I have decided to close this thread permanently. I know there are going to be a lot of questions as to why I am doing this. There maybe even a few that actually are in a place with their own lives where they can choose to comprehend what I'm about to say.
First off, I want to say Thank You to all those who have helped me over the years via the forum. I am still going to be around as a voice of reason for those who need assistance. It is going to be a very different voice than of that, you have previously heard.
Many of you know that I have dated quite a few women in my years, had several relationships, had my business as a dating coach, worked with few so called masters out there, and was able try and help a great many of you. I am thankful to God and you all for that.
Why I joined the forum?
In short I joined the forum because I believed that I didn't have the necessary social skills to go out and meet women. I felt socially akward, I had trouble communicating, I had trouble asserting myself and approaching, I like most of you had trouble knowing what to say, and how to say it. I felt like I needed help. Through things like the "Game" which is one of the greatest marketing books for PUA of all time, and the VH1 TV show the Pickup Artist I was manipulated into thinking I needed PUA to meet women. Just the same as there are present advertisements on this forum beckoning you to improve your chances with women.
After joining the forums wanting nothing more than a relationship I quickly decided that I wanted more women in my life. I wanted an abundance of women to date and for other things. This was and is the social normal for this community. I was convinced through dating experts, and forum users that I needed to do more.... MORE was always the answer... More approaches, more sets, new lines, new reoutines, more closes, etc.
Sure enough just as some tactics failed like a junkie I was on the forum looking for my next hit. I found it and some of these actually worked. The trust is I didn't know WHY they worked but they did work. The great thing about using tactics such as those with PUA is that manipulation works very well. Whether people are motivated by fear, social pressure, or other things.... the problem is it does work.
By learning to leverage things like social dynamics with demonstrating high values, pre-selection, and other items we use to manipulate girls it would work. Most of the time it'd result in a close once or even twice with the same girl. It almost never resulted in a relationship. Which I think a lot of us figure out here. You see a lot of people asking how to convert a pickup to a relationship.
The truth of the matter is its very hard if not impossible to make a pickup a long term relationship because we didn't start with trust we started with manipulation as the community teaches us.
The problem with manipulation is this... Say you're out at the grocery and you see your favorite bag of cookies for 50% off. Absolutely you are going to buy them because of the great deal. It makes rational sense to do it. The next week at the grocery they are back on the shelf but at the regular price. We don't want to by it because we know they could sell it for 1/2 the regular price, and most people don't. Eventually the companies sales go down so they again put it on sale for 50% off. Even though they've lost some of their original buyers they still get good sales. Although now this company is going to have to constantly offer a better and better manipulation to get you to buy their product.
It's not much different with sales as it is relationships. If we start with manipulation of different factors DHVs, social pressure, told her we have a big cock, know celebrities, have a fancy car, lots of money, have a cool group to hang with, VIP in clubs, group dynamics, etc. it can as we have shown lead to a sale or a close in this case. However, we'll constantly be looking for new sales tactics to keep the same person interested. Because we started with this ultimately its not going to work into a relationship with the buyer or the girl.
The funny thing is to justify the reasons why I girl closed with you they will go back in their own minds and say its cause he looks good, knows famous people, has VIP, etc. However, that is the rational side of their brain telling you that. That is not the emotional side of their brain that makes the decision, these are justifications, not the root cause of the actual decision.
Ever heard someone say, "It just doesn't feel right..." I know I have both with buying goods or trying to get a girl to close. The trust is when faced with a decision we as humans tend to collect data. If we were to buy a TV we might look at picture quality, reviews online, pricing, etc. We'll get all kinds of data to support the decision we are about to make. In this case let's say its to purchase the new Toshiba flat screen.
It just so happens that we call our friend Jon. Jon tells us oh don't get that one get the Samsung Flat Screen its so much better it does this, it does that, you'll love it. Because of our trust we have in our friend Jon, and that emotion what do we do. We go and buy the Samsung despite all our data telling us to buy the Toshiba. Because it's not the "what" that drives our decisions its the "why" behind them. In this case the "what" is the data we collect and the "why" which is responsible for all our decision making is our trust in our friend Jon.
