To be clear I am a genuine guy and an outgoing one who flirts. Trouble is really having not met that many girls (who were also single) who I liked tbh. Anyhow I have a question about 2 girls, two people who I hit it off with back at university (where I couldn't avoid them) and who I fancied/am interested in sexually, but who were taken. Now they have become single. Only thing is logistically I no longer have the bachelor pad in the capital anymore. I'm a bit busy in life to date (both work and acting as a carer for a relative which is why I moved out in the first place), so I am looking for a sexual/fwb type relationship if I can with these two.
BOTH women are asian origin, more the innocent type/cute. They are very fun to those who know them more privately, and bubbly girls. I imagine they are very naughty and have seen this come out at times (even when they had bf's). I think they view me as a very flirty and genuinely suave gentleman. It's just how to meet them alone 1 on 1 (I would be happy with just that for starters) and then to having wild raunchy sex privately? I'll post the DETAILS as I want specific advice please, not generic stuff. Had they been single when we met, I would have flirted much more forwardly, but naturally out of respect (and being busy tbh), I just kept it light and since we hit it off, kept in touch. We're not besties by any means, but there is a rapport and chemistry that is there.
I met GIRL 1 at university who had a boyfriend who seemed to think highly of me and showed interest. Very outgoing and cute around me. Admired my personality/style etc. At the time I was more nervous around women and also concerned about passing my final exams lol. But either way she kept in touch and seemed to like me. Even though she seems to make lots of friends, I did feel like there was more of a rapport between us even though I spent LESS time with her and didn't do all the fb stuff everyone else does (in fact I'm not even on it now). Once she asked me to show her how to bowl/skate at this group activity (good sign right?) of all the guys there. I flirted, but lightly given her relationship status. She actually emigrated with him after graduating. She occasionally visited here and I met up (as part of a group, save for 1 occasion where I met her alone and discovered she was single, but had no place to go and bang, not to mention she was only seeing me for 2hrs before going to see her folks).
Used to OCCASIONALLY (not everyday) text now and again where she'd be super enthusiastic and want to hear about my life. Very fast responses, very long messages from her side, talkative etc. I kept it light. I guess even though I fancied her, I didn't compliment anything other than her personality or congratulate her if she had done something that impressed me. But she seemed to love and really appreciate personal compliments in person or in the occasional text. In person, very sweet rapport toward me - she's very cute. She admires my energy/drive and outgoing nature and thinks I'm a gentleman.
GIRL 2 is a mutual friend who is very cute in my view, though much more bubbly and outgoing from the get go. I definitely found it easier to flirt, given this, though again out of respect and time, I didn't pursue it further than that. But knowing her for less time, got to be on her priority list for invitations etc as well as her long term friends. I actually only caught up with this girl at those get togethers when GIRL 1 visited or such things, except maybe Girl 2's birthday. Though family illness and work meant I fell out of touch until this year where I got back in touch. To be clear, Girl 2, also had mentioned on the off text like new year's to let her know if I'm in town and that it's been ages since she saw me. Very excited. One thing is, she has never blue ticked me at all. (To be fair, girl 1 never did that till the last year and I think she did that to girl 2 and others as well lol. Women sigh...). I did fancy girl 2 too, though I guess just found myself drawn to girl 1. A threesome with both would be insanely hot.
3 YEARS LATER, girl 1 has actually moved back here as well as being single. In fact she had told me about this last year excitedly and mentioned "we can see more of each other hopefully!" etc. Also texted me on landing here. One thing is she is incredibly enthusiastic in texting, sometimes unbelievably cute to me with excited, long texts. In the last year though, she became less prompt time wise, but obviously read it (WhatsApp blue ticks), yet long responses. I felt pretty disrespected sometimes as I don't do this and tbh the girls I text don't do that (I can usually tell women who do this and wouldn't even give them the pleasure of knowing me). Girl 1 has said things like I'm on top for her etc. Oh and she ate a banana one day in front of me (her bf years) which I loved and wished I knew WHAT TO SAY??
I have the attitude of "I WANT TO BANG HER" /being sexual and playful - I guess I haven't had as much ground work in person with girl 1 since she has been abroad mostly and is only now single. But it's a question of logistics. See she lives in city C. I live in small town B. The capital is city A where other friends also live.
