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PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2015 1:51 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:28 pm
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Hello there!

I'm essentially seeking opinions out there, on a situation where I'm unable to determine why what's happened, has happened.

Essentially I met a girl where I work, we seemed to get on pretty well so I invited her out for drinks, in total we went out for drinks three times. She appeared to be very interested in me based on both her body language and words.

The second time that we went out, afterwards we went back to my flat to watch a movie afterwards, during the movie we cuddled up and started to make out once the credits came on. Sadly, she didn't stay despite it being 2am and she called a taxi saying that she "had rules".

The third time went very much the same way, drinks, movie, making out followed by leaving due to work in the morning. She appeared interested as she beat me by a split second to initating the making out.

I gave it a day's grace, before inviting her out again however she didn't respond for two days. I did not and was not going to chase. I would leave it there. When she did respond she sent three long messages, mostly garbage about going to the gym/library however the third message stated some "lets just be friends thing".

She stated that she though it was strange that we had only communicated over facebook and had not exchanged numbers.

I responded by messaging her my phone number, telling her that I had no interest in being just friends and that she should text me if she changed her mind and we'd do something awesome probably involvng beers. Then I unfriended her. (I have no interest in anything to do with her as "just friends" and she needs to know that).

I'm not sure why this happened, there was no weak or beta behaviour, so I don't know why this happened. I have two theories.
Either, leavng one day between our final date and messaging her about another was not quite enough and put her off.. but if she was interested this would surely not matter?
Or, she's decided to get serious with somebody else? It's probably that. I'm experienced enough to know I haven't made any mistakes.

I'm wondering whether people agree with my approach and analysis?

I do not intend ever contacting her again (unless she texts me following my statement).

I have a date with somebody else tomorrow, who will hopefully be more awesome.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2015 4:37 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:58 pm
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Location: Nashville
Alright here is what I am thinking based on my experiences with online game. When you take a girl out and you don't give her your number and you end up making out and stuff. She thinks she isn't important to you because you'd give her your number.

Women are skeptical when they meet someone online anyways. If you met online and hung out you definitely should have given her your number or vice versa so you'd have a better point of contact. That is kind of part of the comfort building process.

Girls who want a relationship with a guy after 2-3 dates with him are going to want to have his phone number. #1 I am not sure why you waited that extra day and didn't talk to her. Girls are just as insecure as we are at times and she may have start to over analyze things like why doesn't she have your number. Girls do this A LOT and especially if they start talking to their friends after this, many times their friends get in their heads too.

Things were going great but I think she wasn't completely comfortable with you although attraction was most certainly there. There was something she felt "off" about. She start analyzing things too much. That stuck out in her mind as to not having your number. She fixated on it. This is the end result.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2015 6:02 pm 
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Sounds like you bored her to me. Drinks, movie, make out after movie. All that sounds good from a perspective, but she knows what to expect with you now. I know you think that she's the one putting the brakes on the end of the evening with an excuse, but you're not escalating at a good pace. IMO, a movie is an excuse to get her over to your flat and she knows that too. For the sake of consistency, you should start the movie but you really shouldn't be sitting there watching the movie...you should be starting your make out session before the plot begins (Tip: Right before the movie starts tell her to look at you and when she does lean in and kiss her on the lips). All the movie should be is background noise while you escalate to sex.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 10:41 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:28 pm
Posts: 175
Quote:
Alright here is what I am thinking based on my experiences with online game. When you take a girl out and you don't give her your number and you end up making out and stuff. She thinks she isn't important to you because you'd give her your number.

Women are skeptical when they meet someone online anyways. If you met online and hung out you definitely should have given her your number or vice versa so you'd have a better point of contact. That is kind of part of the comfort building process.

Girls who want a relationship with a guy after 2-3 dates with him are going to want to have his phone number. #1 I am not sure why you waited that extra day and didn't talk to her. Girls are just as insecure as we are at times and she may have start to over analyze things like why doesn't she have your number. Girls do this A LOT and especially if they start talking to their friends after this, many times their friends get in their heads too.

