Being "The Man"- Charisma, Humor, Presence, Body L


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:01 am 
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The Man

Every once in a while you come across a guy that is "The Man". Every where he walks people seem to know him. It appears as though he owns every place he visits. He owns this Charisma that is indescribable, his style and interaction with you is quite memorable. He leaves you feeling good. His Presence seems to be understood every where he goes. His Body Language speaks Confidence, it shows Confidence in every sense of the word. How he stands, how he sits, how he laughs. He is always smiling and witty in his interaction with you, giving you both permission to laugh and smile. His inner game is unquestionably strong and you just in some ways want to meet him. He can effortlessly join a conversation, and then be invited into the conversation.

This is something we have a very difficult time becoming. Something few of us think it is possible. Some believe that you are born with it or you aren't. That is absolutely not true, these guys weren't born popular. They gained some personality traits through out life for what ever reason but that does not mean they can't add more traits to themselves. Anyone can become "The Man". It takes effort and commitment, this is something where you may be a little further ahead because you own certain personality traits. In fact everyone owns more than a few traits that could help you become "The Man".

Who do you know that seems to be "The Man"? What are they like? When you go to a club or a bar do you see a guy that seemed to consume a area? His presence unavoidable to notice.

Charisma is something we think when we think of someone who is "the Man" is some one who has Charisma. They have this divine gift of persuasion and influence over most people. Clinton & Obama are guys that have amazing Charisma. They used it to get elected. They caught you and brought you in and made you feel good some how.

Both gentleman had rhythmic speaking with their tone. They had a powerful presence even before they were thought about for president. They build a comfort level and make you feel good even without ever meeting them. Charisma is a word we use that is really difficult to describe, but you always know when someone has it.

It seems as though you are the only two when you are talking. You seem to build Rapport and Comfort with them effortlessly. They are Witty and Funny. They just leave you feeling good. A bad person can have some serious Charisma unfortunately. I mean think about how many terrible people had great Charisma. Manson was considered quite Charismatic which to me is unbelievable.

They seem to be Different. They look for reasons to have individuality. They Demonstrate Value easily and with just their appearance. They differentiate you, they make you feel comfortable, and they appear to make you feel like you are the most important person in the room. We will get into many tactics on how to influence and and do all of these things.

Inner Game

I don't think you can progress far with out gaining inner game so this will be where I start. In order for you to gain anything you have to gain Inner Game. In order for you to keep that Body Language and Presence everywhere you go you must be able to have Confidence.

Write down every compliment you have ever heard. Read them every day. Every time you get a compliment write it down.

People who have Charisma make everyone feel good. Handing other people compliments helps, I recommend complimenting accessories, style, or character(not looks). It makes you more confident if you can endorse the strengths of others. Always remember if you make everyone around you feel good than it is easier for you to feel good and confident. Part of charisma is accepting your humiliation while making everyone feel good. Every insult I get I blow out of proportion while accepting them and laughing at it in front and at the person. Life is truly funny, remember “don't take life so seriously you will never get out of it alive“.

This is one of my favorites. Write down 100 things you like or love about your self or as many as you can, whether it is your hair, smile, laugh, eyes, knowledge, friends, family, intelligence, sense of humor, add more every day and read them every day. When you do these types of things like focus on how great you are rather than your negatives it will lift your confidence tremendously. I would say that it is very simple just find out what you like/love about yourself and expand it. You may not realize how great a person you are until you expect yourself to be great through what you love of yourself.

These things can make you confident in a hurry because when you read all the compliments you have been given it gives you validation. When you read all the things you love about yourself it will become ingrained in your mind. You are this guy other people have said it about and you are this guy who loves a lot about yourself.

I actually wrote it across my mirror, every time I see me, I see a guy who has compliments written all over him. Things I love about me, things said about me.

Confidence is about nothing more than self love. Comfortable with who you are and love who you are. Every where you go you should say I am “The Man” . Visualizing exercises are very good, every day when you wake up see who you want to be. Every time you go to sleep doze off thinking of being “The Man“. Through out the day think of yourself as “The Man“. Soon enough you will be him. There are some good NLP tactics to helping change your mind about yourself.

What I want you to do is go lay down and think of this, this can and should be done absolutely everyday.

I want you to imagine you go into a room a smooth room where you can see beautiful women. Great entertainment, I mean everything is how you want it. The tables are in perfect position and the mood is perfect. Then you see this You, he is Confident, he has Presence, he has Style, he has Witt, he is “The Man“. People all around him enjoying his presence and women are sending him signals from everywhere. This confident You is chatting with beautiful women. You picture him dressed right. Now you walk toward him. Now you walk up behind him unnoticed, you listen in on him and how confidently he speaks. Does he look Witty and Happy? Now you step up behind him and walk inside of this confident you. What is it like to be this Confident You? How does it feel in your shoulders? How does it feel to have these confident wide shoulders? How high is your head? Does your chin feel stable and parallel with the ground? Your body movement is welcoming and Alpha. How wide is that stance? Doesn’t that dominant Alpha stance feel good. How do your arms feel? Do they swing welcoming and confident? How does it feel to be able to Smile at everything? Does it feel amazing, great, or maybe even phenomenal? How does it feel when you talk? What is your tone like? Is it rhythmic and smooth? Unthreatening and Comforting? You can feel this way when ever you want because it truly is you. So now you know what it is like to be “The Man”. Every single night you should repeat this for the next 3 weeks, it would do even more good to do this forever. And every day through out the day imagine you are this guy and hold yourself that way.

These are tactics I have used to build my confidence there are tons of books on the subject and I recommend you find one that suits yourself. But this is something that can give you a lot of confidence and you should definitely use it. Look for other tactics to build your Confidence. It is always good to use all sorts of different tactics to help you realize NOBODY IS BETTER THAN YOU. YOU ARE AS GOOD AS ANYONE IN THIS WORLD. Girls would be lucky to gain someone with your personality traits is the realization you are adopting now. Do not adopt the attitude you are better than anyone but that You are as good as anyone.


