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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:09 am 
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Gamey as in like it comes off I'm reciting lines when trying to make convo or trying to tease...or even sometimes when I try to kino since I'm not too confident with the kino escalation ladder quite yet.

I'm a little indecisive after I approach a girl, I make a good(sometimes great, have approached girls whose energy spiked on the approach whom I could've gotten with had I better game for sure) approach with direct/indirect- whatever I feel like, and then I almost always drop the ball on where to go from there. I have a very hard time to move past small talk, trying to make statements, "light" touching to "mid" touching, and transition to a sexual topic/create sexual vibe...and sometimes when I do I have been told how it comes off like "lines" or something like that.

It's mostly since I'm trying to work on conversational skills so this DOESNT HAPPEN, but when I'm doing THAT, I don't even know where to begin with. I do crap I know I shouldn't do like when I ask them "soo what do you do?" *girls response* my response- "OH!! really??"...yea. it's very frustrating and it ruins my frame in a set since even when I'm in-field I know I shouldnt be doing that, but it's just such an instinct. How can I stop coming off this way and come off more "natural"?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:30 am 
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When I read this, I'm guessing that you prefer to go indirect but your mannerisms are betraying you. That way it ends up looking like your trying to "game" them. You may want to slow down your escalation and concentrate more on a conversation with women. Flirt a bit when you have a chance in the conversation and when you have her smiling and looking into your eyes, then escalate with kino. Even if you are approaching directly, it would probably be advisable to do this as well just to get them comfortable talking to you.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:50 am 
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yeah that's solid advice, concentrate on just the conversation rather then "gaming" and "steps". I still don't want to just small talk with the girl since they (literally)always walk away/cut themselves out of set if its going nowhere like that. I'd at least like to find SOME way I can show that I'm a valuable guy worth talking to(like as in a DHV that isn't bragging...I mean, as I practice PUA more I do believe this more and more, I just have trouble showing it) without it coming off like some "line".


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:55 am 
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I suspect that they are walking away because you sound "gamey". You should be mixing your small talk with flirting. She should know that you find her attractive but hold a real conversation at the same time. If you make her feel that attraction, she's not going to walk away.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:08 am 
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it's kind of hard for me to put into words the troubles I'm having creating attraction/sexual vibe since I'm basically re-working all of the bitter AFC calibrations/self depriving thoughts of failure with women Ive held my entire life. I guess what this entire thing is teaching me is more my non-verbals, my lack of flirting/playfulness, and not focusing on holding a real conversation but moreso trying to "move it in steps" I should say....


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 4:55 pm 
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For the love of heaven, you read too much pick up stuff. Women are humans. Just talk to them the way you talk to a human. What on earth do you mean by "making statements"? If you actually were interested in the girl, you would not come across as "unnatural". You are not actually interested in the human that you are talking to, and that is your problem. You act like you're communicating with some alien species that speaks in code.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 9:02 am 
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Quote:
For the love of heaven, you read too much pick up stuff. Women are humans. Just talk to them the way you talk to a human. What on earth do you mean by "making statements"? If you actually were interested in the girl, you would not come across as "unnatural". You are not actually interested in the human that you are talking to, and that is your problem. You act like you're communicating with some alien species that speaks in code.
this is all truth in some respects, I "am" actually genuinely interested in the females i approach....its just im so inexperienced talking to the amount of random girls that I am now that It like becomes a "structure" for me in my head of what to say.

like i said in my post before, this is me coming off of a huge angry, bitter AFC yearly streak ive had where Ive literally barely said a PEEP to any kind of girl. I know I can just say ill "just talk to them as humans" but in practice I still get all tangled up in my head about "making the convo interesting" which was the point of me making this thread. I really do want to convey the interest in them that they want from a guy without going over the line, and I want to really show them that i am genuinely interested in getting to know them without going interview mode/boring them, I just dont know how to properly SPAM...and thats why I said the part about "making statements" so the convo isnt "interview mode".


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 2:22 pm 
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Two things you can do

1) work on your delivery
Aim to make the lines sound forced and scripted. This is the hardest way. Trying to pass something off as real when it's fake. But practice makes perfect.

2) re-structure your stacks
Take it down to the drawing board and structure in a better way. There are ways that conversations naturally flow and then there are a ton in which it isn't normal at all.

Ie. You: Can I get your opinion on something?
Girl: omg is this a line?
You: ok so I was outside the club and there were 2 girls fighting .....

That's the hard part about scripting entire stacks. It almost never takes into account the girls response, which is half of a conversation, generally speaking.

But, it can be overcome by scripting various responses. Essentially pre empting common responses and writing lines to accommodate these different scenarios.

This takes time.

3) developing skills, and using certain lines as the icing on the cake
The best way, is conversational skills, and other interaction skills.

There are countless ways to do this. Buy a book for starters.
I have a post on my blog on conversation which u can also check out. But far by the best way is to buy a comprehensive book, OR, practice making small talk often.

Where do lines n scripted stuff come in? They should be used as just certain things you could possibly go to whenever u want. Say the convo is running dry, or if you find a spot where it's perfect to tell a little story that you often tell at social events.

This is actually fairly common for naturally good socializers, or ppl who often interact with others. For example, it is common for savvy businessmen who often entertain to have a couple of interesting stories that get an audience engaged that they actually retell fairly often.

You should approach it the same way.

The holy grail of conversation, is to have certain topics that you like to talk about. Topics or subjects of which you are very opinionated about or are capable of talking with interest about. These topics can be pre prepared, or, more likely, they should be just topics that you naturally find yourself gravitating to after conversations with many people.

To achieve this, it usually starts with being confident enough and at a level of comfort with yourself and others, that you can fully express yourself in an interaction.

Ie. When I talk to girls, I often end up talkin about music, about social dynamics, about travel. These are things I like. It is who I am and I always naturally end up talking about things I like.

It's easy to talk about things that you are passionate about, so why limit yourself by forcing lines, when most ppl have all the content they need to carry a convo in themselves.

Gd luck,
Translation.

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