Switch to full style
After the opener – running out of things to say, conversational topics, kino escalation, rapport, comfort building, transitioning.
Post a reply

Tinder frustrations

Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:48 am

Hi guys,

I’ve been using Tinder for about 3 weeks now.
I’ve been putting some effort in my swiping and I got about 100 matches so far.

About 20 of them were fake profiles spamming me. Let’s say I swiped right too fast on 25 of them (too ugly).
Which leaves me with 55 woman I can work my skills on.

From these 55 about 65% responds to my opener, which is always just the smiley face with hearts.
So I “started conversations” with about 35 of them.

Most of the convo’s end quite fast with them not replying anymore.
Most of the other convo’s take a lot of time before they actually answer.

I try to be “different, flirty, funny” however I feel this is really going nowhere.
And I always read you need to limit convo and try to go for meetups asap.

What’s your guys take on this?
Should I be more patient?
Should I try to go for longer convo’s?

Re: Tinder frustrations

Wed Mar 08, 2017 3:25 pm

The emoji is a little lame, where do you go from there?

Re: Tinder frustrations

Thu Mar 09, 2017 12:02 pm

Heywood Jablowme wrote:The emoji is a little lame, where do you go from there?


This is an overview of some of my convo's:

1. Opener: Nice Tank ;) (picture of her sitting on a tank)

Thanks or tanks ;)

:p You look like the nice type of girl

Is that ok?

Depends, I’m into adventurous stuff…

END OF CONVO

2. Opener: You look adventurous :)

You not then

Definitely. What flag is that (refering to her picture)

Iran

Nice! No idea you could Iran had powder skiing

And not even a little bit. Google “...”

Allright, again one for the bucket list.
Are you from Antwerp?

Orginally yes but i’ve been away

Are you always this talkative?

END OF CONVO

3. Opener: Love the hair!

Thanks :)

How is your monday going?

My monday sucks, I’m painting my floor, just had 3 layers and it’s not yet finished. I’m not happy with it being so much work.

Sounds like fun :p
Those things are always more work than you plan
Indd, sucks!

What are you doing?

Had a nice weekend, today some sauna time and an easy day at the office.

Sauna, sounds great!
What you do on office?


Sauna’s are amazing.
I’m in real estate

Exciting?

Yes I like it, very different each day…
You?

I’m a teacher, also exciting every day :)

What age?

I teach to 13 year olds
Gonna get some paint and talk to you later


Goodluck!

2 DAYS LATER I REINITIATE

And floored? :)

END OF CONVO

4. Opener: you seem 2 be a special flower, hello there:)

Hey, I bet you say that to all the girls.
As I have an early flight tomorrow I best get some sleep :) Have a nice week!


Well you owe me some then ;)
You just really seem different…
How is your monday going?

I really hate owing people anything haha. Had a really early morning and I’m not a morning person so you do the maths ;) Working day was euh interesting :D
On my way to a bday party now. How blue was yours?


Sounds like you could use a drink ;)
Mine was ok, since I’m on a non drinking challenge for 100 days, my mondays have stopped being blueish… Just got back from the gym and in for some chilling tonight.

I did have 2 drinks! Felt like I deserved them… 100 Days? Woah respect! What’s your story?

My story? Trying to hook up with Tinder newbies (she mentioned she is new and not looking for a hookup in her profile)

And how is that working out for you?

Will have to evaluate after us grabbing drinks…
How about friday?


NO RESPONSE
I REINITiATE 1 day later


2 fast e? Help me out here, might need to recalibrate if I plan on hooking up with an elder type of flower ;) (she’s 8 years older than me)

Does it usually work?

Going out for a drink? Sure, the whole point is meeting up with someone u like right? Or is this not Tinder?

END OF CONVO

5. Opener: smiley with hearts

:) Hej you

How are u dancing queen? (she had a nice photo of her dancing)

END OF CONVO

6. Opener: smiley with hearts

Hi! :)

Love your femininity, so sexy!

