Autism and Natural Game Discussion.



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Natural Game




Author Message
PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 8:24 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:07 am
Posts: 496
I haven't participated in this board in a long time, but I've been working on my shit. I stopped here after almost two years of going out, developing an encyclopedic understanding of PUA material, transforming my physicality, voice tonality and my entire way of thinking... yet I still wasn't making many friends or really getting with girls. I reflected. I researched. I discovered that I clearly have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm autistic... but learning that has allowed me to redevelop my natural game, and I'm going places FAST. AS natural game can be totally dope... progress is slower, but the rewards are incredible.

The point of this thread is for people who have aspergers/autism or suspect they might. A LOT of advice that might work for non-autistic people is very very bad advice for someone with AS. I want to talk about this, and share what I've learned. We face different difficulties, but I promise you, we have strengths others can't imagine... they just take a bit more work to develop.


So to start... How many people out there have or think they may have AS?

What advice did have people given that is clearly not suited to you?

What have you noticed came easily to you? What seems impossible?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:19 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:53 am
Posts: 790
This is an interesting discussion and I would like to see where this goes. We all have different learning abilities or preferences and learn a a different way. Some of us are more visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learners. No matter what though, the only way to get better at something is through repetition and experimenting to see what works. There is a lot of material out there, but all of it is useless if it's not put into practice.

I'm not an expert in AS, but I did grow up very shy, introverted and acted very awkward socially many times. I don't think I'm autistic or have AS though. I worked on myself a lot and got mentors to push me through and get better. I've made a lot of progress throughout the years and now enjoy being the natural I've always wanted to be. I'm curious as to what type of advice do you have for people with AS ?

_________________
Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for attraction and dance floor game advice!
willedward.com
-> PM me for Coaching and Personal Training <-


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 5:57 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:07 am
Posts: 496
WillEdward wrote:
I've made a lot of progress throughout the years and now enjoy being the natural I've always wanted to be. I'm curious as to what type of advice do you have for people with AS ?


I was a naturally friendly and likable guy, but totally clueless. If present me had past me on bootcamp this is some of the advice I'd give...

You are weird. Face it. Own it. Learn who you are and do your goddamn best to act like yourself. You are a crappy liar. You don't understand how it works and it hurts your stomach when you do it, so don't do it. Not in thought, action, or expression.

Find out how to make friends, even if it's just an exercise. It's the same skills as getting girls. You look better with others. Approach mostly dudes. When talking to a girl, play the cool and friendly angle by default.

Trust the process. Most of this shit is ridiculously simple. Learn it bit by bit through experimentation, observation and asking questions to people who like you. "What does this mean?" shit like that. Remember, you are weird, everyone knows. The likely think you should ask more questions like that.

Be mindful. Stay calm and read signals. Trust your intellect and err on the side of caution. Be bold and fun and ballsy, but stay out of your head. Practice meditation and learn focus.You don't know how people work because you never paid any attention. Pay attention. Learn it like any of your other million hobbies... through the gross expenditure of time.


That's a start.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 8:56 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:53 am
Posts: 790
Great advice. Most of this can definitely be applied to anyone and not just in pickup. I think being true to yourself really works well, not just people with AS but others as well. Trying to be something you're not can be seen by people a mile a way. Owning yourself, even if you are weird, has a charming and endearing quality.

_________________
Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for attraction and dance floor game advice!
willedward.com
-> PM me for Coaching and Personal Training <-


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 4:00 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 7:25 pm
Posts: 111
Location: The Universe
What you are doing here is fucking AWESOME! Well done.

Much respect! 8)

_________________
Free Ebook http://www.masculineintent.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-VDABZjHvmUVHr7W-y2xlQ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.bale.33633
Free 1/2 hour Skype Coaching: http://www.masculineintent.com/free-skype-coaching/


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 8:02 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:14 pm
Posts: 644
Mastermind9000 wrote:
WillEdward wrote:
I've made a lot of progress throughout the years and now enjoy being the natural I've always wanted to be. I'm curious as to what type of advice do you have for people with AS ?


I was a naturally friendly and likable guy, but totally clueless. If present me had past me on bootcamp this is some of the advice I'd give...

You are weird. Face it. Own it. Learn who you are and do your goddamn best to act like yourself. You are a crappy liar. You don't understand how it works and it hurts your stomach when you do it, so don't do it. Not in thought, action, or expression.

Find out how to make friends, even if it's just an exercise. It's the same skills as getting girls. You look better with others. Approach mostly dudes. When talking to a girl, play the cool and friendly angle by default.

Trust the process. Most of this shit is ridiculously simple. Learn it bit by bit through experimentation, observation and asking questions to people who like you. "What does this mean?" shit like that. Remember, you are weird, everyone knows. The likely think you should ask more questions like that.

Be mindful. Stay calm and read signals. Trust your intellect and err on the side of caution. Be bold and fun and ballsy, but stay out of your head. Practice meditation and learn focus.You don't know how people work because you never paid any attention. Pay attention. Learn it like any of your other million hobbies... through the gross expenditure of time.


That's a start.