I think this one of the greatest ways to build confidence. There is a lot to come to terms with about yourself, the majority of us focus on our flaws, we don't realize how much we have going for us. Every person is unique and has something interesting about them. Every person has lots of great qualities. It doesn't mean that you aren't as good as someone with what ever advantage. A lot of time we focus on our flaws, most of us focus on our physical attributes, in reality people(men and women) would rather have the company of a fun ugly person than a obnoxious good looking person. Our physical attributes mean very little to our company after thirty seconds, it is our character that will make the moment, the things that makes us interesting that make us fun. Don't take this to mean you shouldn't dress well or groom yourself, both of those things will give you even more confidence, your presentation of yourself is very important.

I give away a lot of compliments every day(to men and women) and working in grocery I see a lot of people, I receive just as many or more compliments. Just make sure you don't compliment their physical attributes like everyone else does, their shirt, skirt, bracelet, glasses(this one is huge), necklace, dress, shoes, hair, things that are choices that they make, parts of their personality and presentation. I'd recommend finding ways to compliment others so it sounds witty and less generic. I like, that is cool, sweet, etc. I love works more often than any of the generalities.

Those are smooth ground grippers(kicks, floor lovers, etc. rather than shoes).
That is a slick necklace.
Quality decision on selecting those earrings.
Your threads are nasty smooth.
That was a good moment when you selected those glasses.

I give a lot of compliments that are stunning but will make them turn red rather than blow you off. A lot of people talk about negs, but I don't neg as hard, I am rather playful. It is the way I say my compliments that make me different it also helps you do back handed compliments easier. It is always good when everyone feels good around you, you also naturally become the Alphas, your comfortable and everyone is comfortable. Complimenting Alphas works very well in disarming them, they like you now, you endorse their strengths and play cool while at the same time show it doesn't mean much, your not scared of their best feature.

When you compliment someone it shouldn't be a big deal, there is a lot to be said about a great compliment. I have never been shut down for saying your earrings are smooth. Those are some smooth ground grippers. Look at you little mama togged out to the bricks. They just need to realize you give everyone compliments it is not a big deal.

Remember the more compliments you will send out the more you will receive. I compliment a necklace half the time I get a compliment back on mine, I wear an Aztec calendar medallion every where I go.

To me this is the biggest part of getting confidence is giving compliments, because you receive so many in return. It is important however to be able to just say thank you, that is very nice of you, remember you will be getting compliments all the time. Receiving compliments should make you happy but as a confident human you know that about your self, they just gave you some validation. Just because someone gives you a compliment doesn't mean you owe them one. A confident person knows how to receive a compliment

I have got some ridiculous compliments ones that have literally scared the hell out of me. One lady told me(more than one has said something similar) when ever I am having a bad day if your here and I come in you make me feel better automatically. That to me was almost like pressure to be that guy, who I didn't try to be. Another one said everyone in the store can be happier when you are here. I get compliments every day, some of them are so tremendous both of those struck me as the best I have ever received. Compliments on other things are awesome but I mean that is to me the best compliment you can ever receive, that is saying you are a tremendous human being, and what person shouldn't enjoy your company? What girl wouldn't be lucky to date a guy that is like that? How could that not boost your confidence? All because I consistently hand out compliments, what you give is what you will receive.

Someone who has charisma makes people around them feel good, show they are human just like them. A charismatic person is always on level with the person/people they are talking to, they are never better.

Sorry but to me handing compliments out is more important than the rest of the things I said because you receive validation from everyone around you. The fact that you did the other things helps reinforce all of those things. You inscribed all those compliments, you inscribed everything you like/love about yourself, you reconfirm all of this when you read it.

More Later…. This will be a very long topic. And I recommend anyone join in and add or critique my concepts. Please please ask questions.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 4:16 am 
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just needs practice though


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:16 am 
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Individuality

You guys need to have some individuality. You need to be you. That is how it is. Be an individual, just because a shirt looks cool on someone else doesn't mean you will look cool in it. There needs to be some individuality all around. From style to personality to diction. You guys need to stand out. "The Man" is never some one who is his just like everyone else. They have something that makes them stand out.

You are a Billboard

Ok dress attire is very important to Presence. You want to stand out and be noticed. This is how you are representing yourself. You are saying look at this smooth shirt or I just bought my kicks (we have all wore our brand new kicks and loved the compliments). While I don’t believe you have to be dressed in $500 jeans (in fact I refuse to pay more than $30), it certainly shows a women that you are high value. You are communicating your value through both your body language and your dress attire. I am not at all saying to spend a lot on how you dress. Most shirts I purchase are $20 bucks or less and that is rare when I spend that much. The point is to take care of your self.

Please realize that everywhere you go you represent yourself in a way. You chose the clothes you are wearing, you chose the shoes, the pants, the shirt, accessories and this is how you choose to represent you. There are things that you can do to attract attention. Based on just what you wear you can stand out a bit. A lot of people like to pea cock. This is how they choose to represent themselves.

I am not a big fan of pea cocking. I choose to wear shirts other than black as often as possible, but that is as far as that goes. A button up shirt with long sleeves looks far better than t-shirt just about every time. A long sleeve shirt looks better than a short sleeve most times. It is also good to wear a color that stands out. Be careful not to over do it, know what you can work guys.

You are presenting yourself that way. Everyone wears black shirts I choose to stand out by not wearing black. Note: If you go to Vegas don’t wear a pin stripe shirt if you want to stand out, it is the plaid and pin stripe capital of the world, every single person has pin stripe or plaid on at least it seemed like it.

