New BF Destroyer?

Soma · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 6:24 am Post subject: New BF Destroyer?

I've been reading up on BF destroyers, as this area of game has recently come into play, and I realized that there isn't one for a BF who always brings his friend when they hang out. I am truly sorry if there is one posted and I overlooked it somehow, but here's one I came up with (I used the formats from other BF destroyers, so I don't take credit for this in any way):

It's not that he doesn't want to be alone with you, it's just that he lacks confidence and needs validation from his friend. He is probably insecure with the fact that you can get much better guys, like me. If this does end up happening, his buddy will always be there and have his back. He just needs self-assurance because he is not an emotionally secure person, and you've just got to cut him some slack.

So what do you guys think? Good, bad?

Rye Lee · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:15 am Post subject:

I don't think it would work very well. I wouldn't be so direct about telling her that you're better, you want to be subtle and put it into her subconscious. Also, you're making him sound too much like a good guy that just needs her to be more available to him, not making him sound like he's broken, which is what a boyfriend destroyer usually does. You need to make her see all the bad things about him and why they aren't right for each other, not tell her that she should spend more time with him to understand him.

Soma · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 6:36 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the feedback Rye Lee, being subtle is the hardest part about this for me. I've been thinking about this and rewording it and I think this one will get the job done:

It's not that he doesn't love you, it's just that he is afraid he'll become too attached if he spends time with you alone. He lacks confidence and knows that if you guys ever are alone, you will discover his true inner self; how he really is. He is probably afraid that you can get much better guys and doesn't want to make himself fully available to you, so to compensate he brings his friend around. Maybe having his friend around bolsters his ego by making him look better, who knows. He's not a bad guy, in fact I'm sure he's amazing and buys you flowers all the time and always pays. He is just an emotionally insecure person, and you've just got to cut him some slack.

Better? Worst? I tried to create really high expectations for him at the end, with the flowers and paying, that most guys (at least in my situation) can't live up to.
Should I go on to list, sarcastically, why I wouldn't be a good BF with something like: I would always forget out anniversary, call you ten times a day just to check up on you, blah blah...
What are your guys' thoughts?

Muse · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 6:55 pm Post subject:

I think that second one is much better. The part about him paying and whatnot at the end is much more of my style with BF destroyers. I tend to do similar things building him up(which cause her to think "no...you're completely wrong"). It's all about the subtle change in her attitude towards him while she's with you.

Although, I hate to even acknowledge the BF in the first place. I tend to just let "BF" comments slide, and take the conversation in another direction. I also love to get her imagination going and have her thinking of things she and I could be doing together in the future.

I do base a lot of my BF destroyer stuff off of what I've read on these forums. However it's much more my style to just do things to get her to forget she even has one, things like being that guy who's just "different" and getting her imagination going. I tailor it to the situation and the girl. Give your routine a try and let us know how it goes!

~Muse

Rye Lee · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:04 pm Post subject:

The second one is better, but you should read up on some NLP so that you are better at picking words that trigger certain emotions that you're aiming for, much better though.

I agree with Muse. When I do try to kick a bf out, I don't talk about him as much as possible. I just talk about us and how we connect and let her fall for me, then once she's hooked, maybe I'll go into how he's not fulfilling certain needs, through NLP. I like to make her imagine things we will do in the future, like a year away, or at least a few months. This makes her think of you as a lasting thing in her life.

Muse · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:06 pm Post subject:

Soma · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:04 pm Post subject:

So what are some good NLP words that you can think of for this situation off the top of your head?

gyarados · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:18 am Post subject:

trapped
controlled
dead-end
new
fresh
secret love
excitement
freedom

what so if you bring all these words into it then it will trgger emotions subconciously? Confused

is that what you all are saying

ChocolateThunder · Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:52 pm Post subject:

Gentlemen, can I just butt in to say congratulations on understanding the true intentions and value of the BF Destroyer!

And a well thought out/intelligent discussion this is too.

The funny thing is, a few years ago I was well and truly trapped in an LTR. She was great, lovely, kind, but I just didn't want to be with her. That said, I felt she didn't really deserve the hurt I was about to hit her with (I'd have dropped her like last period Math if she was a bitch, unfortunately for me she was very very sweet). What could I do?

Simple - I ran the BF Destroyer on MY OWN GIRLFRIEND!

Tweaked it here and there to future pace adventure and opportunity being on the other end of change, even if that change can sometimes be a little painful. Couple of days later, as cool as I was she'd 'outgrown me' and needed to move on. Hope we can still be friends etc...

Sweet!

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