Improving general conversation skills


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:35 am 
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Does anyone know any products that are great for conversation skills?
Not necessarily P.U.A But my social skills suck and I never know what to say to people.

P.U.A teaches to interact on a higher level but to be honest I'm coming off as creepy since I can't even hold a normal conversation as it is.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:35 am 
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Have you ever had a normal conversation with a human being in your entire life? Of course you have.

There are no products.

Practice with everyone you know. Communicate more even if it's just with your mother.

Take baby-steps. Small talk with the cashier. Small talk with everyone. For now, just worry about that. You'll notice how the small talk alone will drastically improve your social skills - mostly due to the fact that you'll be extremely comfortable being in the state of 'talking to people'.

If you actually put your time and energy into small talk, you'll notice how all your other conversations will flow so much easier already.

Don't look for products. They will tell you the same as the ^above, or something similar, and then leave you to actually executing it.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:44 pm 
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I'm not particularly great either with conversational skills but I've been looking it up and can tell you the gist of what most people say (these are general, not aimed at pick up).

The core of it is:
Realise that it is literally impossible to run out of things to say. When you think you have nothing to say it is because your brain does not rate you or your thoughts as of high enough value to receive the other persons validation. Like most of Pick-Up, conversational problems are really mainly down to inner game. Don't seek validation, have an unshakeable frame that you are high value and whatever you say is the coolest/funniest/most interesting thing ever. Give value, don't suck it in. Learn to create stories or talking points that create a good vibe out of the most trivial things. It's amazing how much around you dont see or forget simply because your boring brain hasn't turned it in to something funny or interesting. There is amusement/intrigue in everything! Actually LISTEN to people and create a connection with their thoughts or interests you value but challenge them on things you disagree with or don't like. Slow down your voice and speak louder. This make it seem like you really believe in what you are saying. Improve your voice tone and get rid of like..yeh..any like filler words. These words clue people up that you don't know what your are saying or that you are low value. Speak to people because they or the content of the conversation interests or amuses you or you really want to find out what they are like. That last sentence is all you need for a reason to go talk to someone when your brains being that fucking 'naa bro, what reason do you have to talk to her/him' guy. AMUSEMENT, CURIOSITY and ADVENTURE. All you need to drive you. With girls remember that you need to lead the conversation and your tonality has to be more 'command and challenge' style, early on at least. Get people to invest in and qualify themselves by your interests and thought/feelings. Use things like intrigue, or cocky funny or innuendo to bump the temperature or generate emotion in the conversations. If you know the person already then talking about previous good shared experiences creates comfort and a strong connection really easy.

You can try little exercises like writing down 10 things that really interest you, 10 qualities you expect other people to demonstrate that would impress you or little games like word association. Most of this seems kinda like theory and I still think...yeh but how do I do actually do this. Some people just seem to instantly make a funny joke out of something and I'll be like....where did they think of that? How? My brain was just blank. For people who are good conversationally they started out looking for funny or interesting and were probably as slow as people who are poor conversationally. Just after a while it becomes subconciously embedded, like changing gear while driving a car. Just takes time and decent feedback through being aware of what you are communicating.

Kinda just blurted that out of my brain so it could be a lot of waffle.
tl;dr: Stop giving a fuck and amuse yourself


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:35 pm 
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Do not fall in to this trap. The real communication truth, like 60's theory, is we don't need to say much, we just need to listen with a poker face and hold eye contact. We just need to bear the silence moment and watch the people in front of us fidgeting.

Through learning MM, I fell into the trap that I need to say something (either neg, dhv, interesting things, qualify questions, etc.) to make the conversation going. Then I became the one who could not bear silence and began to fidget. I also became the one who think I could say some intelligent words and interrupt her speaking. The result is really bad.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:37 pm 
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Read "How to Make Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie if you already haven't.

Core book for life.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:43 pm 
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Kasabi wrote a post about that and explained an exercise that i´ve done for a couple of weeks.