Colors

Everyone wears black shirts I choose to stand out by not wearing black. Color scheme is huge man. If you have certain skin tone, or certain color eyes that work well together use it. In my particular case I like to wear olive green, grey, and purple, I happen to have hazel eyes and a darker skin tone so it looks solid. You should find out what makes you look best. Find out what compliments you well.

If you are having trouble figure it out go online and find what matches your eyes, your skin tone, hair, style. Use a female or gay man to help find you colors. They will help you immensely. They will be pretty honest even if it is a family member they should be able to help you with color scheme.

Gidgets

Accessories to me are good as well. I am not a ring wearer and I only wear one specific necklace (an Aztec calendar medallion, it means a lot to me) and a couple of bracelets. They are both 6 dollar bracelets. One has writing (New Hampshire Motto: “Live free or DIE”) and the other is literally just beads shaped like Mickey Mouse’s head. These things are small but they have helped me get into a lot of conversations. A girl makes fun of my bracelet(it does look girly) I show her it is Mickey Mouse then all of a sudden I am telling them I got it at Disney Land and a solid conversation is started. The point of is to attract attention. Or just give them a reason to talk to you, “that is a cool necklace” (this one happens almost every single day).

I get my stuff on trips, so if it is mentioned than I can tell them I got it here and I did this, normally they will be able to relate on some level or you can educate them.

Ground Grippers

Kicks are something you should sport with taste guys. What ever kind of shoe fits the style you dress find some smooth shoes for that style. Shoes are something girls notice, I promise if you think sporting some crappy shoes with some $100 jeans makes you look good think again. One of the kids I work with was complaining no girls liked him, I straight told him look at the way you dress, starting with his dilapidated shoes. His excuse I want a girl who likes me for who I am, I explained to him you have to pass the first screening. If a girl thinks you’re a hobo you will not be given the time of day. I don’t care how charismatic you are, how handsome you are, how charming you are, if you don’t dress decent no girl (stranger) will give you the time of day. If a girl already likes you obviously you have a lot more wiggle room.

These aren’t things all of you should do (or need to) I was just clueing you guys into what I do.

Note: I am reusing some of my old posts, most of them slightly modified.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:52 am 
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Diction

Your word choice can give you value. In fact it should give you value. There are some thoughts I have on it. I am sure that most of you can add too, in fact I would really appreciate you guys doing so.

It is very obvious that your language should not be above your audience and I am not saying to use language that will make the other person feel embarrassed or small. Using different styles of language can make you stand out. You become far more appealing if you state things differently. None of the statements I mention or words I stated wouldn't be known by anyone. You should never use abstract words that no one uses or understands, I am not saying that at all. I consistently get asked about my diction but that is a conversation piece in it's self.

When I speak I normally have a smile on my face, so people realize I am merely a goofy kid. If I say something that makes me sound arrogant I say "sorry I am arrogant". In 9 out of 10 cases they so "no you are not". If you are alone with a girl you need to match her tone quite a bit more , but if you are with someone and making an impression on them early in the conversation in order to not get ex nayed so early in the conversation language can help.

You are not out to sound arrogant so much as hold their attention by saying things differently than other gentlemen that come up to talk to them. Certain words help hold their attention more, that is all I am saying. Your goal in any conversation is not to ask the same question in the same way as the last 10 guys that have come up to talk to her. You want to stand out by just having character. My diction is a little different than others and I like that I stand out verbally. I feel that is a big part of natural game.

This is about being "The Man" not about demonstrating through lies or made up moments. Unusual word usage shows your mind works differently. If you want to be like every other AFC why not just not change anything and let yourself go by luck. If you are just like every other guy you will get what every other guy gets. Language is an easy way to make yourself stand out and add value through intellect.

No one seems to select diction as a focal point of Charisma. To me this can be the most important part of being "The Man", outside of body language. Every one knows if you want to be “The Man” you want to stand out. In a conversation there are a ton of words that will catch attention and make some one more interested in having a conversation with you.

This is like that old don't go tell a girl "Wow! Your beautiful", you will be the creeper that she talks about later. However if you walked up and said "Quality selection on the bracelet, I truly appreciate it. Where did you get it?" you will evoke far more conversation out of her. It is what you choose to say. How you say things is very important, it will increase your chances tremendously if you state things different. You can say "Wow, I can't believe he did that what an idiot"(makes you seem negative) or "Righteous, that gentlemen sure demonstrated his intellect", which do you think sounds more elegant and makes you sound better? Obviously the latter has more style and interest in it, it also sounds funnier. You don't want to sound arrogant and pompous, which is why tone is very important. Speaking with a smile will make everything you say sound better, less threatening. You can get away with saying a lot more ruthless things when you speak with a smile.

If you want to come across as different in a conversation it is a good idea to change up the words you use. Everyone says thank you, I say appreciate you, I will joking say Love you, or Much appreciation. Your words should develop a style and content particular to you.
If you study different eras of word usage you can use them pretty easily and stand out. Jive- Look at you lil mama togged out to the bricks. If you can develop a different tone for you statements. I.E. How are things? I say Deeeecent instead of Good!. Instead of saying "you're joking", I say "I call shenanigans".

It is always a good idea to expand your language. Expand what words mean what and how you use them. Oh man that is Rough(cool). Smooth cogs(nice glasses). Oh man that place is Nasty(awesome).

How are you?- Pheeee-Nomenal, Fantastic, Tremendous. Always good. Great you know just Living the dream. Kopascetic, Smooth.
What are you crazy lil kids doing?
Come on now lil kid.

Using a wider variety of words just makes you come across as more intelligent. You demonstrate value through intellect. Using words that stand out along with a good tone will make you far more intriguing.