I don't think this is bad advice at all for anyone.

I think the unfortunate thing is that many people who has AS are unwilling to admit and seek help. I've seen several guys on this and other attraction forums with very AS-like behavior who will swear up and down that they have no issues. Then they go out in the field and crash and burn and then claim that PUA "doesn't work".

How do you get someone like that to the point where they can admit that they have issues interacting on a "normal" level and thus seek help? What would you suggest?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 1:01 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:07 am
Posts: 496
ChocolatePUA wrote:
How do you get someone like that to the point where they can admit that they have issues interacting on a "normal" level and thus seek help? What would you suggest?


Firstly, they need awareness, not "help" exactly. Try suggesting they that they may be experiencing an unknown unknown. They don't see what they don't see.

It took me two years in which I totally fucked my life to really understand what was wrong.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2015 7:35 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu May 21, 2015 1:02 am
Posts: 7
Location: California
A couple doctors told me I have it, a couple others told me the first couple were wrong. The way that psychiatric
"issues" are diagnosed is not very cut and dry and largely up to the therapist's discretion and best guess--however, many people with AS it is extremely obvious right away.

That said, I grew up feeling like there was a line of code missing from my brain...like everyone else knew something I just didn't, that they all "got" something I wasn't wired for. It fucked me up for most of my life in a lot of ways, until I realized the Light Side of it (remember everything is a matter of perspective) and realized that I can actually write my OWN belief "code" and put it directly into my own subconscious with NLP and affirmations and visualizations, I was an absolute natural at that once I really understood it, and there is great strength in being to consciously rewire ones own mind.

Just follow whoever's advice resonates with you--trust your intuition. Hope that helps.

_________________
For FREE reports, videos, articles and more, check out My Website today!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 5:58 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:07 am
Posts: 496
Drexel Scott wrote:
A couple doctors told me I have it, a couple others told me the first couple were wrong. The way that psychiatric
"issues" are diagnosed is not very cut and dry and largely up to the therapist's discretion and best guess--however, many people with AS it is extremely obvious right away.

That said, I grew up feeling like there was a line of code missing from my brain...like everyone else knew something I just didn't, that they all "got" something I wasn't wired for. It fucked me up for most of my life in a lot of ways, until I realized the Light Side of it (remember everything is a matter of perspective) and realized that I can actually write my OWN belief "code" and put it directly into my own subconscious with NLP and affirmations and visualizations, I was an absolute natural at that once I really understood it, and there is great strength in being to consciously rewire ones own mind.

Just follow whoever's advice resonates with you--trust your intuition. Hope that helps.


Well, I can certainly understand the idea of missing a line of code. An aspie friend said one time that there is just something basic to human interaction that we just don't get. This is the "unknown unknown" I mentioned above. Much of what I do is to find other ways of collecting that information in a way I understand so I can calculate the appropriate action.

Luckily for me (and not all the other people in town) I didn't know what was wrong and spent a lot of time making a mess of things. Which sounds bad, but my hundreds of nights out furnished me with a huge amount of social reference. I don't think I would have done it if I knew what I had, so I just kept going out. Once I figured out the problem, those experiences were still there to be reinterpreted. I had also practiced the fine art of piecing myself back together after emotional trauma (aka, got really tough and confident from all the going out) and, yes, my world view fell apart briefly but I was able to reassemble it much better and quicker than if I were still a homebody that learned of his aspergers from some doctor who did a test.

I often get now, "You don't look like you have aspergers". Well, that's because I spent 2 years erasing many of the signs: Bad body language, weak vocal tonality, shyness (to a large degree), conversation skills, the ability to read cues, etc... I like to say, "Well if you've got 10 hours I'd love to babble out the story of how I found out. Let's start with the obsessive research, the attention to detail--did you know that you can tell if you have someone's attention even when they aren't looking at you--it has to do with binocular vision--- you know what that is right? It's when.....................and..........oh, yeah, and...." I mimic my old body language, my eyes darting around, it's a sight gag that anyone who knows what aspies look like get a kick out of it and never doubts it again! :)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:19 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 3
Location: New York
I have Asperger's, and have recently gotten divorced, so I'm learning how it impedes one's game. Some specific points:

Eye Contact: this is very hard for me, as it's not my nature. I avoid eye contact largely because I don't want to share myself with others (generally speaking). I also avoid it so as to not meet girls... I'm fortunate enough to be very physically attractive so a lot of girls fish for eye contact, but I don't/didn't want to meet most of those girls (either not attractive, or during the 15 years I was married). Now that I want to meet people, it's tough to turn the switch. I find that I mostly suck at the eye contact game, and consider improvement there to be my number one priority.

Awareness: when I'm talking to a friend, I tend to get absorbed in the conversation and fail to stay aware of my surroundings. My friends constantly report to me that I've missed IOIs thrown my way. I've been advised to learn how to surreptitiously scan the room every 30-45 seconds and stop focusing too much on the content of my conversations.

