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Unmotivated
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 Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:05 am Post subject: How do I handle her? |
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Quick summary: A girl in class who I dated during my afc days. We stopped dating, I changed, now she's interested again.
Lately I've been really successful at building her attraction towards me, but there is still an awkwardness between us. In particular, she always has closed body language towards me... Like she will come sit next to me in class but then turn her back towards me and lean forward (away from me). We have a hard time starting conversation with each other. Sometimes I think of a little neg/prank thing to do on her to amp up the energy/mood, but she almost always takes it seriously. For example:
- In drawing class, I told her that she had charcoal on her face "right... there" and wiped some on her face with my finger... she said "oh thanks, good thing I didn't go to work like that!"
- I've done the lint opener and a similar thing pretending to be pulling a thread out of her shirt and both times she took it seriously
- Today at the end of class I grabbed her coat while she wasn't looking and put it on. She saw it and said, "Oh! I would've walked out without it! Thanks!"
It's frustrating. I'm pretty sure she's attracted, but I feel like we're stuck in this weird zone of awkwardness. I think maybe the solution is to start escalating the kino (i.e. palm reading or something), but in the classroom setting it's hard to do much. |
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Rye Lee
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:10 am Post subject: |
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| What signs of attraction are there? Everything you said makes her sound like she's completely disinterested. |
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L.A. Tripp
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:18 am Post subject: Re: How do I handle her? |
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[quote="Unmotivated"]
- In drawing class, I told her that she had charcoal on her face "right... there" and wiped some on her face with my finger... she said "oh thanks, good thing I didn't go to work like that!"
- I've done the lint opener and a similar thing pretending to be pulling a thread out of her shirt and both times she took it seriously
- Today at the end of class I grabbed her coat while she wasn't looking and put it on. She saw it and said, "Oh! I would've walked out without it! Thanks!"
[b]To me it sounds like she just didn't realize you were playing with her, but thought you were serious. In that frame of mind, if that's the case, she's sincerely thanking you for what you're doing, because she thinks that she did have charcoal on her face, that she did have lint or a thread that you got, and that you were really helping her to remember her coat. All of this stuff is stuff that my wife would do or say, and she'd be sincere about it, lol. She'd think you were being sincere. So, by what you say, that may be the type of person she is. In which case, if that's how her mind works, she COULD be interested, but I don't know her so I can't say for sure.[b/]
[quote]
And yes, it would help for you to start escalating the kino. THAT will tell you one way or another where she really stands. |
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Rye Lee
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:32 am Post subject: |
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Oh, I don't know why, but I read all those replies as being sarcastic.....
I'd maybe do some good ice breaking kino. Things like cold reading and most other kino routines tend to be attraction building kino, but sometimes you just need to get a girl to loosen up and unwind so that she's not afraid to joke around. In that case, in can help to just be forward and when you're going into class, run into her outside and chat for a minute and then then after she says something squint at her like you're noticing something wrong. Then after a second or two, she'll either ask, or get that "what's wrong" look and then shift your position, say, "You look tense, you need to relax more." seriously and then reach out, grab her shoulders and then give her a gentle working back and forth by alternating pushing with one arm and pulling with the other (hopefully you get what I'm saying) and then grin and say, "there, better?" she'll typically say yes, then you move around beside her and toss your arm around her shoulders and walk with her. Now that you've established a relaxed joking attitude, you keep it up with a short funny anecdote that gives her opportunities to respond to a couple times so that you pull her into your frame. |
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Starbuck
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:51 am Post subject: |
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Casually ask her if she wants to go get some pizza or Taco Bell for lunch. 
Coffee or ice cream is another option.
She sounds a little uncomfortable giving you a solid signal. Some girls do this simply out of caution. Especially the less experienced kind.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, especially once you get them loosened up a little. |
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JUSTINcredible!
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:19 am Post subject: Re: How do I handle her? |
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| Unmotivated wrote: | Sometimes I think of a little neg/prank thing to do on her to amp up the energy/mood, but she almost always takes it seriously. For example:
- In drawing class, I told her that she had charcoal on her face "right... there" and wiped some on her face with my finger... she said "oh thanks, good thing I didn't go to work like that!"
- I've done the lint opener and a similar thing pretending to be pulling a thread out of her shirt and both times she took it seriously
- Today at the end of class I grabbed her coat while she wasn't looking and put it on. She saw it and said, "Oh! I would've walked out without it! Thanks!"
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See these negs would be good if it were a cold approach. But shes an ex. Youve both reached that point in the past where you were both comfortable around each other, so these neg will have little or no effect.
Id run the jealous girl routine on her. Tell her you and some friends are gonna go hangout at_______ it be fun. She should go. If she does say yes, invite another girl to the place and take it from a2. Playfully neg ur ex, while entertaining/flirting w/ the other girls. Give her a bit of attention so she wont feel too left out. Once you see some iois isolate her then do your normal C1 stuff.
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JUSTINcredible!
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feneix2012
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:41 am Post subject: |
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since you guys have dated before i would actually pull away from her, let her see you gaming a few other girls. right now it sounds like youve stopped playing cat string theory with her, move the string and make her rediscover that you are the catch cause right now it sounds like she knows what power she has over you. make youself the prize and make her work to obtain you.
feneix2012 |
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L.A. Tripp
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| Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:42 am Post subject: |
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| AAhhhh, some how I missed the part about her being his ex, lol. |
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