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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 6:13 pm 
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Hi,

1.
I'm (struggling) on online dating. Sometimes women do not reply to my message in a conversation. Do they sometimes not reply on purpose to test you or is it because they are not that into you or is it because of other reasons (playing hard to get, boring conversation, said something wrong, been to needy, not dominant enough,...)?

And if they do that to test you, do they do that to see if you are really interested or is it to look what your reaction will be?

2.
In conversations, sometimes it can happen that I reply only the day after I receive a message. Is that a/the problem or should I reply faster?

Thanks,

Lode
(Belgium)


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:32 am 
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There could be a variety of reasons she hasn't replied back. She could be busy, messaging or profile wasn't great. Can you provide some examples of messages between you and the girl who hasn't responded ?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 5:32 pm 
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I'd say your messages aren't very engaging or flirty or good... But who knows?

Post a few of them - we'll probably be able to tell you fairly quickly...


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:55 pm 
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These are the messages: (sorry for possible mistakes, I'm speaking Dutch)
----------
ME:
Hey, My name is Lode and I'm a selfish dick. I'm 1.75m, nice looking, successful, slim, athletic body, young enough to do it and old enough to do it right. I do not like wasting my time. I am also intelligent, well educated and do not care what anyone else thinks of me. I do what I want when I want, but you knew that probably already.

What I want? It sounds a bit like an advertisement; "Handsome, cultural, intellectual with a big dick and a tireless tongue looking for a pretty woman in a long committed relationship, intending to make her boyfriend / husband insanely jealous with the intention of collecting diamonds, Porsches, boats and prestigious homes. (Multi Orgasm training free of charge included.)"

Sound interesting to you? Please let me know something.

Lode

24-11-2015 15:29

HER:
Perhaps you should work still a bit on your PR work :-p

24-11-2015 16:29

HER:
oops ... kidding huh :-)

24-11-2015 18:08

ME:
I also want to arrange your PR if you wish. I see that your profile is not filled entirely. Success guaranteed. And what element did it for you? Tell me more about you.

24-11-2015 22:12

ME:
Did you already considered my proposal?

25-11-2015 21:47

HER:
:-) I guess I'd better take care of my own PR :-p Does yours work?

26-11-2015 21:19

ME:
I do not know what it is exactly, but my PR is irresistible ..: p I advise you that I'd take care of yours too. You seem to me a nice and accommodating person to talk to. I think you have a big heart and are attractive! I would love to have the opportunity to take you out sometimes for a coffee where we can have some chat :) I just feel like you're a great person and I'd like to know you better. You're welcome for me to answer here, but with sending me a text message you will get your way with it too. This is my number: xxxxxxxxxx. Lode

06-12-2015 15:25

HER:
I don't need additional PR, I do not like sales talk :-) :-) But a chat I certainly do not turn off :-)

06-12-2015 18:34

ME:
You do not know what you are missing! Sales talk, I do not; You always get value for money: p

I like to go to Antwerp center. Is it a little familiar territory for you? What do you do in your spare time?

06-12-2015 23:15

HER:
For my money? I will need to pay for that :-(

I don't really live in Antwerp, only the province ;-) I live close to Mechelen. I know a little Antwerp.
In my free time I do the normal things I go shopping, to the movies, meet friends and have a dog where I spend a lot of time with ;-)
And you?

07-12-2015 10:17

ME:
Quality costs money. If your budget does not permit it for the moment, we can also look for a repayment plan.

And I who thought you were as honest as I am? Have I just made a mistake again .. I just was looking for someone who lives in the center of Antwerp to go out with and now seems you live in Mechelen ..

For the moment I'm reading a lot. I like to go hiking. I also have a dog. It's actually almost my second me. I like mountain biking, nature walks with my dog, jogging for my health ... Maybe I'll look to do an extra hobby.

How come you do not know Antwerp as well? You live close to there though. Where do you usually go?

07-12-2015 19:34

ME:

I think we have a communication problem .. I have not received a message. Was it perhaps a little too explicit that RelatiePlanet has blocked it?

08-12-2015 18:19

HER:
Hehe shame for RP ;-)

I am honest, I never claimed that I live in the city of Antwerp (see profile). For someone from Antwerp city, you'll have to look further :-p

And what breed do you have?

08-12-2015 18:45

ME:
I'm a nigga, see my PR (I think we'd use some code language;) and my dog is a Jack Russel. "I have my hands full with him. It is a small one, weighs 5 kg, but has the character of one of 200 kg. Sloeberke he calls (her), the name says it all ..

The country is good enough too. I am concerned not so much about the place but the companionship. That can already make up a lot. Am I good here on that perspective?

Are there nice places to go to in your area?

08-12-2015 22:24

HER:

Hehe, I also have a jack russell, slightly larger in size, nine kilos ... but keep in mind a big bear ;-) they are all the same

Indeed it's the company that counts :-)

09-12-2015 00:37

ME:
Before the one I have now, we also had a Jack Russell who weighed about 8 kilos, but this one is in character actually superlative.

Yet I'm still not sure if it is good here in terms of good companionship? Maybe we should meet one's so I can check it out if you do not want to tell me :). Send me your number through, so we can chat with each other. What's your name by the way? I still do not know your name.

10: 25

HER:

Who are we? :-)
Positive or negative in character?
Mine is a baby, but as for dog so for the owner ;-)

12: 24

ME:

Me and you?
Same as me.
Unfortunately, I'm not able to give you my opinion yet.

Do you always play so hard to get? I've already put my cards on the table, my name is Lode. What's yours?

Later.. I'll do another bit of PR ..

21: 02
----------

You're welcome to give me some advice or comment.

Thanks!!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 1:38 pm 
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You're investing a lot more than she is over these messages. I would have sent a shorter first message as well. You should maintain a 1:1 ratio in terms of length and frequency. The aim is to get her number instead of giving out your number because it shows too much interest and you're relying on her to take action when it should be you. You should go for the number once you guys agreed to meet up on a date and location and then text her right there and then.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 2:35 pm 
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Your initial message seems cut and pasted... Like you'd send it to every one of your matches. It's not personal at all.

And the previous poster is correct. For every word she types you're typing 10.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 4:04 pm 
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Thanks a lot for the info.

I think I try too hard and seem too needy.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:07 pm 
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There is no way to really tell.

What I do know is that online dating for women can be very overwhelming. They are swarmed with messages from creeps, normal dudes, losers etc. and so at first glance its not easy to separate the wheat from the chaff. Everyone is pretty much grouped in.

Its a numbers game. Don't get too hooked over getting a reply from a hot girl and trying desperately to capitalize off a "catch" . You have to train yourself to catch them and let them go over and over. Do that enough and you'll develop the attitude to be more successful at it.

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