Need some advice from an experienced pua



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:53 am 
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Heres my problem, my gf and i broke up over some crazy shit even though we were really compatible. Basically i had commitment issues and then ended up having to go to jail for 6 months , so i just stopped talking to her.i knew it would be hard to maintain a ldr for that long anyways.well now im over my commitment issues and i really want to be with her.we were half ass talking for awhile but she had already been seeing this other guy while i was gone so its been complicated.when we first met i was kind of a douche, didnt treat her well, and she was CRAZY for me. The other guy found out she was talking to me and acted crazy af calling her a cunt and so on and so forth...so they arent together anymore.problem is, she still hits me up almost everyday but she doesnt seem to be crazy for me anymore.we dont talk about a relationship anymore because of me and the other guy finding out about each other and all the drama that ensued.and im out of town for another month so we cant see each other.....today she posted a meme on facebook about how girls swear theyll never speak to a guy again nd then respond immediately when he texts her.i feel like it was about the other guy because hes been a complete asshole to her like i used to be.ive been polite but distant towards her ever since we stopped talking officially because i read some forums on getting an ex back and figured it would apply.

What im wondering is wether or not me being nicer has anything to do with her not being as attracted to me anymore and if i should start being a dick again or just keep being lighthearted , nice and dismissive until i come home??? Please help me out with this guys


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:05 pm 
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What makes you think you fixed your commitment issues?

How do you know you've fixed something unless you've been able to text it out to see if things have changed?

You want the girl because you don't currently have her, and some how you think that upon getting her you're still going to want her and upkeep this whole " i wanna be a good guy" image? Every guy that has ever gotten back with an old girl and promised to change has thought the exact same thing. I'm not saying its impossible, but this longing for her is not what you think it is.

You're probably not in the best situation and she's a source of familiarity and comfort for you and so you want her. I get that. But why else? And what have you done so far to work toward improving yourself, your situation, and/or potentially getting a new girl of higher value?

FYI.. 6 months is not an awful lot of time for a girl to wait for you. You have feel like you're worth more than that.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:14 pm 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
What makes you think you fixed your commitment issues?

How do you know you've fixed something unless you've been able to text it out to see if things have changed?

You want the girl because you don't currently have her, and some how you think that upon getting her you're still going to want her and upkeep this whole " i wanna be a good guy" image? Every guy that has ever gotten back with an old girl and promised to change has thought the exact same thing. I'm not saying its impossible, but this longing for her is not what you think it is.

You're probably not in the best situation and she's a source of familiarity and comfort for you and so you want her. I get that. But why else? And what have you done so far to work toward improving yourself, your situation, and/or potentially getting a new girl of higher value?

FYI.. 6 months is not an awful lot of time for a girl to wait for you. You have feel like you're worth more than that.


I know exactly what you mean but i really feel like this girl is indeed who i want.the longer ive known her the more i like what i see.ive grown to adore her personality and i know that i have no problem commiting to her.i feel like ive been playing it the right way because she still contacts me alot but she still wont hint at wanting to be together. And i wonder if the other dude still has her on his finger since hes so mean to her...ive been really complacent but idk if thats enough.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:40 pm 
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Bobby bouche wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
What makes you think you fixed your commitment issues?

How do you know you've fixed something unless you've been able to text it out to see if things have changed?

You want the girl because you don't currently have her, and some how you think that upon getting her you're still going to want her and upkeep this whole " i wanna be a good guy" image? Every guy that has ever gotten back with an old girl and promised to change has thought the exact same thing. I'm not saying its impossible, but this longing for her is not what you think it is.

You're probably not in the best situation and she's a source of familiarity and comfort for you and so you want her. I get that. But why else? And what have you done so far to work toward improving yourself, your situation, and/or potentially getting a new girl of higher value?

FYI.. 6 months is not an awful lot of time for a girl to wait for you. You have feel like you're worth more than that.


I know exactly what you mean but i really feel like this girl is indeed who i want.the longer ive known her the more i like what i see.ive grown to adore her personality and i know that i have no problem commiting to her.i feel like ive been playing it the right way because she still contacts me alot but she still wont hint at wanting to be together. And i wonder if the other dude still has her on his finger since hes so mean to her...ive been really complacent but idk if thats enough.



She contacts you a lot because she doesn't have much else going for herself either. You think that if she met me and i was interested in her that she would still be contacting you? You're giving her attention, you're making her feel wanted, and she doesn't have to do a damn thing for it. Of course she's going to take that from you if you're offering it and no cost.

