Online chat report. Wehre did I fail? Your honest opinion.



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:07 pm 
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Hello. Just had chat with a girl. Weve dated long time ago at summer campus (7 years ago), found her again by accident so pretty much dont know each other . I want you guys to say where did I fail. She has a BF (status) and I was conviniently doing other business while chatting so I posted with delays (if it helps you analyze? i dunno). All of the following is translated from russian (so meanings can be a bit shifted) :
Me - Hi, so many years and you didnt get old(=age), huh?) u still tell other boys you are 14? (because she lied to me about her age to attract me)
(instant)
Her - ahaha))
- no)
- why?))
(small delay=up to 5 mins)
Me - So you look older)) (~more attractive)
(instant)
Her - Hah, well now(=at this age, though she is only 20 now) it makes sense to lie that I am younger ))
( small delay)
Me - Nah) I like older girls)
- Stop. You speak russian now? (when we met earlier she spoke ukrainian only. Just genuine interest, not part of the game)
(almost instant)
Her - Emm) well I can speak both now) I guess I spoke only ukranian earlier )
(instant)
Me - Well I see something out of place(~changed). I was wondering its either your lipstick either your language )
- You study now?
(instant)
Her - Yes, university)
(small delay)
Me - what you studying? )
(instant)
Her - System analysis) and you?
(small delay, following are simultaneous)
Me - Physics. But Im not gonna be physician - I have small company, quests )
Her - Cool))
Me - System analysis? ) Jesus, you like this stuff now? ) (she didnt earlier)
Her -Well after studying this I can do both programmig and analysis) Or economics - but those are boring )
(small delay)
Me - Wow, so you are pretty much IT-girl ) (I genuinly respected that)) )
- And where do you study (tried to find out the city she is in)
(small delay)
Her - Kiev (Bla-bla) Institute ) and you?
(BIG delay)
Me - Hell, Ukraine is just one big village) (cause after all we happened to be in the same city)
- Me at Kiev National University )
- Ok, i gtg) lets meet tomorrow at 7 near (bla-bla) mall)
(small delay)
Her - I see ) (I thought she related to the second of my last 3 messages, not last, but now I dunno)
- Sry, I cant tomorrow)
Me - Well, as you wish) Ok, bye, write me if you wanna chat )
(almost instant)
Her - ;)

So what do you guys think?

EDIT: damn, I think the invitation sucked all of the balls possible. I was in a hurry and rushed it. Anything else?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:44 pm 
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BlackWillyWonka wrote:
Hello. Just had chat with a girl. We dated a long time ago at summer campus (7 years ago), found her again by accident so pretty much don't know each other. I want you guys to say where did I fail. She has a BF (status) and I was conveniently doing other business while chatting so I posted with delays (if it helps you analyze? I dunno). All of the following is translated from Russian (so meanings can be a bit shifted):
Me - Hi, so many years and you didn't get old(=age), huh?) u still tell other boys you are 14? (because she lied to me about her age to attract me)
(instant)
Her - aha ha))
- no)
- why?))
(small delay=up to 5 mins)
Me - So you look older)) (~more attractive)
(instant)
Her - Hah, well now(=at this age, though she is only 20 now) it makes sense to lie that I am younger ))
( small delay)
Me - Nah) I like older girls)
- Stop. You speak Russian now? (when we met earlier she spoke Ukrainian only. Just genuine interest, not part of the game)
(almost instant)
Her - Emm) well I can speak both now) I guess I spoke only Ukrainian earlier )
(instant)
Me - Well I see something out of place(~changed). I was wondering its either your lipstick either your language )
- You study now?
(instant)
Her - Yes, University)
(small delay)
Me - what you studying? )
(instant)
Her - System analysis) and you?
(small delay, following are simultaneous)
Me - Physics. But I'm not gonna be physician - I have small company, quests )
Her - Cool))
Me - System analysis? ) Jesus, you like this stuff now? ) (she didn't earlier)
Her -Well after studying this I can do both programming and analysis) Or economics - but those are boring )
(small delay)
Me - Wow, so you are pretty much IT-girl ) (I genuinely respected that)) )
- And where do you study (tried to find out the city she is in)
(small delay)
Her - Kiev (Bla-blah) Institute ) and you?
(BIG delay)
Me - Hell, Ukraine is just one big village) (cause, after all, we happened to be in the same city)
- Me at Kiev National University )
- Ok, I gtg) lets meet tomorrow at 7 near (blah-blah) mall)
(small delay)
Her - I see ) (I thought she related to the second of my last 3 messages, not last, but now I dunno)
- Sry, I cant tomorrow)
Me - Well, as you wish) Ok, bye, write me if you wanna chat )
(almost instant)
Her - ;)

So what do you guys think?

EDIT: damn, I think the invitation sucked all of the balls possible. I was in a hurry and rushed it. Anything else?


It honestly seems like she was not very interested at any point in the conversation. This could be for any number of reasons but it could be because she didn't feel like she was connecting with you on any level above what she gets standing in line at the grocery store. The conversation seemed far too impersonal.

If you choose to move on I would not compliment her appearance at all, if you think something she is doing is cool that is fine to compliment. Also, ask more open-ended questions to try and get her more engaged with the conversation. Looking at your messages and then looking at hers she was never really engaged in any conversation, mostly just answering your questions. It may just be my morals talking, but trying to pull girls who are in a relationship is really scummy and against the code of manhood.

If you really cant see yourself with any other women, keep in light contact with her until they breakup, which they may not, and then make your move from there. I think you should just move on though brother.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:46 pm 
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BlackWillyWonka wrote:

EDIT: damn, I think the invitation sucked all of the balls possible. I was in a hurry and rushed it. Anything else?



And you would be right.

You went from talking about neutral topics like school, to demanding she hang out with you when you haven't seen her in years. How exactly did you expect that to play out? Do you even have her phone number? And where around the mall would you be meeting her?

This is pretty self explanatory. You also ended it by giving her the ball before you even made a connection; so you're going to have to stand on that. Let her contact you. If not, theres no investment here, and many others.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:18 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2017 11:42 pm
Posts: 7
Your first mistake .. asking her out via chat! Use the phone, call set a date!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 9:49 am 
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Posts: 6
Hmm, I think what you can improve on is, ask more open-end questions.

I felt like all your questions are close ended and she replies with 1 liners a lot, which points out at low interest imo.

"where do you study?"
"What do you study?"
"do you speak "x" now?"


and also invitation felt kinda random haha!


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