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 Post subject: Coming Back
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 7:06 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:12 pm
Posts: 34
Location: Sacremento, California
Well, I'm coming back. I learned some social skills here from lurking and occasionally posting in high school. Now that I'm feeling unfulfilled in my sexual life in college, I knew where to go.

When I used this site the last time with any frequency, putting something down to print helped me crystalize some thoughts, frustrations, and ideas, plus get a bit of feedback that was really helpful. Despite a shady reputation in pickup, I remember the pick up community here as being supportive and very realistic. I think posting here will help me ground myself in self-expectation and help me progress towards an end goal of motivating myself to improve my social skills to the point where I can *employ social tactics and identify emotional reactions on the fly in the interest of attracting friends and partners wherever I am.* (The Goal)

Who am I now?
I'm an engineering student at a large state school. I'm pretty self aware, and I know that I want to meet people and find fun, non serious relationships in the next two years I'll be spending here. I'm athletic, and generally outgoing. Or I can be. I know that I can put myself in an outgoing frame. Frames are really more important than who or what, because they become reality.
Some of my favorites:
People want an opportunity to meet me, I just have to offer it.
There is no hurry, because nothing is more important than experiencing this moment. There is no pause, because the next moment is always coming, with new experiences, new opportunities. No hurry, no pause.
Beauty is fleeting, impermanent. I want to spend my time with the adventurous, the spontaneous, and the supportive. I am those things; will the girl or guy in front of me? Will they try?

I'll close with a sticking point, two actually. I still remember most of the PUA lingo. I've also recently read Neil Strauss's The Game. I read a lot, when I should be practicing a lot. But I get stuck. Most of my approaches are day game approaches. But I often feel like I'm running out of interesting conversational topics. Or I just don't approach in the first place.

The approach thing I should try to solve by building that "social momentum" from talking to strangers. Anyone who looks at me and is within talking range. But as for girls I feel nervous talking to them if they're just walking around school. Which is stupid. But hey, so is approach anxiety. I used the "where is X" opener for a few weeks, and it actually worked quite well, got a bunch of number closes, which I was surprised by. I could probably keep using it and asking about a random building on campus that I've "never heard of." I think it worked well because I'm attractive, and it was relatively innocuous, and put the target in a state of trying to help me find X, so it was disarming too. I could try to use another situational or opinion opener, but I guess they make me nervous, which is probably a good reason to get used them anyway and overcome that anxiety.
Resolution: I'm going to scan through a few opinion/situational openers, pick 1-3, practice them in front of a mirror, and try them out.

Second sticking point: the conversational desert.
I think I honestly just need more practice talking to strangers. I'm pretty good at making interesting conversation when I'm comfortable, so the more comfortable I get, the better I'll probably get. But like the above, practicing a routine will probably help. I think I should practice delivering a stack of opinion openers and personality reads. People like hearing about themselves right?

That wraps it up, plus my fingers are tired. Okay! Time to go be outgoing and stuff.
Cheers, wish me luck!

_________________
The Goal: Be able to 1) employ social tactics and 2) identify emotional reactions in the interest of attracting friends and partners wherever I am.
The System: Be present, practice, and keep my objectives in mind.


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