END OF CONVO

7. Opener: You found me + smiley with hearts (she super liked me)

Hahaha awesome

I’m looking at planetickets right now, what u think of 3 weeks Bali (she mentioned choosing plane tickets over material stuff, and traveling…)

END OF CONVO

8. Opener: smiley with hearts

Ohla you are a hip hip hipster ;)

Why?

END OF CONVO
I REINITIATE AFTER 1 DAY


You remind me of Grease :) (she has this hairstyle)

I just swiped you again, thought we were already a match?
Tnx, I cant tip Olivia Newton John though haha


We were definitely a match!
I’m no John Travolta either, althoug thats a good thing I guess…

Hahahaha
Hot men with all the botox and stuff


Oh yeah, is that your thing?
I’m also secretly hoping you are a real bimbo…
We might participate in Temptation Island next year (some crazy TV show)

Wahaha deal!

Let’s start with having a drink?

END OF CONVO

9. Opener: smiley with hearts

:)

Do you like soup? I make great soup! (she has a picture where she is eating soup)

A lot :)

What’s your favourite?

END OF CONVO

10. Opener: smiley with hearts

Sends me a gif met a girl saying hello

I like your hair more ;)

Thanks :)

You’re poem is awfull ;) (she has one in her profile)

Haha I know!
Are you such a great poet 2?


So I write her a short stupid poem

Sends me another gif with a girl saying WOW!
Nice one!


You owe me now

Haha that’s true
Shall I write you a poem?


I rather hear them…

END OF CONVO

11. Opener: I need your shampoo (she has amazing hair)

I like to share

No way, me 2
Let’s celebrate

END OF CONVO

12. Opener: smiley with hearts

Haha cute :)

I like your taste in clothing

Oh tnx, I just try some stuff

Its working ;)
So you are in real estate 2 (cfr her profile)

Yes, i do sales etc…
What do you do?


Well you can always show me arund in one of your houses.
At least if you are wearing that outfit on your profile pic ;)
I’m also in sales…

END OF CONVO

13. Wanna bet I am more comfy than your dog? (she has profile pic where she is lying on her dog)

Hahah
I believe you


Thats a good start :)
You seem very spontanuous and natural!
But your pictures dont give away alot, so now I’m curious…

END OF CONVO

14. Opener: smiley with hearts

Hej, tnx

How’s your monday?

Easy, working tomorrow. Just got back from a ski trip from Austria.
Yours?

Nice! Austria has the best apres ski. You ski or board?

Ski, but I was responsible for a bunch of kids so not much apres ski :) Do you ski?

Sure, I love it. Been doing it yearly since I was little… Will go on a trip end of march.

Oh nice, I wanna go again 2…

Did anyone tell you you had really cute feet (cfr a picture) :)

Haha, no you are the first :)

Good for me :)
Where you from?

Says town and you?

Say my town, do you come here often?

I do know it for shopping, but only the cliché stuff

Same for your town, we might show each other around ;)

You can always propose something…

I’m free thursday…

Ow I have a dance class… cant miss it cause i’m having a show soon.

A show? Tell me :)

Nothing special just for my students (I’m a teacher)

So no twerking I guess :) No seriously, I find a woman who can dance really attractive!

Tnx :) No not twerking, a better version of it :)

I’m quite curious for the better version of twerking :) You can also show me that :)

Haha I dont give many shows though

We could always just dance by ourselves…

END OF CONVO

15. Opener: smiley with hearts

:)

Do we still have time before you leave? I want to take you techno dancing in my “brand”shirt (cfr her profile about technomusic, travelplans and favourite clothing brand)

I dont have concrete plans yet. Haha thats nice.

Nice destinations though. Coincidence, they are all on my bucket list :)

Haha, we might be able to take care of that

Who knows, but first let’s discover my city. You have whatsapp?

END OF CONVO
1 DAY LATER REINITIATE


Are you from... ?

Sry for the late reply. I dont use whatsapp often. I’m from … yes.

You can make it up, I’ll think about how.
Love your accent, super sexy for woman!
How is it going for the rest?

Haha ok :)
Good, just got back from training.
You?