It's easiest for me to commute to the capital A. Trouble is I am trying to see Girl 1 alone and at least flirt/convey I like her and touch her more now. She keeps talking about meeting up and even throws in the whole "hope i can see you soon"/"Hope to see u soon" often. Asks me when I'm free. I actually did agree and said let's grab food, what's her schedule like", once when I had got back from a work trip. Yet got blanked for the first time ever. For a month. She has NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. So f**king rude of her. She actually gave some weird response and acted like it was totally normal just asking me how I am and saying work is busy. Yeah that's bs. I responded about a week later, (wondering what to say in this case as I never artificially wait) making a light joke of it, how she went awol and said another time maybe. This time she responded fast, said sorry, sent some insanely long message about enjoying her new job etc blah blah, asked me how I am again. I don't buy the busy thing though, my job is much busier and my other life and yet I will reply to friends or lovers promptly.
Irritated and feeling like I was GHOSTED by a friend, someone I cared about, I decided to start focusing on others. I contacted and met with a few friends, met another new girl. But anyhow, most importantly, I contacted GIRL 2. Again distance is an issue since she lives with her folks outside city A where I see her. No real place to bang, but I enjoy her company. I actually texted her, wasn't even trying that hard, but same style as with the other girl. Within the space of a few texts, arranged to meet up (by her telling me when she was free and responding lol). I planned and set up a place to meet. We had a good time, might even have been a date come to think of it, though I hadn't known she was single till I met her and found out! She kept playing with her hair and laughing (I kept thinking she must sound great in bed) and I flirted with a sexual line too at one point. Anyhow I found out she was keen to see me again, though off abroad and besides I was tied up with work. Sadly she went on a long holiday to see her grandparents in asia, but I am trying to arrange to see her now she's back when I have a free weekend (my work is pretty busy).
GIRL 1 texted me a day after I met girl 2. I wonder if she had posted our pics on fb?? Anyhow it was to let me know she would be in city A at a certain date (but far in the future). I wasn't sure in case it was a group thing, so asked what she was there for, she gave some response a week later! Very weird given she usually responds within about 60 seconds or few hours at most. And certainly only BLUETICKS my message when she is going to reply. Not what she was doing now and blueticking and responding later. Her last seen time updates btw on WhatsApp. I responded when I was free on the same day with something like yeah and threw in let's do something "the two of us". Same thing, read and ignored (or delayed response lol). A month later, I actually didn't initiate new years wishes and she did, she even flirted by text too. Something about our inside joke of being mischievous. One thing was though, she suddenly stopped replying.....Trouble was when it came to the proposed meet date.
A few weeks before, another girl (who I barely know, she's a mutual friend of girl 1 and girl 2 who I met at these group meets, but don't really like) set up a group text chat and asked who's free to meet the girl. In the event, out of 10 people, only the original sender was free. I noted girl 1 started replying to the group chat (this was 3 days after our text conversation) and then later in the evening replied to mine privately! The nerve.
So i had to contend with that nonsense (which I basically ignored until I was directly asked if I was free about 2 weeks later) and trying to arrange a solo meet directly by text. Basically I ignored the group chat for now, but was worried about looking unsociable in front of girl 2. I replied only directly to girl 1 and said again , the two of us.
But Girl 1 having been so excited to see me and having informed me privately first, asked me twice about don't I want to see the others with delayed responses. I was trying to ascertain what time she was free, she simply bounced back the question to me. So I picked a time (she was only in city A for a certain window). But I needed to know when she was leaving. I did mention, let's do a meal and maybe walk around this place along with some ice skating. In the end, she kept saying sounds like a plan, but asking me twice about don't I want to meet the other girl too?? I stuck to my seeing her line.
I acquiesced only once I asked my uncle indirectly for some advice when she still hadn't told me a time (I'm currently looking after him as he is sick, that's why I moved out of the city), who said be sociable and go for a group thing. I figured I might get to see her alone afterward. So acquiesced in the group chat. Partly because I'm also flirting with another GIRL 2 who was in the group chat and who I've met alone and didn't want to look unsociable by not replying at all to a direct question from this other random girl.
Then GIRL 1 started to reply privately asking me what time is good for me (sigh in circles! and they'd been discussing on that group chat for even longer without me lol). Suddenly out of the blue she asked me what I think of visiting this other friend in her town (further out for me than city A). I thought at this point, is she mad??! I gave her one last chance and asked her what time she's going there, trying to figure out how to just meet her separately or at worst some group meet back in the city afterward (which I was not keen on). I kept it light and flirty to which she responded to immediately saying let's set up a new group chat?! At this point it was obvious that she had planned something with this other girl privately. As to why I have to be involved in those plans, I have no idea.
Asking both girls about what time (I have to commute lol),No response not only from her but the other girl either more gibberish about the same so called plan (with no time).
In the end, I just messaged both the group chat and GIRL 1 separately, saying go ahead I'll see you some other time. I ignored her response (first time I ever did that) asking me why I can't make it in the group chat. She messaged me directly as well with a sad emoji. Usually her emoji's are more the happy/flirty kind lol. Again I just read it and ignored it.
