than being DEAD in this awful relationship he's currently in.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:04 pm 
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What are your reasons for staying? Everything I have read says to me that this is detrimental to your life. Are you scared of being alone? It's okay. Starting over is tough but you will appreciate the sigh of relief when you are out of it. Then you can rebuild yourself (which takes some time) and move on.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 4:59 pm 
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I really love the replies you guys have given me.
I am not scared of being alone. Been alone most of my life - this is my first long term relationship.
I obviously do not want to be with her as she is totally breaking me down.
What I am scared of is I allowed this person to take my respect and pride, should have ended it years ago.

Also, the other point is since I have been out of the approaching game, I cannot keep a conversation going with a new woman during an approach. I have been going out, the girls who do give me interest I end up skipping on them.

I think I should just keep away from relationships and get my head together. Will keep approaching girls for chit chat before I turn into a useless and unsociable weirdo.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:01 pm 
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n2thevoid - you are right, at the moment I am looking for thrill and I really have no care of being rejected by girls or anything in life.
So i will definitely go and try approach girls who are definitely a challenge for me - and see how that goes lol.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:58 pm 
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johnnyturner wrote:
n2thevoid - you are right, at the moment I am looking for thrill and I really have no care of being rejected by girls or anything in life.
So i will definitely go and try approach girls who are definitely a challenge for me - and see how that goes lol.


Make yourself available/accessible, just don't force it. Enjoy life.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2017 5:49 am 
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Although I use the term for shorthand, "approach" is the wrong wording.

A guy should smooth into her life like a leaf.

99% of men who approach women do just that - they "approach" them from a stranger paradigm.

You want to behave as though this woman is already your g/f, in a socially calibrated manner. Guess what, she melds right into this paradigm happily.

You'll find it is fun to look into the eyes of a new girl as you set the 100% natural male-female frame that she is elated to buy into.


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