Concert of a friend. What you do for sport? I guess Zumba!

Nice.
No i’m into ballet.


Wauw, I was close :p
So blond, stylish and you can dance :)
Time you buy me a drink…

Hahaha you think?

I’m sure
How is your week looking?

Explains its full

Ok lets talk on whatsapp (forgot she didnt use it)

I dont use it ;)

Welcome in 2017 :)
You still use sms in … (part of the country where she come from)

I dont go along with time, too fancy

Then what are you doing on tinder?

I have no idea.

Well, you met me. So you see, progress also has its positive sides :)

Fantastic

Haha. We can discover my city thuesday. I pick you up at the station, lets say 7-8?

I have training

END OF CONVO

16. Opener: smiley with hearts

Goodmorning :) (she sended this in the afternoon)

Just out of bed? Wild night? to much gin?

None of both :D

Hmmm just lazy than? :)

Why would I be lazy?

Cause you said morning… nvm ;)
Did I spot frickles?

Aah ok, didnt notice. No I was already up early and at the office.
And yes I have frickes :)


I like!
Not so many photo’s e (she only has 2)

You got more indd. What is your job?

Haha good perception. I’m a consultant. You?
I’m guessing sales.

Yes! I’m an account manager.

And apart from that, you enjoy life with a little gin problem? (cfr her photo drinking gin)

Haha not really a problem but yes I like gin :)

Same here, we should go for one. I’m free thuesday evening.

END OF CONVO

Re: Tinder frustrations

Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:31 am

Hej guys,

Anyone with some spare time that could have a look at these convos?

Would greatly help me out!

Tnx!

Re: Tinder frustrations

Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:40 am

Tinder isn't for everyone. I think you need to find another outlet to meet women online. Seems like you are either trying too hard or not hard enough.

Re: Tinder frustrations

Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:03 pm

Alright, here's a few pointers.

1) Personally I'm not a big fan of emojis. Especially ":)", ";)" and ":p". Those are arguably the worst you can use when attempting to flirt.

2) You quality them. Too soon, and for no discernible reason. And it's what every other guy does. What does a nice type of girl even mean?

sapipa wrote:1. Opener: Nice Tank ;) (picture of her sitting on a tank)

Thanks or tanks ;)

:p You look like the nice type of girl

Is that ok?

Depends, I’m into adventurous stuff…

END OF CONVO

"You're definitely picking me up in that tank on our first date". That would've been my opener. That picture is a goldmine of conversation flow.

3) Same here, more or less. You realistically have little information to draw a conclusion like that. Even if her main pic is her skydiving it's still either you stating the obvious or grasping for straws. It comes of as boring at best and insincere at worst.
2. Opener: You look adventurous :)

You not then

Definitely. What flag is that (refering to her picture)

Iran

Nice! No idea you could Iran had powder skiing

And not even a little bit. Google “...”

Allright, again one for the bucket list.
Are you from Antwerp?

Orginally yes but i’ve been away

Are you always this talkative?

END OF CONVO

As a side note, asking someone if they're always so talkative as a means of encouraging them to talk is similar to asking the shy person if they're always so shy in an attempt to have them be more outgoing. It never works. In fact, it pushes them away even more.

3. Opener: Love the hair!

That's slightly better.

4. Opener: you seem 2 be a special flower, hello there:)

Hey, I bet you say that to all the girls.

That isn't. See? she even mildly calls you out on it.
11. Opener: I need your shampoo (she has amazing hair)

[i]I like to share

No way, me 2
Let’s celebrate

END OF CONVO

This conversation could've gone sexual real quick. I ask for her shampoo and she said she likes to share. That's a shower sex innuendo begging to happen.

Anyway, I won't go through all the examples because there's a lot of them, but aside from that, the underlying problem here is that you're talking. And that's pretty much it. Sure you're throwing in some drink here and there but you're doing it without foundation.
Look at your exchanges, you're hardly - if at all - flirting with these women.

I don't even remember the last time, if ever, I asked a woman where she works over tinder. Partially because I honestly don't care at this stage, but also because I see little value in that conversation. I prefer to joke around, roleplay or tease.

