I don't know where else to turn.

Aqua and Red · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:13 am Post subject: I don't know where else to turn.

I don't know where else to turn, the PUA community has helped with my confidence before - but these days I just have none.

I'm a nineteen year old kid that is still in Highschool (I'm a junior) and I just feel like my life is going nowhere.

I guess I feel like I have to explain everything to everyone - I don't know how else to get it across.

How can I be confident when I feel like I have nothing to be confident about?

96Firebird · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:08 am Post subject:

Do something that will make you proud of yourself.

P.I.M.P · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:22 pm Post subject:

Hey Buddy,

I know sometimes it is hard, with all the highschool drama and stuff to. If your looking for some material to help you out take a look at this:

Theres 3 things I think you take a look at right now:

1) David Deangelo Deep Inner Game
2) The Secret (The Law of Attraction)
3) Anthony Robbins

Honestly, I suggest that you just change your whole mental attitude around, after hearing some of ross jeffries stuff when I see a hot girl in one of my classes thats a target of mine I see "Me being 40 feet tall, laid back, and the prize".

I think you just have to change your way of thinking and start being positive about life in general. Take a look at those 3 things there though I guarantee you'll get something great out of each of them.

ChocolateThunder · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:55 pm Post subject:

It's definitely a tough place to be and I think we've all been where you've been. PUA_Ace is right too - the RJ stuff is awesome.

Can I ask, what did the community do before to help and why can't that help in this instance too?

Here's the key - low self confidence isn't something you've got, like blue eyes or an Xbox. It's not a thing or object. Low self confidence is something that guys get really good at recreating over and over again through practice. And like any habit or activity the more you practice it the better you get at it and the harder it is to break. It's like the story of Larry Bird doing a commercial where he had to miss a shot and it took like a hunderd takes because try as he might he just couldn't miss! Razz

Think about that and decide what you'd like to practice. That's the first step to breaking that old disempowering habit.

Aqua and Red · Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:27 am Post subject:

I guess I started out where a lot of people start in the PUA community.

Reading Neil's book, and then I've read some other stuff after that...

Swingcat's Guide, Magic Bullets, Brad P's fashion bible, one of Juggler's e-books (which I'm liking a lot right now)

Like, for the first couple weeks I started using PUA techniques and talking to girls - it was going great.

But I just feel like I have some very limiting self-beliefs, even though I've had success in the past with girls (lots, without even trying)

But I feel like I'm not good enough to be cocky/funny about anything.

I guess it's hard to explain - because it's a lot of things going on at once in my head.

Edit: And thank you all - you're all a great help. I really love the PUA community and how helpful you all are.

ChocolateThunder · Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:53 am Post subject:

Some interesting points here.

Why don't you feel 'good enough' to do cocky/funny? What would be your purpose in doing c/f? If you're getting the girls why do you even need it? Why is doing c/f a benchmark for success or improvement for you?

What would you have to see and experience to feel confident (If being effortlessly successful with women isn't enough Razz

)

Aqua and Red · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:45 pm Post subject:

I guess the whole c/f thing needing to be a part of my success is because my one friend who is very adept at picking up chicks has somewhat of a c/f personality.

Back in the day I saw us as equals, but now he is really far ahead of me in game.

----

Lately there's this one girl and her sister that we've both been hitting on. I have the sister to work with and he has the chick.

And I just feel really awkward around here - not knowing what to say.

That and my friend is always joking around about me and I don't know how to react to it. I know he's just joking around and being my friend - but he's got his target like....eating from his hand - even if he says something that's not even that funny, she takes it as fact. And I can't argue with her on it.

She believes everything he says - it's actually kind of scary.

kvee · Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:55 am Post subject:

i think the problem is your not happy.. when your happy and in a good mood and confident conversation is natural .. and you practice your conversation to get better at it... really game is being able to have a really fun interesting conversation simultaneously showing your traits as a more confident alpha male to the female... You know what helped me a lot with talking to people?? I got a sales job at an energy company... I had to sell energy to people off the street( I would set up a table at kroger or some grocery store or book store and convince people the buy more expensive but green energy then their other energy company) How the hell could i get a guy to switch energy companies ive only known for 5-10 minutes to a more expensive energy company? It's confidence.. knowing what the hell you are talking about and being convincing... Make sure you take multivitamins, work hard in whatever you do and you feel happy and if you conversational skills suck keep trying to talk to people, observe your friend who is good with girls and pick up the good habits he portrays observe and learn and practice and work hard in whatever you to keep your self busy and happy.. trust me this works because I too have self limiting beliefs from time to time.. but you have to get over it and know you can do it...

speed-bird · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:45 am Post subject:

The worst thing you can do is allow a loss of confidence to lead to a reduction in the amount of talking you do. Talking is something that gets better with practice, and you can get out of shape in conversational skills just like you can in terms of physical fitness. You gotta keep talking.

On the subject of physical fitness, that's something that you can boost relatively easy and will have a good effect on your happiness levels. It's hard at this time of year, but making the commitment to go to the gym and do that workout or go for that run or bike ride can give you a nice quick rush of endorphins after the workout, and that'll make you feel good for a short period of time. Do it on a regular basis and you'll get the endorphins for days on end plus you'll get yourself into shape. Being fit makes you feel good about yourself.

A healthy body and a healthy mind go hand in hand, I always say.

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