Fuck.

I lost my virginity a few weeks ago to a girl who I liked, but who lives away from home due to some family problems. I'm 17. She's 17. We broke up because I realised I couldn't be a boyfriend and a therapist at the same time, as she has a psychological problem which she's dealing with at the moment.

Here's the shit thing. I fucked her, twice without a condom because she said she was religiously on the pill and they weren't around. I am a goddamn retard because she said today that she missed a period, and the homemade pregnancy test (with bleach) was positive. She's also been feeling nauseous.

I'm meeting her tomorrow to get a proper test from the chemist, and then we're going to talk about this. I spent a good forty minutes yelling to myself and walking around in the dark here, and I told two very close friends about what had happened. I haven't told my parents yet and I don't plan to until I know for sure.


I'm not ready to be a father. I think she might agree to an abortion, but it's about 50/50. The certain thing is that she couldn't care for the baby on her own, and she would probably be evicted from the people she lives with for getting pregnant. I literally cannot think of any more unlucky thing to happen to me at the moment. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I am in my second last year of school, exams are in a few weeks. Next year is the biggest year of my life. And very possibly I will have to find a way to raise a child, or comfort a lost mother, and deal with the fall out from my own stupidity in either case, and I am just not ready to do it. I want to go to university, I want to meet girls and have fun having sex, not obsess every time about the effectiveness of a contraceptive from now on. I want to go crazy in my twenties and travel around the world. I don't even have a job.

This is crazy, man. Who has advice?

Imagine how you would feel if you had to go either through the pain of giving birth or the emotional and physical pain of the abortion.

In other words to be the woman.

Wow yeah that helps him so much, thread closed, you're awesome.

Did you get the results yet?

How can you help him?

It is the girl's decision what she will do with her body.

What do you want me to do? Suggest him how to find a good job so he can be a good father?

Life is tough and it doesn't come always our way. Accept the facts.
and if he is lucky learn and don't do it again!

Man, this is tough. And be clear about one thing, if you are going to be having sex, these things happen. Its normal. I have had my fair share of scares. But it is not the end of the world. Make sure you communicate to her all of your concerns. Make sure she knows how it will be if she has the child. Make sure she knows that you are not rdy, that you did not expect this. Look man, I truly understand, and if you need any help with this, PM me and I will call you or something. Just understand that it is not the end of the world. It could always be worse. But there are solutions and ways to approach this situation that will alleviate alot of the stress that you are having. It is not too late yet.
I am a big proponate of bringing a child into a world where both parents are ready and willing to love the child. If you are not rdy, and of course she is not either, then you need to be able to communicate this to her. But it is ultimately her choice, and you need to be aware that if she has it, you will need to be there for the child. It was not his/her fault. But there are things that you should be able to communicate and if you need help with this, PM me and I will try to assist how ever way I can....

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(I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY!)

what were you thinking???? the 18 seconds it takes to put on a condom is much better then the 18 years you have to pretend to like sports and going to kids school plays

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

you know what could be worse she could guilt you in to staying with her if she has a baby!

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

Thank you to most of the posts, I appreciate the slaps on the wrist as well as the offers to help me out through PM, I was really freaking out at this time. I was being a bit selfish when I wrote this, I'll admit, I think it was my initial reaction and fear of my life going hellish - I'm pretty idealistic when it comes to planning my future.

The next week after this happened was hectic - we went to the doctors' twice and took some tests as well. She didn't have a period for six weeks in total, but the urine tests she took were negative - except one which looked faintly positive. The doctors' urine tests were both negative, but her symptoms persisted, no period, nausea, other stuff like that, and I was almost certain she was pregnant anyway. We talked about it for a long time, and she explained that she couldn't bear to get an abortion, coincidentally enough, an atheist friend of mine gave an amazing speech in English class supporting anti-abortion laws the next day, and we watched "Juno" at home. Now that was weird.

I told myself to sit it out, stop worrying and whatever happened, I would commit to my mistakes completely and support her in any way I could. I waited for two weeks, and she told me one day that she'd been to the hospital, and had a blood test, and she wasn't pregnant. I was relieved, but I asked why she had gone to the hospital... She replied that she had really bad stomach cramps, and she had been told the baby had died, as it was a fallopian pregnancy, and also that it was conceived after we broke up, with another guy.

We talked for a long time at her house, and I comforted her as best I could. It wasn't her fault or mine that all this stress came on to us, and I'm still going to be her friend and give her a shoulder to lean on. But I can't pretend it's not a relief.

I guess it was just one of those freaky points in your life. I'm not going to tempt fate again. Since then an amazing girl that I have wanted for years has finally warmed to me, she's incredibly smart, funny and attractive, going to uni next year to do some high level course in fashion. She's been flirting with me all week, and so long as I don't fuck it up, going out with her would be a dream come true. But I think I'll always remember just these three weeks in which I thought my life would change forever.

there may be accident that nobody can say this , but it can be avoided . at first many worries about if she is pregnant or not . i wanna advise you that she has to check it through link removed by moderator then she has to make sure. if the answer yes. there are a lot of way to get rid of unexpected pregnancy that you have to follow the rules of it. you can take advice with a ell known doctor. i hope will solve your problem soon stuckupcurlyguy . thanks

You realize this thread was 5 years old?

Locking it....