"You have a girlfriend" shit test


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2016 4:30 pm 
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I take a girl out for a walk in the park, I flirt with her about how near that following bench I'm gonna grab her hand and by the end of the alley I'm gonna move in for the kiss. She laughs and punches my arm and asks:

"Does your girlfriend know how you talk to other girls?"

She doesn't, of course.

My relationship is pretty public so most of everyone that knows me or of me knows I have a 3 year long relationship. I can't hide it and never really bothered to.

Now how would be the correct way to respond to shit tests like this?

I've been either shrugging off or making fun like:

"What? You want my girlfriend to come hold your hand, comfort and assure you she's been there and it's ok?"
"My girlfriend can't save you now."
"My girlfriend asks me to bring other girls home, I'm just a dutiful boyfriend."

However I have no clue what I'm doing.

Be straight with me guys. How would you respond?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:15 pm 
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Its not what you say its how you say it.

So the best line or the worst line will fall on deaf ears if its not delivered confidently. And a basic plain line stands a good chance at illicit a positive reaction if its delivered with a strong frame and full confidence.

I personally would confidently say " Of course not. She'd kill me" tongue in cheek with a smirk , followed up by doing exactly what I said I was going to do. Grab her hand and kiss her.

Now why you're looking to be in a committed relationship and doing this in the process is a whole other thing. And I'm not the moral police, but you'd be surprised at what a woman is willing to accept if you confidently be honest with them and talk to them about your desires. If continuing to be with other women is one of them, don't be afraid to discuss it. It'll save her the broken heart, the disappointment, the failed relationship, and it will spare you from having to lie and sneak around.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2016 4:49 pm 
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Yeah I get you, and I naturally hold a strong frame so whatever I say is ok.

Today however, an extra funny thing happened. I was with my coworker, all was smooth, preparing to make a move when suddenly my GIRLFRIEND came out of the blue and surprised us (we were walking from work and she works at the same corporation, so it happens).

Now don't mind my girlfriend she knows my ways, and is too scared I'd leave her to give me any shit for seeing other girls, but the other girl got REALLY uncomfortable, went silent and 2 minutes later got the fuck out taking another turn.

What might be even worse was that, being a good boyfriend, of course I went to kiss my girlfriend and took her hand.

I done fucked up, cockblocked by my very own girlfriend.

Any response to this?

Should I:

a) shrug it off and never mention it again, continue to game this girl like nothing happened
b) "Hope my girlfriend didn't scare you as much as she scared me, haha"
c) imply my relationship isn't really as solid as everyone thinks, so she doesn't go guilt ridden for somehow thinking she's destroying my relationship

More so in the future, with future girls should I:

1) downplay my relationship as nothing serious despite what everyone thinks (it isn't for me anyway)
2) upplay(?) my relationship, play the best boyfriend ever, who's only seeing other girls when my girlfriend doesn't mind
3) continue never mentioning it personally and shrugging it off when they mention it


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2016 10:51 pm 
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Honestly speaking, and I'm not moral police either, how you act is cringeworthy.

Unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend on meeting other women (and she should have the same right as you) then you should atleast spare her the sufference and be respectful.

You are not respectful to that woman, you are not respectful to the women you meet outside the relationship, you don't even respect her/them here.

Quote:
Now don't mind my girlfriend she knows my ways, and is too scared I'd leave her to give me any shit for seeing other girls


wow. Who you think you are? Somebody who's wasting her time and abusing her insecurities.

The way I see this forum is that it's a series of patterns to make ourself better people, more masculine and with more confidence and competence.

How you use those skills, that's up to you, but if you want to be good with girls the path always goes through being a better man.

I hope I am not breaking any rules, but the line I quoted makes me puke.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2016 7:38 am 
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You are a piece of shit.

Not for cheating on your girlfriend, but for blatantly abusing someone who's "too scared you'd leave her to give you any shit".

Fucking leave her if you want other girls. Or keep it to yourself. She doesn't need to "know your ways"

Christ.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2016 3:32 pm 
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R.C wrote:
You are a piece of shit.

Not for cheating on your girlfriend, but for blatantly abusing someone who's "too scared you'd leave her to give you any shit".

Fucking leave her if you want other girls. Or keep it to yourself. She doesn't need to "know your ways"

Christ.


This


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 10:49 pm 
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Gentlemen, calm down.

Perhaps I did not explain the situation properly, so let me provide you with some background.

R.C wrote:

Fucking leave her if you want other girls. Or keep it to yourself. She doesn't need to "know your ways"



First of all, I did try to leave her. Twice. And she wouldn't hear any of it.

