Spark
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Ellicott City
Reputation: 12.5  
votes: 2
|
 Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:47 pm Post subject: Just a thought... |
 |
|
Many people are in some way, shape or form, concerned with the way that others view them. To some people, a negative judgment or basement from another person is enough to deeply damage confidence or push the person further into the realm of shyness. Rejection is certainly not a good feeling, but many people take the idea of rejection to heart and believe that their image is a negative one and there is nothing that can be done to change that perspective. However, that is not true.
Looking at a variety of social concepts and theories, I have come up with a theory. Merging the ideas of "looking-glass self" and "force of personality", it's should not only be quite possible for a person to change the current perspective that other have of them, but to completely shape a new personality or reality that others will accept and enforce.
First, let me break down the idea behind the theory of looking-glass self. The basic premise is that a person views himself in terms of society’s perception of him, and in turn, he gains a sense of identity or personality. This concept usually starts at an early age and is present through a person’s life, constantly allowing the person to make alterations to their actions and thoughts. This is why people usually act slightly different with different groups of people, because of how the individual views himself through the eyes of the group. Complex, right? Well, the important part is to remember three parts to the equation:
- We imagine how we appear to others
- We imaged the judgment of that appearance
- We develop ourselves through the judgment of others.
(Yeung, 2003)
Now, force of personality is a much trickier concept to define. I am going to explain it in the way that I view it. Force of personality occurs when an individual has an extreme amount of confidence and an extremely solid frame. That individual is then able to influence others to listen to or follow him. How that person uses the influence he has is up to them, but confidence and a solid frame (two different concepts) are key.
Having those forces at a person’s disposal, that person can now create his own personality or change a current one that exists. **Note, this is not a recipe for changing inner game (although the concepts do help). This is a technique for changing the perspective that others to what you want them to think.
Using force of personally (even if you have to fake it a bit to get jump started) can convince people that you know what you want and have a solid plan. And people follow confidence and charisma. Here is the cool part; if you can successfully demonstrate that you have confidence in a group setting, social proof beings to occur. When people being to perceive you as confident, that reflects back to you and reinforces your own confidence, which is shown to the group, which is reflected back to you...etc. Point being, it’s an inverse cycle to gain social status and proof and have it be reinforce with the same concepts that usually are used to drag a person down.
Just a theory, but it’s something to consider. If anyone sees any holes in the idea or just have questions, by all means send me a message or post. |
|