You make me uncomfortable.
Are you consistent with this behavior?
Don't act better than me.
Don't judge me.
I am judging you already.
I highly recommend it.
Always a pleasure.
I enjoy your presence immensely.
That is entertaining.
Continue.
I am infatuated with blank.
What an experience?
How was that experience?
What kind of pish posh is this?/That is pish posh.
That was quite the demonstration(watching someones body language in a comical manner).
That is Hi-Larius.
That was (so) funny. - Still is.
Foiled again.
That was extraordinary.
That doesn't sound to appealing.
Was that really necessary?
Wow that was a mastercard commercial/priceless.
Oh man your life's not complete until.... some ridiculously stupid statement.
That can't be natural(not talking about body parts guys).

You need to find words and expand your language so that your conversation keeps them aware, saying that's pretty cool is a lot worse than saying that is insanity, gnarley, nasty, fan-tastic, I am a fan, sexy deal, just be creative. Study words guys, there are a lot of words that can seriously open up minds. Words that can remind them of things, perhaps something they want to talk about.

If you know anymore great words that catch attention, list them in a sentence show an example. I will admit some of these are cliche but if you use cliche in an unexpected exchange of words you will catch her attention.

Go over some of the regular lines you use I guarantee you have statements with words that stand out. If you say "so what are you up to tonight?" you sound like everyone else who has spoken to them. If you say "What kind of shenanigans are you guys into tonight?" you will likely gain a smile and more insight into there night.

You'd be surprised how much diction can change the value of content. If you don't think that diction can add value I don't think you understand the power of influence and persuasion. For instance if you ask "Can I go ahead of you in the bathroom?" with a long line your less likely to get ahead than if you say "Can I go ahead of you in line because my wife and kid are outside". You will likely have a better shot at getting to the front, the magic word being “because”.

I just think you can say things in a different way separating yourself from the average gentlemen that walks up to your particular target. I guarantee you become more intriguing if you use a wider diction and variety of words while telling your stories.

Every one has to have fun with your language patterns or else you can look like an arrogant douche bag, but it is the same concept as cock funny, don't overstep your bounds. You don't want to sound like an arrogant douche bag. There just needs to be style, difference, and tone to make you sound different than others. Be careful not to be the guy who uses generic statements.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:27 pm 
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This stuff is great, just great! You are a brilliant person and I agree the key to living is giving, ie giving compliments or giving value etc. The more I give to other people the more I get back, the better things go, the more people are willing to help me. Its not easy to understand at first unless you have really tried, its as if there is a universal law of what you give, you get. I used to think that was just a cliche but the moment I focussed on not just myself, but other people too, things started to improve rapidly like a snowball effect. I walk in to situations now and think what can I contribute? How can I make this persons day better? How can I add fun to this group of people? I don't have the best game in the world but from this alone, I am a far more attractive person than I have ever been. Thanks for your wicked post I am taking your tips on improving my confidence because when I used to go out gaming a year ago, even though i had many good successes, my inner game held me back. My low self esteem made me believe I wasn't worthy or I didn't deserve it, which in turn reflected in my body language and micro movements, which is subconciously picked up by the girl and my attraction decreased. With charisma you are always the source of good feelings and good energy, and this is so contagious! Any way dude, thanks for your effort in writing a great post.

Peace 8)

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:59 am 
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Daydreamer88 wrote:
This stuff is great, just great! You are a brilliant person and I agree the key to living is giving, ie giving compliments or giving value etc. The more I give to other people the more I get back, the better things go, the more people are willing to help me. Its not easy to understand at first unless you have really tried, its as if there is a universal law of what you give, you get. I used to think that was just a cliche but the moment I focussed on not just myself, but other people too, things started to improve rapidly like a snowball effect. I walk in to situations now and think what can I contribute? How can I make this persons day better? How can I add fun to this group of people? I don't have the best game in the world but from this alone, I am a far more attractive person than I have ever been. Thanks for your wicked post I am taking your tips on improving my confidence because when I used to go out gaming a year ago, even though i had many good successes, my inner game held me back. My low self esteem made me believe I wasn't worthy or I didn't deserve it, which in turn reflected in my body language and micro movements, which is subconciously picked up by the girl and my attraction decreased. With charisma you are always the source of good feelings and good energy, and this is so contagious! Any way dude, thanks for your effort in writing a great post.

Peace 8)




Thanks for the love and it is no worries. I am just getting started on this thread. My Body Language thread was a solid read(or some people seem to appreciate it) as well if you want to check that out, I think a bit of those concepts from that thread will be put into this as well. I still have a little more to add to that thread, not that it will ever be complete, but I will start asking for more questions and stories in that thread.

This thread will probably take me a couple of months to finish. Might be a good idea to tune into the thread here and there. I am obviously barely getting started on this one. There is a lot I will need to cover through out this thread and if you ever want to add anything feel free. If you have any questions just go ahead and ask.

Yes and always be a giving person. If you are gracious towards others than other people will be gracious toward you. I always give with no expectations of receiving anything. I make an attempt to make every single interaction I am in with someone to be good. I try to make every person around me feel good.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 9:28 am 
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Charisma

Ok I started adding things early on about Inner Game, Style, and Diction. Those are things I feel everyone should know about even before they start into Charisma. I have yet to break down the full idea of Charisma. This is something as already said that can't necessarily be described but we most definitely know when someone has this divine gift of persuasion.

Let's break down what a person who has Charisma does. We know that they leave you feeling great. So the question becomes how do you leave everyone feeling great?

Well there are some things that a person with Charisma does with everyone they meet.

Individuality

They always have individuality. They differentiate themselves from everyone. That is something I have already wrote about. They have something that differentiates them from others. That is why I started with Inner Game, Style, and Diction, they all represent a portion of Presence.

Confidence is something most people lack. That alone allows you to stand out all on it's own. Confidence allows you to stand in a way that lets you stand out. Your Body Language tells everyone that you are someone.