Re: Tinder frustrations

Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:58 pm

Op, keep trying, this is completely normal. Don't expect instant results...seems like most attractive girls on there (anything above a 6/10) gets hundreds of matches a day-literally. They may talk to you, but realize they are prob talking to other guys as well, and everyday get messages from other new men they may find interest in also. It's a numbers game and unless you look like Brad Pit, odds are going to be slightly against you since you are competing with other guys..it's just how it is.

Weird thing is I either have complete dry spells on tinder where I can't get a single girl to talk to me or I literally can't keep up with all the girls messaging me. It comes in waves.

I'd advise you to give Bumble a shot-only girls can message you if they really want to talk to you...I find my success rate 10x better on there...I don't even use tinder much anymore.

Lastly, if you're going for the real hot ones, pick up is always better in person. I've been doing the whole dating app thing for years and overall it's a huge headache...even if you finally land a date with one, they are still super picky since they have so many options and prob tons of dates lined up with other guys like yourself..I may sound slightly bitter but these apps often lead to disappointment...I have much better success in real life. If you have no other way to meet women then it's worth it I guess though. Just keep at it and keep your head up..

Re: Tinder frustrations

Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:04 pm

R.C wrote:Alright, here's a few pointers.

1) Personally I'm not a big fan of emojis. Especially ":)", ";)" and ":p". Those are arguably the worst you can use when attempting to flirt.

2) You quality them. Too soon, and for no discernible reason. And it's what every other guy does. What does a nice type of girl even mean?

sapipa wrote:1. Opener: Nice Tank ;) (picture of her sitting on a tank)

Thanks or tanks ;)

:p You look like the nice type of girl

Is that ok?

Depends, I’m into adventurous stuff…

END OF CONVO

"You're definitely picking me up in that tank on our first date". That would've been my opener. That picture is a goldmine of conversation flow.

3) Same here, more or less. You realistically have little information to draw a conclusion like that. Even if her main pic is her skydiving it's still either you stating the obvious or grasping for straws. It comes of as boring at best and insincere at worst.
2. Opener: You look adventurous :)

You not then

Definitely. What flag is that (refering to her picture)

Iran

Nice! No idea you could Iran had powder skiing

And not even a little bit. Google “...”

Allright, again one for the bucket list.
Are you from Antwerp?

Orginally yes but i’ve been away

Are you always this talkative?

END OF CONVO

As a side note, asking someone if they're always so talkative as a means of encouraging them to talk is similar to asking the shy person if they're always so shy in an attempt to have them be more outgoing. It never works. In fact, it pushes them away even more.

3. Opener: Love the hair!

That's slightly better.

4. Opener: you seem 2 be a special flower, hello there:)

Hey, I bet you say that to all the girls.

That isn't. See? she even mildly calls you out on it.
11. Opener: I need your shampoo (she has amazing hair)

[i]I like to share

No way, me 2
Let’s celebrate

END OF CONVO

This conversation could've gone sexual real quick. I ask for her shampoo and she said she likes to share. That's a shower sex innuendo begging to happen.

Anyway, I won't go through all the examples because there's a lot of them, but aside from that, the underlying problem here is that you're talking. And that's pretty much it. Sure you're throwing in some drink here and there but you're doing it without foundation.
Look at your exchanges, you're hardly - if at all - flirting with these women.

I don't even remember the last time, if ever, I asked a woman where she works over tinder. Partially because I honestly don't care at this stage, but also because I see little value in that conversation. I prefer to joke around, roleplay or tease.


R.C., thanks for taking the time.

I decided to stay away from Tinder for a while, not knowing what I'm really doing (gamewise) makes it extremely difficult to analyse yourself on an app like Tinder. Instead I will focus on game in real life ( just capped my 100th approach this weekend 8) ). I believe my text game will be easier to improve with woman I actually met since I already need to establish a foundation and will have a better understanding who I'm actually dealing with...

I noticed how difficult it is for me to actually "flirt", hell I even had to look up the word to know what it actually means.
Post a reply