I told her I wanted to see other girls and, after much pleading from her, I agreed with HER proposal that we remain in an open relationship until I involve myself into a committed relationship with another girl. Of course, no one knows we're in an open relationship since it's very uncommon here where we are from.

The relationship seems open only from my part, however, since she won't see or go out with any other guy, although I encouraged her to do so and she has plenty of options.

I have always supported and took care of her, even detrimental to my plans on seeing other girls and I'm always there for her when she needs me.

Furthermore, I have been upfront and honest with this whole thing, only sparing her the details about who I'm seeing and what I'm saying/doing, since she told me herself she's not interested in knowing, so I do not consider it lying, sneaking around or cheating as you so imply.

Quote:
Now don't mind my girlfriend she knows my ways, and is too scared I'd leave her to give me any shit for seeing other girls


I agree this was not the best or most tactful remark I could have wrote to explain the situation, however at the time being I was rather angry and did not think any of you would give a fuck about my "relationship" anyway to try to explain it properly.

I was needlessly contemptful regarding her and for this lack of tact I apologize.

R.C wrote:
You are a piece of shit.


I am and am not denying this fact.

As the saying goes “The biggest coward is a man who awakens the love of a woman without the intention of loving her” and for this I am truly guilty.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 10:54 pm 
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crevus wrote:
First of all, I did try to leave her. Twice. And she wouldn't hear any of it.
What was it? Gun to the head? She threatened suicide? She has proof to the crimes you've committed? Or is it that you don't have the balls to leave her?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 11:07 pm 
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Even though it did sound like you were sneaking behind your girl I'll
Play devils advocate.

Ever consider an open long term with your girlfriend ? You get to have fuck buddies on the side while having the main girl you want.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 6:40 am 
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JackZero wrote:
What was it? Gun to the head? She threatened suicide? She has proof to the crimes you've committed? Or is it that you don't have the balls to leave her?


Pretty much this.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 4:16 pm 
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Cheating is not cool. I did in the past, it only leaves people hurt, and most importantly - wastes both of you time.

If you don't want to be with your girl, have the balls to tell her, and move on. Living a double life is for cowards.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 4:26 pm 
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I don't see the problem. There doesn't have to be a gun or suicide or something extreme. If he is upfront with her and tells her that he wants to see other people and she doesn't accept that how is he in the wrong? Even if she kills herself and he was honest with her that doesn't mean he's in the wrong or that he should feel guilty. He wasn't the one to put the gun to her head.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 5:14 pm 
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masterm1ne wrote:
I don't see the problem. There doesn't have to be a gun or suicide or something extreme. If he is upfront with her and tells her that he wants to see other people and she doesn't accept that how is he in the wrong? Even if she kills herself and he was honest with her that doesn't mean he's in the wrong or that he should feel guilty. He wasn't the one to put the gun to her head.

The point is that he said that she wouldn't allow him to leave her after he tried twice. Please explain what type of circumstance forces you to stay in a relationship that you don't want to be in.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:13 pm 
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Well yea there is nothing forcing him to stay in the this "relationship" but at it's base its confused anyway and both parties are not on the same page. Either way he did express to some degree that he didn't want to be with her. Though one can argue you are in a relationship, I would tell you, you are not with this girl. I certainly wouldn't be or publically announcing to people that I am with her from what he's said.

The real question is why is he hanging onto this relationship if he doesn't want to be with her.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 9:41 pm 
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What? No gun to the head, suicide threats and whatnot, this isn't a movie.

I told her I didn't love her anymore and that I wanted to see other girls. She begged me not to leave her, even conceding I could see other girls as long as I'm with her too and I don't tell her about it (about the girls I'm seeing).

What was I to say? "No, it would hurt you too much, it's better we just part ways here"

Clearly you must have deduced from my previous replies that I'm neither that intelligent or mature to say this.

So I accepted, considering an open relationship, on the sole condition that we would break up once I fell in love with another girl.

Now, during our three year relationship we never had a fight, we would always support each other, sex was great and whenever we encountered an obstacle we'd get over it as a team. From afar we had a perfect relationship and she'd reinforce this each time she could.

But one day I realized I didn't have any feelings for her anymore. It came as a shock to her.

I had actually hoped she would too fall out of love with me, but the more I tried the more invested she'd get.

If I acted like an AFC, I was the sweetest boyfriend on earth.
If I was a jerk, she'd get so invested it would hurt.

All this is water under the bridge now, I broke up with her a couple of days ago, it was clearly wrong and hurting for her.

I'm just sorry I didn't do this earlier, I owed her that much.


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