Style allows you to show your Individuality but also you Presence, everyone knows Style is how you represent yourself. It can make you a far more attractive person. If you dress well and take care of yourself you can become more attractive just by grooming yourself well. I have seen a man in suit look powerful, the day before he was shoeless and had a holy shirt that made him look like a bum.

Diction allows you to demonstrate Intellect, something that not only demonstrates Value but also differentiates you. Certain words just captivate, they provide the verbal fireworks. They capture your attention. You listen because you don't know what they will say or how they will say it. Their word choice seems to intrigue others and demonstrate intellect.

Rapport

The next thing they seem to have is a natural ability to build Rapport. They can without thought find common ground to relate to someone. Some one with Charisma has the ability to give you a natural comfort and familiarity. Before you know it you are telling a stranger more about you than you ever thought you would. They seem like a close friend and you have already made plans with them and invited them places.

This person can sit there with you for five minutes and will not only make you feel good, but they find a way to make you feel as if you belong. Where ever you guys are together the phrases consist say we or us. You guys are now part of the same group.

By the time they are done you gave them a feel of belonging into your world or that you belong to theirs. There is a sense of belonging where ever they are. You don’t ever feel alone with them, though you may feel that in this particular conversation you are the only two in the world there is still the two of you.

Humility

Someone with Charisma show Humility. They are not afraid to confront their faults. This is one of the reasons they are so fun They make of themselves quite often. They never project themselves as better than you. In fact they are more than willing to show humility. I consistently make fun of myself. If I say something arrogant I will call myself on it.

Show you are human. You need to have open Body Language, it needs to be non-threatening. Their Body Language shows you they are not just Confident but that they are approachable. Conversation with them is easy, unoffensive, and fun. They are always at your level and never above it.

Vulnerability is something he is willing to show. I was pure pressuring someone into doing something as a joke(cliff diving), when I was confronted I merely stated that I am a sissy. Not really much of a doer.

Willing to Learn

People with Charisma don't just hear you, they don't just listen to you. They learn about you. They genuinely ask how you are doing. They want to know what your passion is. They want to know what you love.

One of the easiest ways to have someone feel good in a conversation is to listen to them. I don't just like to listen, I prefer to learn about them. Which to me is quite a bit different.

You should always be very inquisitive about their passion. Don't just learn about them, Learn from them. I have learned a lot in regular conversations with people where I choose to not just listen but to learn from them. I have learned a lot from random people that have made it even easier to have a conversation with similar interests.

Humor

Someone with Charisma seem to have their finer comical moments. They can make something funny that seems boring or regular. They can take a situation and make it funny even if it is normal.

Someone with Charisma makes a uncomfortable situation very comfortable with merely being able to make people laugh. Laughter is a powerful weapon that makes everyone feel good. Humor is the most difficult thing for me to explain. I was blessed with natural wit, contagious laugh, and the ability to be funny.

Make them Feel Like Somebody

When you Learn about someone, you should make them feel like Somebody. They need to feel as though you have differentiated this conversation from any other one you have. Pay total and complete attention to the person.

Make Strong Eye Contact. Let them feel as though they are the only person in the room when you are speaking with them. They should feel as though they are not just another person but that they are Somebody.

Conversation

A natural flowing conversation is one of the more difficult things to master. It is worth learning, it pays off in dividends. This is something you should master not for Pick Up’s sake but just to learn to mingle with people. Conversation has to be mastered. You have to be able to listen and be clued into the details of the situation.

It is always nice being able to have a conversation with someone who can just actively listen allow the conversation to happen. You can steer it all you want, but if you want to have a conversation where people are apart of it you need to be able to flow with it. This is something that had a nice little thread going. I have some other things I would like to add to it, but I will be using a few of the concepts from that particular thread when I go into this further.

Say Things Properly

There is a diplomatic way to say things, and there is the blunt trauma of the truth. If you can turn around a negative experience and make them feel good about it, than you are not only Charismatic but amazing.

A good instance of this is me and a friend got it into because he was told of some statements I made about him with some other friends. These were statements they agreed on and that I would say straight to his face, I don’t say anything I wouldn’t state to their face. This gentlemen while very nice has a ways to grow up, he happens to be very creepy in his approach to women. A very touchy-feely person, who is also closed minded, and arrogant tends to be very difficult to deal with at a lot of moments in time. I love the kid to death, but man is he consistently a dumb ass.

So when he confronted me I said, “Every time I have ever talked bad about you I started with ‘I love Bla Bla but’”. As he continued to attack me I told him that I didn’t agree with his BEHAVIOR. I let him know that some of the things he did were not kosher. The KEY: I did not commented on him as a person but rather his Behavior. I proceeded to let him know about all of the good times we have had. I than asked him why I would want to spend my New Years with him if I didn’t like him.

Leadership

Charismatic people tend to say things and people listen to them. Their body language speaks leadership and the fact that you are fearless in leading is why people follow them. They expect people to follow them and because they are confident in this belief people do what they are told. There are different leaderships some lead by example(doing), some lead by saying, and some lead by simple leading(starting a task than asking for assistance).

They tend to lead and manage people with little effort. Leadership and management is something can be taught, but more often than not it is a natural gift. Something I learned to do by becoming a manager at a ripe old age of 22. This is something I suggest everyone learn anyways. Whenever I see potential in someone who works under me I teach them to Lead.

The vast majority of people are sheep. The rest are wolves and Shepperds. If you want to stand out you will be a Sheppard. I prefer to never be the wolf, I don’t like to feast on the innocent. I do love to lead. Sheppards tend to lead naturally. This is what a Charismatic person does, they stand out by leading.

They have learned to lead by influencing and persuading the population. Leadership is exactly this. There is a lot to leadership, 1000s and 1000s of books have been written on it and that is something we will definitely spend more than a few posts explaining.

