How to take rejection with style!



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PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 12:13 am 
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This has got nothing to do with being able to take rejection internally (which is probably what it would usually refer to), so please don't post any links to such articles.

I don't mind being rejected at all, and I don't think what I'm writing about is really to do with confidence when approaching. It's just (having approached a girl) I don't like going through that immediate transition of being the charismatic guy who surely has some fascinating trick up his sleeve, to the idle guy who doesn't have a purpose. It's a certain amount for the other party to take in too.

And yes, either way you won't be going home with her - but the thing is, the girl you're approaching might intend to reject you either way, it's just I'd just rather be rejected as the "confident fun guy" rather than Mr introverted loner. It's not that I take it personally, I mean I wouldn't even have no problem with a girl pointing and laughing at me, if you get my drift. It's just the awkwardness can be a bit much.

Basically, you're going up to a girl(s) not really knowing what to expect. From her point of view; if she sees that you're confident enough to approach, she's probably expecting something impressive from you? So either way, you'll come across as entertaining for the first 5 seconds or so. But it's after that What I'm talking about here... when it's inevitable that the answer is no. I'd rather be perceived at a guy living on delusions of grandeur than the alternative. So I might try and maintain a few lines of banter for a few seconds even though I know it's not going to happen.

I think it's the only thing that hinders me approaching... the parting which mightn't even happen. I think this issue is important seeing as one is likely to get rejected by what percentage of girls they approach??!!

I mean I can take it, but it's just a little bit of a blow to the ego, and that doesn't seem like something that's ever going to change after my many years of pick-up. I don't think what I'm getting at here is a matter of how much courage one has, because I no well that I do have the courage to experience those awkward situations. It's also more of an issue when you're by yourself.

I mightn't sound like much for me to complain about, but I feel like I've put my finger on something in writing that, and I hope I'm right. Please don't post any advice about how "not to give up", or "how to not to take no for an answer".

Thank you


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:50 am 
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I don't have answer to this but I like your question. You direct approach someone - appear super confident etc. Get rejected, how do you take that with style?

Easy to say something generic like don't let it affect you, smile but it might help to develop specific (routine?) to say/do that will convey you are unfazed by the rejection.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:29 pm 
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When I get rejected, I stick by the "leave them better than you found them" philosophy. So I just leave them with a generic compliment to her looks.

**Rejection getting a number**

Me: Oh well no biggie, I just thought you were the prettiest girl I've seen so far today. Have a nice day though cutie


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:34 pm 
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"Me: Oh well no biggie, I just thought you were the prettiest girl I've seen so far today. Have a nice day though cutie"

^ Too needy. It's basically saying 'you should feel a bit guilty because I've been checking out loads of girls today and you're the prettiest I've seen, so more fool on you for rejecting me. Have a nice day though 'cutie''.

For a real complimentary, non-needy exit, why not just acknowledge you got some enjoyment out of the convo if nothing else. Try: "That's okay, I'm glad we got to talk because [compliment on what you genuinely liked or found interesting about her]"

e.g. No worries, I'm glad we got to talk because its rare to find someone who's classy enough to enjoy a Negroni but goofy enough to admit they're a Comic Book nerd. [if you're feeling daring, followed by:] Are you absolutely sure you don't want to go for a drink sometimes? I have a feeling you're a hilarious drunk


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 12:17 pm 
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Absurdism wrote:
"Me: Oh well no biggie, I just thought you were the prettiest girl I've seen so far today. Have a nice day though cutie"

^ Too needy. It's basically saying 'you should feel a bit guilty because I've been checking out loads of girls today and you're the prettiest I've seen, so more fool on you for rejecting me. Have a nice day though 'cutie''.
It's a technicality, and hence not worth worrying about.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:59 pm 
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If you are being rejected! Great! Good Job! you are out there doing it.
If you are consistently being rejected time after time, your doing it wrong.

Rejection is based on two factors.

1. Attraction. Not all girl, hell, not all humans are going to like you.
2. Learning. Presentation, tonality, touching, speaking.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:29 pm 
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Quote:
^ Too needy. It's basically saying 'you should feel a bit guilty because I've been checking out loads of girls today and you're the prettiest I've seen, so more fool on you for rejecting me. Have a nice day though 'cutie''.


Too needy? No. Nothing of the sort.

More like I already got rejected, there's no saving it, and even if there was I don't have the time or inclination to do so.

So I give her a basic unthoughtful compliment on something right there. No effort, just "you're pretty, bye." It doesn't matter either way.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 10:40 am 
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It depends how you are rejected. If she flat out says 'go away' there's not a lot really that you can do, but i'm sure many people have their ways of reacting to that.

When I'm in clubs or bars I tend to do more indirect approaches or maybe semi-direct style, so when I get rejected it's more of just a feeling that things just arnt happening, I know it, she knows it. So when I feel the interaction has gone stale all I say is, 'I gotto go find my friends, come find me later though we'll have a drink'. Thats it. She's not gonna come find me later but it show's that I didnt feel rejected. Like it didnt even occur to me that it wasnt gonna go anywhere. And no one within ear shot hears a guy being rejected.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:50 pm 
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Just thank and smile. Smiling drive people crazy.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 4:38 pm 
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Hey mate.

Rejections is always a good thing, it means that you've take your guts to approach. It happens to everyone and even though with time you will have less and less failures, you will still sometimes get thrown out the window.

There is no secret to rejection if no taking it kindly. If the girl tells you " NO " ( and not , hmmmmm Noo hihi, a proper NO ) don't be that guy that ask why she rejected you. after all she's missing out so just be like " okay * handshake and smile * have a lovely day. If she refuse your handshake it might offends you the first times, but after a while you'll laugh about it to their face.

Now I once faced a girl that told me to " F*CK OFF " and added a comment that was even more rude that I dont remenber accurately. so I just went " oh yes babe insult me, please can you shout louder this time ? " but that's not a " alpha " way of dealing with things, I just did it for my personal pleasure

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PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2016 6:36 am 
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Your post encouraged me to express my opinion on this issue. Unlike you I don't care if I am rejected in the end. I tend to make a small performance for each girl, so that we both enjoyed the process, not the result. If you are a pickup artist make it part of your life, don't bother yourself with the outcome.

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