And her "personality".. Don't make me laugh.. Everyones "cool" once you get to know them..

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:50 pm 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
Bobby bouche wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
What makes you think you fixed your commitment issues?

How do you know you've fixed something unless you've been able to text it out to see if things have changed?

You want the girl because you don't currently have her, and some how you think that upon getting her you're still going to want her and upkeep this whole " i wanna be a good guy" image? Every guy that has ever gotten back with an old girl and promised to change has thought the exact same thing. I'm not saying its impossible, but this longing for her is not what you think it is.

You're probably not in the best situation and she's a source of familiarity and comfort for you and so you want her. I get that. But why else? And what have you done so far to work toward improving yourself, your situation, and/or potentially getting a new girl of higher value?

FYI.. 6 months is not an awful lot of time for a girl to wait for you. You have feel like you're worth more than that.


I know exactly what you mean but i really feel like this girl is indeed who i want.the longer ive known her the more i like what i see.ive grown to adore her personality and i know that i have no problem commiting to her.i feel like ive been playing it the right way because she still contacts me alot but she still wont hint at wanting to be together. And i wonder if the other dude still has her on his finger since hes so mean to her...ive been really complacent but idk if thats enough.



She contacts you a lot because she doesn't have much else going for herself either. You think that if she met me and i was interested in her that she would still be contacting you? You're giving her attention, you're making her feel wanted, and she doesn't have to do a damn thing for it. Of course she's going to take that from you if you're offering it and no cost.

And her "personality".. Don't make me laugh.. Everyones "cool" once you get to know them..


Im not that guy though.like i said ive been complacent.for example, she tried to talk to me about a problem and my response was " sorry to hear that, hope it turns out ok" and left it at that.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:04 pm 
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You're not that guy once she's being "obvious" about putting her problems on you. But what about all the subtle needs for attention and validation for a man. What about that problem? Do you not think you're filling that void?

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:32 pm 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
You're not that guy once she's being "obvious" about putting her problems on you. But what about all the subtle needs for attention and validation for a man. What about that problem? Do you not think you're filling that void?


Im thinking about just being up front and telling her i dont wanna talk to her anymore and that if she needs somebody to talk to she should try the other guy.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 11:16 pm 
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Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:08 am 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.


Ive done that before and she called me out on it.i think i might do it again and when she calls me out say something like " oh my bad, didnt know i was obligated to talk to you every day.hmm myst have missed that memo". What ya think?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:45 am 
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Bobby bouche wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.


Ive done that before and she called me out on it.i think i might do it again and when she calls me out say something like " oh my bad, didnt know i was obligated to talk to you every day.hmm myst have missed that memo". What ya think?


Nah..


Passive agression is never the way to go. If she wants you, let her show it. Texting you back ain't enough. Just leave it unless she displays something more than just a simple text.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:51 am 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
Bobby bouche wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.


Ive done that before and she called me out on it.i think i might do it again and when she calls me out say something like " oh my bad, didnt know i was obligated to talk to you every day.hmm myst have missed that memo". What ya think?


Nah..


Passive agression is never the way to go. If she wants you, let her show it. Texting you back ain't enough. Just leave it unless she displays something more than just a simple text.


Okay thanks dude. Ill post back on how it goes.i thought maybe being a douche would be better because she seems to be into that but now that i think about it that shows way too much investment. I appreciate the advice.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 1:58 am 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.


Except, if she texts me with the whole " whats wrong? Did i do something wrong? Why are you acting weird? Yata yata...." thing and i dont respond doesn't that make me look kinda butthurt?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:20 am 
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Bobby bouche wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.


Except, if she texts me with the whole " whats wrong? Did i do something wrong? Why are you acting weird? Yata yata...." thing and i dont respond doesn't that make me look kinda butthurt?



Why do you care about how you look?

If she says.. "Send me 500 dollars" would not responding make you look selfish? And would you care? You're thinking too much.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:46 pm 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
Bobby bouche wrote:
Eddie Fews wrote:
Or you could simply just stop responding and see how she behaves.


Except, if she texts me with the whole " whats wrong? Did i do something wrong? Why are you acting weird? Yata yata...." thing and i dont respond doesn't that make me look kinda butthurt?



Why do you care about how you look?

If she says.. "Send me 500 dollars" would not responding make you look selfish? And would you care? You're thinking too much.


Update: i took your advice and i think it may be working.she seems to be slipping.shes been making awkward attempts to talk to me about stupid stuff and making herself look afc. We'll see how it goes.


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