Summing it Up

These are the basics of Charisma. There are tons more that they do, but every single person with Charisma has these qualities. These are things that they do without thought or effort. Things you will consciously change to become “The Man”, a Charismatic, Funny, person with Presence that seems as if they are famous.

There will obviously be a LOT MORE later….

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 10:10 am 
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Body Language

Ok guys when it comes to Body Language, I don't just want you to stand like you are Confident, I want you to stand like your "The Man", like your Famous, like your a Legend. This is something no one does. We focus on doing so many things and on top of that we focus on not doing even more.

You guys need to stop thinking about walking around confident. Just walk around like your "The Man". You need to stop saying well I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that. Who cares, just be who you are. Everyone is always trying to be someone else. Be yourself because you are "The Man".

Ok guys when you are walking around like you are "The Man" you should do a few things to show who you are, The Man.

Pull your scapulas as close together as possible.
Keep your shoulders out while you are doing this (impossible to avoid).
Push your chest out.
Keep your chin up.
Keep great posture (surprisingly attractive feature).
Make consistent eye contact and smile at strangers (all of them).
Smile a lot.
Keep your eyes up.

Pretty much Straight up Copy Paste from my Body Language thread:

Anatomical is the perfect alpha stance. How you carry yourself will make you feel the way you do. Standing unconfident for a lot of people makes you unconfident. Standing confident makes you feel confident. Your standing in that way because it is comfortable to your mood. So if you change your stance and your shoulders you should actually end up becoming confident. Your body language can change your mood if you adjust it.

Generally the standard alpha pose is to have a wide stance(territorial) with confident shoulders. You almost want to pull your scapula s together, it will push your chest out. Chin should always be up, DON'T tuck your head into your neck/shoulders.

Do not slouch you should have good posture, it is an incredibly attractive natural feature. Sounds like Mom talking but it is true to walk with good posture. Good posture just makes you look like a somebody, and feel like somebody. It adds a look of youth, which looks healthy for any young mate. Youth is a sign of fertility and good posture represents both.

While you do this walk with your chin up, don't put your eyes down to the ground when your walking, how many times have you seen an alpha guys staring at the ground walking? NEVER. So why would you who is "The Man" look at the ground while you walk? Hiding your eyes from them in an effort to hide yourself doesn't work. Make eye with people contact while you walk, you are not afraid of anyone. No one is better than you and you can convey that through your body language.

Some men, this is a very western orientated style, will grab their belt buckle with their thumb, letting their thumbs sit on the belt letting your fingers go down basically framing your junk. Lots of Westerns have this through out their movies. Clint Eastwood, John Wayne both did this a ton in their movies. I occasionally stand like this, if I am uncomfortable or unconfident doing this helps me feel more confident. Sometimes I do just stand like that. Sticking your hands in your pockets with your thumbs out is similar but not nearly as pronounced.

Most of being "The Man" in body language is in the shoulders, stance, and head. The rest is purely the mindset, walk confidently, stand confidently, sit confidently. Don't worry about other people that is why we are unconfident we worry far to much about some strangers opinion of us that in all likelihood will never make any splash in our lives.

Your arms should be fluid, don't try to be fluid because you will look awkward and weird, just be fluid, be yourself. I am not a fan of crossing your arms, it is very alpha but it can come across as unfriendly and definitely not welcoming. If you want to be "The Man" you better be friendly and welcoming. I am usually pretty loose, I put my arms out friendly with open arms. My palms are normally facing out.

Every time you go through a door way. Every time you are standing. When you are home. At work. Anywhere. Practice putting your shoulders straight out by pulling your scapulas together, keep your chest out. Walk everywhere with your chin up not snooty(don't look down your nose at people), just parallel with the ground. Act like your the man everywhere you go. When your home you don't slouch as much, I promise, but when you are out you are not comfortable and your body language probably speaks volumes. This is going to take a lot of conscious effort, it will not come naturally. When your just standing have your feet shoulder width apart. I am literal when I say practice. You can't just say I will do it, it isn't easy to change your body language, you have to consciously do it until it is habit.

This how you should stand, sit, walk, and talk. You need to walk around with your Body Language speaking Presence, Value, and Confidence. It should say that you are "The Man", you are somebody. Walk around like you own everywhere you go, you own your space where ever you are.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:27 pm 
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Wow. This is some seriously good stuff. Trust me I can see the confidence dripping off in your words as you type them.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:11 pm 
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Definitely great stuff. Most of this are things that I've been thinking about but have not entirely internalized yet. Sometimes, especially when I arrive to a party and introduce myself to everyone at the party, I really feel like I'm The Man, but sometimes I can just lose it after a while. I think I just lose focus.

Yesterday, I was at this party, and I didn't know anyone except for the hostess. I immediately felt like I owned the place. I introduced myself jokingly to the first person I met saying "Hi' I'm that Mungo guy that you've all been waiting for, you can start the party now", in a way that everyone could hear it. Then I introduced myself to everyone, giving each a short comment, often humorous, spoken in a way that everyone could hear it. In an instant, I was the center of attention at the party, and everyone wanted to hang out with me for the rest of the night. The hostess overflowing me with compliments certainly didn't hurt either.

Pity there weren't any single HBs there, but I had heaps of fun and got some really good practice and an inner-game boost.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 9:31 pm 
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Mungo wrote:
Definitely great stuff. Most of this are things that I've been thinking about but have not entirely internalized yet. Sometimes, especially when I arrive to a party and introduce myself to everyone at the party, I really feel like I'm The Man, but sometimes I can just lose it after a while. I think I just lose focus.