Get a paper
and
for 10 minutes
write down all of your thoghts WITHOUT THINKING
just write write write and write


with a bit of practice you´ll see that words will come out automatically :wink:


Last edited by izumi on Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:43 pm 
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What to say in a group? According to 60's theory, we just need to be silence and look at girls we like. This is the secret.

I have some male friends really good at making "interesting" and "high value" speech. Before I read 60, I just looked at them, fidgeted and worried about what to say.My value dipped.

Now I do not pay even one attention to them. The only thing I do is look at girls' eyes and face. You know what happened? The girls will look back to me and smile. Then I will automatically smile back. This the communication beyond words!!! Girls are not stupid, they are as impatient and annoyed as I am when listening to these so called interesting and high valued retarded stories. I know it is on if she looked at me again and hold it. The result is that I can ask her out whenever I want and I can ask for escalation and she will just accept it.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:50 pm 
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One tip: Do not make a curious face when listening. The best thing to do is to make no expression.

I have memories and experiences when other people made a curious face to me when I was talking. I just think they were not genuine, they were faking and chose not to accept their patience. Do you guys have the same experiences?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:00 pm 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6I26OKV ... 527ADA6CE7


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:11 pm 
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If you want to keep the conversation going. In the silence time, just look at her with no expression. You will find it is so amusing to see a girl fidgeting, worried and make up things to say, or make things up to make you say something in front of you. The only thing you need to do is to hold this silent moment to create attraction and seduction. She will be into you.

The mind set becomes you are the king, she is the subordinate trying to get your approve.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:17 pm 
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Women are not stupid. Most of them have the equivalent education as you have and have seen the world as you have seen. Do you really think you can say something to make her into you?

How animals woo? How human woo when there is no language?

Be realistic.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:28 pm 
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Communication is just one important thing. Never treat it as the most important.

MM still have many good things. We can avoid to say DLV things and we can say some canned lines after sex.

We need to say less and hold eye contact when talking. Let your eye contact and your state make her into you. This is the real communication skills.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:15 am 
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Once heard a person say, you get people skills from being around people. That's bullshit, especially if they are bad people.

If want good people skills you want 1.) Be pleasant and people will want to be around you. 2.) Respect. Demand it and give it. Golden Rule 3.) Ask questions. Try to understand people. 4.) Develop Trust by behaving consistently with other people. 5.) Work on your Mouthpiece. Delievery and how you say things means so much.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:43 pm 
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IwantEasyLove wrote:
Once heard a person say, you get people skills from being around people. That's bullshit, especially if they are bad people.

If want good people skills you want 1.) Be pleasant and people will want to be around you. 2.) Respect. Demand it and give it. Golden Rule 3.) Ask questions. Try to understand people. 4.) Develop Trust by behaving consistently with other people. 5.) Work on your Mouthpiece. Delievery and how you say things means so much.


I have to say it is not wrong about what you say, but it is really not helpful. Try to read 60's stuff. He has a blog which has many free good stuff I have ever seen. Search Natural Attraction Blog.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:41 pm 
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The question was how to improve social skills, and yet most people advise the OP to 'be silent' and let the girl do the talking.

Just meeting a girl and immediately staring at her in silence will not make her panties dripping wet.

I suggest the 60yoc fans actually try the method and calibrate accordingly before giving textbook advice that they don't even understand.

OP, why are you avoiding the idea of actually starting to talk to people? Like mentioned earlier, try small talking as a first step. Next time you go to the store and ask the manager about those sour Skittles you like, comment on something irrelevant to the purchase. Ask her how her day has been. Ask her if mixing Skittles and Coke will make your house explode. ANYTHING.

Short. Quick. Eject.

Get used to the idea of talking to strangers at first. No agendas. A simple comment to 2-3 strangers per day will do wonders for your social skills.

When you feel ready to take the next step, take those conversations a little further and actually start a concrete topic, etc.

Before you know it, you will be having flowing conversations with people and not even realize it until you're half way home.

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