GIRL 1 ended up organising another group event this time messaging the group, not me about who's free. I said I wasn't along with a few other ppl. Even when asked weeks later and just before their meet, I said, I'm busy, I'll see you another day in a very curt message. But one thing was that she actually messaged the group for a holiday, she SPECIFICALLY mentioned me with a wink face saying I know you're having a good time. It was an inside joke between us about being up to mischief. I replied there to wish everyone and privately messaged her a flirty thing. No response. But like I said on new year's, last year and many other times before that she has flirted (even when she had a bf) back. She did the same for my birthday in january, but messaged me on the group chat for some reason?! Wtf. But still a flirty message.
I wished GIRL 2 for something privately and kept in touch. Sadly the weekend I wanted to meet was that group weekend so I just avoided contact and later got in touch. I am currently in the process of organising a meet up with just her. Just wondering how to phrase it. The GIRL 1 nonsense hit my confidence lol. Even though with Girl 2 I seem to be successful lol. One thing is Girl 1 last year was like Girl 2. She was if anything even more flirty and sending much longer texts?! And saying she wanted to see me/miss you etc. She in fact kept inviting me to come see her when she was abroad too?!
Anyhow, given I did it last year when she was single, I sent some valentine msg to GIRL 1 along with other girls (not a mass text). Perhaps that was an error but never mind, she did reply, though a day later sigh with a long response). Girl 2 responded super fast, shorter replies, but flirtier. I later wished Girl 1 a happy birthday on 28th feb with a flirty message. Last year she actually started a long conversation with me which I was trying to get out of lol since it was my bedtime in my timezone. This time, she responded within 30 mins and a medium length message with a hope to see you soon at the end. I didn't reply fearing again a non reply.
I'm currently wondering what to do in terms of whether to text GIRL 1 and even with GIRL 2. H
How to respond how to meet her ALONE 1 on 1. Like I said, she does flirt and she does seem to be sweet toward me.
The banana thing or anything long when a female friend is eating, how to get them thinking about you know what
How to get sexual with friends who have become single when there is this logistical distance thing
How to compliment the physical appearance of said friends when you stuck to her personality to make her realize you think she is hot
I have a bit of cheekiness in flirting sometimes (with the mischief thing). I haven't typed all the texts either girl has sent, and I am weary you may simply say she is not flirting. But you have to take my word for it, that she is very friendly and too friendly to me to simply be disinterested completely. It's just it's so mixed of late in terms of response time.
I feel like there is something there sometimes and other times not. I flirted, and maybe got carried away given she is single all of a sudden. I wish she had been single when I had my bachelor pad in city A or when we met so logistics were better. But it's crazy.
I don't buy the blueticking me on WhatsApp and being busy if her last seen updates. Also that she doesn't always respond late. Yet her responses are so long and excited??! Other times she responds faster than when I can type (literally last year she came online WhatsApp before I could respond to her text fully!!). Another time last year, she had this slightly flirty and meaningful conversation (whilst she was abroad and texting me at 1am her timezone) about her new job, some playful competitive exchange banter and moving back here etc.
Wish I knew what to do or how to bang and stay friends. I mean GIRL 2 responds when she reads (so she may bluetick me either a few hours or day later, but replies then. She doesn't read me and ignore or delay). GIRL 1 and 2 seem flirty, so bubbly it's hard to tell. GIRL 1 went with the solo meet with no question asked. GIRL 2 seems to want to see me, flirt and plan just with me, but when it comes to coming to city A, suddenly I'm the optional extra??? WTF?
Please advise? Also pls note these are both innocent girls who are fun (I IMAGINE THEM TO BE VERY DIRTY AND WANT THEM TO BE WITH ME), but innocent in public who have had only 1 bf and from fairly traditional asian families. I do flirt and am known to be a GENUINE gentle guy who is very fun and very flirty. But I generally keep private and don't share my information about dating etc with everyone on fb etc.
One more thing, why would girl 2 want to see me, miss me etc and then be so disorganised later on? I obviously asked her the first time round with the month response moment what her diary looked like in order to meet up (I had attached the let's grab some food type text with it). So wtf with the reading it and taking so damn long??
ADVICE ON SLEEPING WITH female friends who have become single would be appreciate in general, but preferably SPECIFIC advice with these two and on conveying attraction to them. Further details (lol) can be provided on request possibly if necessary. Please read details and I hope to hear some expert advice. Like I said, with new girls, I find this easier, it's with girls like this it's hard literally and I want them to suck on this hardness