Yesterday, I was at this party, and I didn't know anyone except for the hostess. I immediately felt like I owned the place. I introduced myself jokingly to the first person I met saying "Hi' I'm that Mungo guy that you've all been waiting for, you can start the party now", in a way that everyone could hear it. Then I introduced myself to everyone, giving each a short comment, often humorous, spoken in a way that everyone could hear it. In an instant, I was the center of attention at the party, and everyone wanted to hang out with me for the rest of the night. The hostess overflowing me with compliments certainly didn't hurt either.

Pity there weren't any single HBs there, but I had heaps of fun and got some really good practice and an inner-game boost.


Nice well done my friend. Well done on the annunciation. Like the fact that you built rapport with everyone. Super impressive it is very difficult to do. Wait until this will all be habit for you. No effort put forth to do these things. You will be able to dissect the environment and start up a funny conversation based only off observation.

At a certain point at this rate you will be well known by so many people you won't have to introduce yourself at all, strangers will introduce themselves. Now I am confident all over the place and have people introduce themselves even in different states, countries, and environments where I don't know anyone.

Nice to know this stuff is effective.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 11:12 pm 
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Thank you.

I think that I should let you know that I've spent several hours tonight reading through many of your posts, and I really appreciate them. Keep it up, mate!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 12:31 am 
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Nice post real insightful


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:57 pm 
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Rapport

Most of Courtship is building Rapport and Comfort. Most of Charisma is just the ability to build Rapport, Comfort, and making people feel Good. Building Rapport is something that can be habit. There are several techniques both Auditory and Visual you can do to build Rapport.

Greet Them Like You Know Them

Always greet people like you have met them before, when you do this they will treat you like you have met before. You don’t walk up and say calmly “Hey, How are you?”. You say “Heeeeeyyyyy! How you doing?”. This makes them feel as if they are familiar with you. It is a very good technique that doesn’t get much mention, but if you greet people like you know them they will treat you better.

Learning about Them

When you guys are listening to people you should be learning. You should be listening and watching to see what they are really saying. People will drop hints into what they like or have a Passion for. Just listen to them and ask for more about there Passion.

When they start talking about their passion just sit back and learn they can go on forever. Just listen, ask questions, and listen some more. She may teach you about something you have no idea about. It is fun to learn for me so I love to ask questions. Once in a while I chime in with a story where we show similarities to help build Rapport.

Listen up for Small Clues on What They Love

People will use phrases that point to their interests. A Man who likes baseball, might use the expression “Homerun!” when he is excited about something. A Women might say “I am drowning here” and she may have went swimming recently or want to go now. People will let a lot of little things slip out of their subconscious. If you pay attention, you might hear someone say a cultural expression and you can ask them where they are from.

Listen Carefully

Listen carefully guys, they can say a lot with out the word content even counting. What does their voice sound like? Is their an accent? Ask where their from, people love talking about home most of the time. You can hear some pretty interesting stories. When you hear an interesting story you have insight into them, something most people don’t receive. Every once in you can mention a moment in that story and you can give them that feeling again, they will revisit that feeling they have with you multiple times.

Visual Clues

We already talked about appearance. People will clue you into their interests very quickly. They tend to show you what they want to be thought about as. A punker dresses like a punker, they want to be recognized for who they are. A Metal Head shows their music of choice in his style. Everyone shows interests in apparel and accessories. Some people where sports attire as fans. Pay attention to their accessories to some time they will have got it out of country (has happened more than a few times) and hear about the great time they had traveling. It might be their birth sign or their birth stone. Always notice the details because nobody else does.

Be a Great Audience

Give everyone you speak with your full attention, you should be making strong eye contact. Don’t look away submissively after all you are “The Man”. You should be looking them in the eye and affirming what they say, smile, and nod. Look away here and there so that they don’t get to uncomfortable but do not submit, and at a certain point it is completely unnecessary. Ask questions here and there. It feels good when you run into someone who is willing to give you their full attention. When you do this to others people will love you.

Someone on here had a great thread about the Art of Conversation, and I recommend everyone read it. As for later I will write a thread on conversation.

Find Common Ground

You should be always finding Common Ground with a person. I spoke with this girl on 8-23-10 and she happened to have gone to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, I have been there several times so we talked about places we had both gone to. I got her to revisit that feeling because I had shared that feeling with her. That is a powerful way to build rapport. They start to associate you with that feeling they had.

Other times you might have had a friend, family member, or co-worker who does something similar. It is weird but for whatever reason you gain a likeness factor, you have found some way to be alike.

Examples, these are true statements for me or were true at some point:

1. Oh I went camping last week at strawberry creek last week it was amazing.

Rebuttals:

Oh really I have buddy who owns a cabin up their. He invites me up there when he goes up but something always comes up.

I have never been there, but I have heard it is a cool spot, what did you do up there?

I have been up there it was a cool spot, I went to bla bla bla here, do you know where that is?

2. I am from California things are different there.

Rebuttals:

I am from Southern California. Where abouts are you from?

Yeah man, I know what you mean, I moved out here to go to school, this place is crazy different.

People seem to be so caught up in different things out here, don’t they?

3. I am hair stylist.

Rebuttals:

Oh yeah my cousin is a Hair Stylist. She actually owned her own salon in Hawaii for a little bit.

Sweet my cousin does that, how do you like it?

4. I just went played Paintball the other day.

Rebuttals:

Oh yeah? My cousin was a professional paintball player, I once went to a tournament in Long Beach.

I have played Paintball a few times, it is a good time. I prefer calmer sports like reading and watching TV.

All you are looking to do is have a common ground. You can relate to them in some way. Some one you know is a lot like them. Because this you guys are already familiar. It is always good to find a way where you guys relate, are familiar, and are similar. This creates a serious amount of Rapport.

Non-Threatening

When you are there you need to continue on with your Body Language, I am “The Man” Body Language, while smiling at people. Keep your arms open and palms out but make sure to show that you aren’t threatening and you will have people know they are ok to be comfortable around you.

