OK so basically last night I realized why I have started feeling a bit crappy when not around people/my GF.

Things between us are pretty much perfect...we never have bad fights or even squabbles. There is a healthy sex life and she is pretty much been brilliant and although I've had a few minor jelousy issues, I havent let them rear their head to her.

Thus, because of how great things are...my real fear in life is losing her. I can't imagine things ever being so well connected and peaceful with another woman. It actually scares me the thought of ever having to move on.

There are no reasons to feel like this, shes an honest lady and loves me. I just dont understand why I get these feelings?

My next issue is something I KNOW I need to rid myself of because it is silly. Earlier this morning I was getting some breakfast and ran into some of my GF's friends. It seems they're picking out somewhere to go for a week on holiday at the end of this month. They're going to ask my GF.


I've never had to deal with this scenario before, my EXes have always been significantly less attractive (pre pua reading material) and less out going. So this is kind of a difficult thing to handle. In fact I have seen the error of my methods...I pretty much passed up a holiday with some friends thinking it might be a bit soon into a relationship to be going away for a while.

If my GF does plan to go...more the fool me for not!


I think I have identified the major issue with my frame anyway, so I'd like some help on how to stop feeling like I could never have someone so special and nice if it came to and end. And also how to deal with my GF going on holiday for a week (I dont want her to go!).

Thanks.

Plus...

This may be the cause of this anxiety re: the holiday?

- In my last relationship which lasted 2 years I was cheated on by the girl. We had a row over a meal which turned nasty in a bar. I stormed off only to come back later that evening to find out she had fucked some guy in a club toilet. Although I am completely over this relationship (and the girl I am with now is amazing) it did screw me up a lot at the time.

So, I understand your question is, How to stop feeling crappy when your girlfriend is doing fun things? (and you are not!?)

if so...

Do more fun things then her

Kinda in the same situation as you. Finally found a girl that i fit so fucking perfectly with, and can never imagine finding another if it ever came to that. Even though I've been with many other girls previously I can't imagine it; although never connected at quite a deep level.

In my opinion, if it ever does come to that point - for you or for me - it's going to suck; bad (unless something/ series of bad things happen between gf + you, same goes for me) even though I don't see that happening, and I doubt you do either.

Anyhow, ya it'll probably hurt no matter what if it comes to that, and it'll take a fair bit of time and getting back out in the field for that to get better.

In my situation my girls going to college an hour away, same college I am, but she's going 4 months before I do.
Just trying not to think about it for now, and if something does happen, I know in the back of my head that I'll have to force myself to move on.

When you really connect so well with someone, spend so much time, invest so much into them; there's no way in hell it can be made easy if they leave your life for one reason or another.

Just know it can be done (the moving on if need be), but try to live in the moment -as I am trying- and take each day for itself.
Worrying about the future will do no good but give you anxiety and possibly contribute to ending your relationship early.
But who knows, it might never end, that's probably what you hope, and I know that's what I hope, but fact is no one knows what's going to happen. Take life as it comes to you.
Best of luck buddy. Enjoy the time to the fullest, just know there's other girls out there; as hard as it may be. I know how ya feel!

Edit: for the having fun without gf part, took me a few months to work that out. For me, I just started trusting her a lot after certain things happened and basically I'm not sure why, but I didn't care if I was with her or not i would still be at "peace", not thinking about what she was doing 24/7; just able to enjoy myself. Try to do things you like, talk to friends, do whatever the hell you want I feel like it'll pass; at least it did for me.

Thanks for the input Drew, its good to hear I'm not alone! I will definitely take the enjoying it one day at a time approach.

What do you guys think re: the holiday issue?

I really need pep talked on this.


Thanks