Body language: my friends were appalled at my total inability to read body language. I could not tell at all who was into me and who wasn't, even outside of a pickup context. I not only didn't know how to interpret signals, I couldn't even notice them. I just assume that people are into what I'm saying because I'm so amazing and fascinating, but apparently that perception is incorrect. This is my second highest priority after the eye contact thing.

Small talk: apparently I get too heavy too quickly. I argue that I need to qualify girls to find ones on my wavelength, but I'm told it's too much too fast (I generally make philosophical comments to try and find intellectual girls). But I don't really have anything else as shallow topics and people bore me. I don't want to compromise too much but I need to find a more relatable way of taking to people.

I'm currently a bit daunted at the learning curve I'm facing. This is not going to be easy. I'm actually leaning towards just maximizing my looks and letting girls come to me (how I snagged my HB10 ex all those years ago). I'm not sure if I find appealing the amount of time and money it will take to correct my game.

_________________
"My mind is my Shield, my words are my Spear, and here I make my stand against the Villains of this world!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 7:09 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 591
Location: San Antonio
Drexel Scott wrote:
A couple doctors told me I have it, a couple others told me the first couple were wrong. The way that psychiatric "issues" are diagnosed is not very cut and dry and largely up to the therapist's discretion and best guess.


Autism (and many other 'disorders') falls on a spectrum. Some will say no, some will say yes, and things aren't BnW or cut and dry (a shame more providers don't realize this). I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere on it too, but it's not strong enough to stop me from interacting with people. The nature of my work is with a lot of people and I don't feel shy or embarrassed much anymore.

However, I've always been told I miss social cues and have introvert or "nerdy" tendencies or ticks. One of my docs also asked me if I was nervous and I was so chill inside it boggled my mind!!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure there are a lot of folks somewhere on the spectrum, I think I'm more outgoing than most people! I think most often people that are willing to work on the social phobia part can overcome it with enough desensitization. :lol:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 4:18 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:52 pm
Posts: 29
I also have asperger syndrome. and I also really always had difficulties with women. even though I know many guests who do not have autism and really many worse are like me. I really had my successes already.
I have been especially difficult with teasing and Smalltalk ... it is said that neill Strauss also has a form of autisme because he really all fixed routines used and that is typical of autistic people.
but I want to learn faster. and really have difficulties with the attractionfase. the woman to man phase.
Maybe that I first a few weeks really have to focus on the first 10 min in a set.
they always say that you have needed a funny vibe and this is true. want i do sometimes many cold approaches but this works not good for me.They also say that what you says that it not big deal is.
but for someone with autism is this difficult. and I do not know how to fix it.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:21 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:07 am
Posts: 496
jappe007 wrote:
I also have asperger syndrome. and I also really always had difficulties with women. even though I know many guests who do not have autism and really many worse are like me. I really had my successes already.
I have been especially difficult with teasing and Smalltalk ... it is said that neill Strauss also has a form of autisme because he really all fixed routines used and that is typical of autistic people.
but I want to learn faster. and really have difficulties with the attractionfase. the woman to man phase.
Maybe that I first a few weeks really have to focus on the first 10 min in a set.
they always say that you have needed a funny vibe and this is true. want i do sometimes many cold approaches but this works not good for me.They also say that what you says that it not big deal is.
but for someone with autism is this difficult. and I do not know how to fix it.



It's a lot harder than people think. Finding appropriate adivice is likely the hardest part... so remember, regular people's advice really comes down to different variations of "try not being autistic". "Go with the flow", "Don't think about it", "You are over thinking", all these are bullshit to a person with autism.

My advice to you as someone who does know you situation is simple, "Forget about pick-up". Look at cold approach as a method for general social skills developing. After talking to hundreds and thousands of people you will see patterns emerge. When you see that, when you think automatically "ah! I've seen this before" you know that you've progressed. Nothing has to happen, because once you see a pattern you know you will see it again. And as you progress you will see that people start acting differently to you and this will change from day to day and as the weeks and months pass. Even if you can't tell you are progressing, others can. Forget about pickup... but it's perfectly fine to just like talking to girls, and girls don't mind if you say that. Seek the friend zone. There is no point in going direct or hitting hard if you don't have the follow-up. You'll just weird out the girls, disappoint them and yourself, and in the end gain nothing. Take the pressure off yourself and relax. Once you do that you will immediately notice that girls are likely awkward and nervous around YOU.

Regular people seem to crawl over each other like zombies if there is someone they like around. They don't even know they are doing it. For me, when I'm out I know that I have the guts to talk to anyone I want, but I also know my limitations. I look for easy sets. Talk to dudes, older ladies, fat chicks, people that will be easy to get in with and have a good time. You aren't proving anything, you are learning and doing it by having fun.

How much have you learned to see? Can you tell across a room who wants to talk to you? Can you tell if a girls is standing next to you by coincidence or if she is orbiting you? All this and TONS AND TONS more is right on their face, plain as day, but most people don't know consciously and once you learn to see it the hard way you will find power and confidence in this.

Everything thing I do at night is training for when I find a girl at the right time with the right chemistry. Then I'll have the guts and the wisdom to do the right thing.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 2:42 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:25 pm
Posts: 11
Any Advice for guys with AS?


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link