More Later…..

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:59 pm 
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Straight up Copy Paste of my Body Language Thread:


Rapport

Most of courtship is about building rapport. When it comes to building rapport you are looking to build a connection. There are a lot of basic techniques to get a girl to like you by just doing some very simple things.

Isopraxism

I mentioned Isopraxism for a moment earlier. It is something that is known but not really noticed. A lot of times if a girl notices you she will copy your body movement or language. It happens subconsciously, we see someone we like we tend to be like them. Somebody takes a drink of water we like, it “reminds” us we are thirsty and we take a drink. I see this happen a lot in bars and social settings.

So when you do something and someone copies it is very good for you to be aware of what is going on. A good way to see if a stranger is watching you is to look at a spot on the wall or somewhere you guys can both look and see if they look at it as well. If they don’t do it it isn’t a deal breaker, it is just a nice positive occurrence.

Sometimes when a couple falls in synch they will start copying body language. If you see a couple and the date is going well there are a few things that are likely happening, the feet are slowly coming closer, and they will start to simulate each other.

So if you notice a stranger taking drinks within a minute of you taking a drink, making solid eye contact, and having one of her feet pointing toward you then you currently have a cluster. One of the most unnoticed clusters that we miss, this is a nice little gem.

If you are sitting there and you adjust your body and they copy in any way, copy the way you arms are, the way you stand, looking where you are looking, etc. You have what is isopraxism. Copying the body language is a major positive signal.

You can use this in a very positive manner as well. You can use this to build more rapport. If you are interested in a girl you can start to copy her body language. Perhaps she starts to lead, and than you take over and lead, than she copies your body language. So remember if you want to start building rapport before you meet them you can create a “likeness” attraction. You guys are alike because you do the same things, act the same way.

So remember to take these and add these to your arsenal:

Always pack chapstick, if you want to know who likes you do a quick scope of eye contact across the room. Put on some chapstick a lot of girls will put on lipstick or chapstick if they are attracted to you. You can then take a drink of anything and see who copies. You have just found yourself which girls practiced isopraxism to you.

Look at a painting or spot on the wall. See if with in a minute she looks over to see what you are looking at.

Breathing

Matching a persons breathing pattern can seriously elevate the situation subconsciously and they won’t even know you guys are doing it. What you do is fall into their breathing pattern. Breath with them so to speak, if you are talking, breathing, and moving in unison you build a connection quickly. This is a huge gem that can be used very well. Your body language is hypnotizing hers and you are seducing her merely by connecting with her, by falling in unison together. This is good to build rapport with anything but it is especially good in a courtship.

Voice Tone/ Speed

You want your tone and speed to match just like with everything else. When starting a conversation you don’t want to be the guy talking to fast or to high pitched. I actually prefer to talk somewhat low in tone and volume so they have to come to me. I also like to have “bad hearing” so I can’t hear them and bring them in closer.

My suggestion is to match their tone and volume for the most part. I always have a hard time hearing and I definitely speak a little too softly. That is a small tactic that I have found is very easy to use as long as there is a base attraction. Meaning they are willing to lean into you to talk to you, another positive body language sign.

One Ear Better Than The Other?

Believe it or not there is also a seductive ear that isn’t talked about a lot this is definitely a smooth technique it allows you to speak to the more emotional side of her brain. If she is left handed you want to speak into her right ear, if she is right handed you want to speak into her left ear. The majority of women are right handed so I usually situate myself in a way that I am on her left side and I can speak into her left ear. This allows you to say more emotional things to her.

Speak to Her

Something that most of us know that we don’t pay attention to is listening to how they observe the world. Some people will say “I see what your saying”, others “I hear what your saying”, and still others say “I feel what you are saying”.

Listen in a conversation to what she says. She will mention one of her senses most. So when she says something you agree with usual the magical phrase “You are right, I can (hear, feel, see) what you are saying”. When I tell a story I never say can you see this. I do say I want you to imagine, or picture this. These are powerful little techniques to build a lot of rapport. They make you come across as charismatic and you just fall into unison easier.

The only goal in this is to speak to the person specifically in front of you. If you like you can observe their eye movement finding out which place their eyes go to access information. If they look one way they are visual, kinesthetic (feel), or auditory. I recommend everyone google it and study it themselves I don’t want to go into detail on this one since pictures are far more efficient in this case. Great conversation piece as well when you can tell them they see things rather than hear things in their head.

GEM HAND SHAKE

This is a submissive hand shake that I should have put in the submissive signals section. If you are confident enough to be charming, you can use this hand shake and girls love and appreciate it a lot.

What you do is when you meet a girl you go to shake her hand by giving her your palm. While you get her name you bow a little looking up at her (strong eye contact don’t stop with the eye contact the entire hand shake) with a grin and repeat her name. You establish hand contact with her for at least 3 seconds and repeat her name once more this should be a somewhat soft and sensual hand shake.

It is weird but because you try to remember her name, and because you submit to her you become a very charming and charismatic person. You also establish contact with them for a little longer then most but not long enough to be creepy. You create a memory for her based off of your introduction style alone.

Seductive Eyes

Looking a girl in the eyes can be one of the biggest connections you can do. Look a girl in the right places can get you some bedroom eyes just by doing it correctly. What you do is you focus on the courtship triangle now that is a straight line from each eye to each other and from them to the lips. When you look at a girl it is good to look at the lips and eyes. Make very strong eye contact but every once in a while in a conversation it is good to look at a girls lips.

The other thing that is a little known not ever used secret is to line up your right eyes together if you go to dinner put your chair slightly to the left across the table and focus on her right eye with yours it creates a deep connection that really can’t be worded. This technique with the right lighting(dim lighting for maximum pupil size) can make you look like a serious romancer.

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