Things were going great but I think she wasn't completely comfortable with you although attraction was most certainly there. There was something she felt "off" about. She start analyzing things too much. That stuck out in her mind as to not having your number. She fixated on it. This is the end result.
Thanks for the insightful response, we met through work we just only communicated via facebook messenger as opposed to exchanging numbers, it never crossed my mind as sending a message from my phone using facebook rather than SMS, well they seem to be the same thing to me, however I see what you're saying about exchanging numbers being an important symbolic step in the comfort building process, and it's something I'll definitey take on board for the future.

Hmm so you're saying that why she's attempted to friendzone me is more likely to be a result to her feeling uncomfortable about things and over analysing rather than having decided to get serious with somebody else? I agree the signs of attraction were definitely there, in the 70-80% range which is why I was very surprised to recieve the message. I know she's pretty insecure though which does fit with your analysis. The good news is that if she does have a tendancy to overthink things, my response and subsequent total absense is definitely the right way to have gone about things.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 4:31 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:37 pm
Posts: 28
Quote:
Hello there!

I'm essentially seeking opinions out there, on a situation where I'm unable to determine why what's happened, has happened.

Essentially I met a girl where I work, we seemed to get on pretty well so I invited her out for drinks, in total we went out for drinks three times. She appeared to be very interested in me based on both her body language and words.

The second time that we went out, afterwards we went back to my flat to watch a movie afterwards, during the movie we cuddled up and started to make out once the credits came on. Sadly, she didn't stay despite it being 2am and she called a taxi saying that she "had rules".

The third time went very much the same way, drinks, movie, making out followed by leaving due to work in the morning. She appeared interested as she beat me by a split second to initating the making out.

I gave it a day's grace, before inviting her out again however she didn't respond for two days. I did not and was not going to chase. I would leave it there. When she did respond she sent three long messages, mostly garbage about going to the gym/library however the third message stated some "lets just be friends thing".

She stated that she though it was strange that we had only communicated over facebook and had not exchanged numbers.

I responded by messaging her my phone number, telling her that I had no interest in being just friends and that she should text me if she changed her mind and we'd do something awesome probably involvng beers. Then I unfriended her. (I have no interest in anything to do with her as "just friends" and she needs to know that).

I'm not sure why this happened, there was no weak or beta behaviour, so I don't know why this happened. I have two theories.
Either, leavng one day between our final date and messaging her about another was not quite enough and put her off.. but if she was interested this would surely not matter?
Or, she's decided to get serious with somebody else? It's probably that. I'm experienced enough to know I haven't made any mistakes.

I'm wondering whether people agree with my approach and analysis?

I do not intend ever contacting her again (unless she texts me following my statement).

I have a date with somebody else tomorrow, who will hopefully be more awesome.
NO, she LJBF'D you because you didn't sexually escalate. on the first date she was down for sex, she wouldn't have came to your place otherwise. You just didn't make her horney and sexually escalate. her vagina then rationalized that you are not a man who is sexual. And so she gave you the ''lets just be friends'' speech.

Count your lucky stars though, because you don't want to get involved with a woman at work, it's a nightmare. Especially if it's a field you would like to excel in.

The weak beta behaviour was LACK of sexuality in your interaction with her. Soak it up to experience, and move on to the next girl. don't make the same mistake with your next date, risk getitng REJECTED or risk getting ''LJBF'D''

Her ''rules'' are just a shit test.

Report back what happens.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2015 1:37 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:09 pm
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Website: http://www.authentic-attraction.com
I think you became too predictable. She already "got" you, so there was no need for her to continue
the thing with you.

Whenever you give your WHOLE SELF to women too quickly, they get bored and they are off searching
another guy who will not bore her that quickly.

When you give yourself all, it's like taking a bucket of ice cold water and spilling it on the flame of
attraction.

When you two made out at your place after the movie, you should have said, "I think we should slow
down..." and BEAT her at her own game.

Dude, if you want to keep the attraction with women, you need to learn to be a CHALLENGE to women.

Be CHALLENGING.

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