People don't buy "what" you do, they buy "why" you do it. This goes for both purchasing and for people who really buy into you and want to be around you say for dating.
What builds "trust?"
I was on vacation from Tennessee once in Florida where I really didn't know anyone and I was by myself. Needless to say I felt a bit out of place. When I overheard someone talking telling someone they were from Tennesee as well. I told them I was from Tennessee and we instantly had a connection. In fact we hung out later that evening.
We identify with people who share similar ideas and beliefs. In this case it was a person from Tennessee. In those circumstances we both felt alone and out of place but because of that one common thing we had instant "trust and rapport." From there we started building a relationship almost immediately. In fact I'm still friends with that person on Facebook.
During my time with PUA I noticed that the best relationships I ended up in were those that we had commonalties in our believes and values. Because they understand the why behind me, what drives me, what I am about they identified with me and we had a great relationship. Those that bought into the "what" factors of manipulation didn't last long at all.
I kept telling myself "the game" was about building comfort but it was actually deeper than that. If you want women to truly love you, be loyal to you, and endure hardship with you you need trust and communication. They need to identify with your reason for existing, why you get out of bed in the morning, and why they should care. Until you know your own "why" you will be selling the "what" for some time which leads you down the same path to no where over and over again.
My personal "why" is pretty simple. I get a lot of enjoyment out of helping others in life. I love where I work because I get the opportunity to help people with various issues, make them happy, and think of new ways for doing that. When I'm not at work I get to do that through storm chasing and sending needed information to the weather service about storms, some times through being a first responder with medical training, at church, or even on this forum trying to give guidance. That is why I get out of bed in the morning.
You don't win hearts and minds by starting with the "what" factors you win them by expressing to people "why" it is you do it in the first place. There will be some that don't get it and that's okay. The ones that genuinely get that and understand it will build a significant amout of trust with you and a deep relationship in which they are willing to endure physical hardship for what you believe together.
Don't believe me?
A great example in the summer of 1963. 250,000 people at the lawn in Washington DC to hear Dr. King speak. They sent out no invitations, and there was no website to check the date. How do you do that?
Well, Dr. King wasn't the only man in America who was a great speaker. He wasn't the only man in America who suffered in a pre-civil rights movement. In fact some of his ideas were bad, But he had a gift. He didn't go around telling people what needed to change in America, he went around telling people what he believed. I believe... I believe... People who believed what he believed took his cause and made it their own, and they told people about it. And low and behold 250,000 people showed up at the right day in unbearable heat in the summer and the right time to hear him speak. How many showed up for him? Zero. They showed up for themselves...it’s what they believed about America they had them travel to Washington for hours to stand in the sun in Washington for more hours in the middle of August. We followed Dr. King for ourselves not for him. By the way he gave the "I have a dream speech."
Not the "I have a plan speech."
There are leaders and there are those that lead. Leaders get their positions through a position of power...those that lead know how to inspire those around them with what they believe, and they go forth and inspire others.
This forum is dedicated to teaching you new whats to manipulate the "what" and "how" behind to get women to like you. However, until you learn what is your "why" and how to relate that to others you are going to be in and out of relationships because you started with "what" and not the "why" behind it.
Let me suggest when you meet people start with "WHY" and then proceed to the "what" about you. Regardless of all the fancy "what" stuff you do whether you lie about it or actually do it, it means nothing. The "why" behind your actions means everything and is what really inspires people whether its to lead them or to date them.
You decide how you want to get to know people. It has been my pleasure being here and helping you all. It is my hope that I can continue to be here and be a new voice of reason for those looking for actual answers and not just sales gimics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3S ... r_embedded
P.S.> As for those who want to continue Online Gaming I say this. Online Game is no different that being in person, via text, or over the phone. You still have to attract the girl, make her comfortable with you, and escalate. The only difference is you use a computer to talk to her. With that comes certain limitations such as she can't see your body language when you say things, so be careful with things like negs or what could be perceived as insults.
Best of luck to all of you,