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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:04 pm 
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Ok, tomorrow evening I was supposed to be going to a concert with my GF and then gonna hit the beer hard to celebrate passing this year in college.

Early in the week she said it would be good to celebrate me passing second year, grab some food then go to this concert and then a few clubs.

Today she text me saying that she is unsure about hitting the alcohol hard because she is supposed to be going for tea and then to a few bars with her friend on saturday.

- - - The friend is male, he used to have a crush on her but got friend zoned and then I picked her up. I sort of dont like him because he seems really sly and I get the impression he doesnt like me either.

- - - Would I be right to be alarmed by this event on saturday? I am not too bothered because she friend zoned him and ended up with me instead. I feel this is a good opportunity to build my frame of confidence in not being bothered.

- - - Its also worth noting he has a strong social value; he has been friends with my GF and her friends for a long time so I wouldnt want to rock the boat and look like a douche.

In truth Im pissed off she feels too unwell to go out tonight but tomorrow is perfectly fine by the sounds of it.

She text me before saying "Aw sorry **** I was never planning on getting too drunk tonight! Came on my period too so Ive got bad pains, its not good to drink on them! xxxx"

I didnt reply for 45 mins:

"HEY are you angry with me? xxx"


Me:

"No dont be silly! Ive just gone food shopping, the lady at the checkout said it was "the healthiest shopping" shed ever seen! I think Im gonna go out with ***** and them tomorrow anyway. Its cool ;) xxx"


She said back:

"Oh good I was worried! The pains are really bad so Im gonna stay in tonight, the girls arent going either. Might be able to get out of saturday night, is so maybe we could do something? xxx"


This is my question then.... do I tell her to go out for this food etc with her male friend or put my foot down?


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:05 pm 
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More replies:

Me: What are you doing again on saturday? xxx

Her: Supposed to be going for tea with *****, we've had it planned for a while but his mum is in hospital so might not! xxx


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:43 pm 
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Let her do what ever she wants, but know that this guy probably has a big crush on your gf, and only has one intention while going for tea, which is to convince your gf that he is a better guy then you without actually saying it. Now if he is a major beta he will probably screw it up, but if he is any good he might make you look bad.

The thing is men and women can't be just friends. Men and women can't be just friends because men don't hang out with women who they are not interested in, and so when ever you hear of your gf hanging out with another guy one on one you should be a little worried....from the sound of things your gf has no interest in this guy but he has a lot of interest in her.

In my relationship I am ok with my gf hanging out with other guys as long as it is not one on one, that means there better be other guys and girls around! My gf even admitted that she has never had a guy friend who didn't either hit on her, try to sleep with her, or tell her how much they liked her, not one! lol


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:07 pm 
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Thing is Im pretty sure this dude kiss closed her about a year ago. Theyve been friends since high school.

If they were going for some food late afternoon - fine. I don't think Im happy with them drinking in bars later than that.

I trust her I just dont want this douche having time alone in that setting.


What the hell should I do :lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:04 pm 
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yeah i think so


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:07 pm 
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- - Its also worth noting he has a strong social value; he has been friends with my GF and her friends for a long time so I wouldnt want to rock the boat and look like a douche.
so he has strong social value... he has been friends with your GF for a long time and he didn''t fuck her yet LOL...

Beta.. don't worry much about it

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:38 pm 
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sounds like she is just enjoying some beta-orbitter time

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:54 pm 
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Listen man this is some advice that most guys never understand, its not her you need to worry about its him! See a women can think she won't cheat, she can tell you she won't cheat, she can even tell her self she wont cheat, but it means nothing if the guy she is hanging out with is smooth enough, and knows how to play with a women's emotions. We are all capable of cheating, the difference between someone who cheats and someone who does not is that people who don't cheat will not put them self's in situation were they could cheat. Women who understand that they are capable of cheating won't hang out with guys alone while they are in a relationship unless your value to them is very low! they would not risk cheating and or loosing you, on the other hand women who think "I could never cheat" are often the ones who put them self in bad situations....this is not to say that your gf is a bad person, she is just naive, and ignorant! If she understood that men only hang out with girls who they either want a relationship or want to fuck, she wouldn't be hanging out with this guy.

So like I said its not her I would be worried about, its him. This guy probably has some kind of plan to win over your gf, but luckly for you he will prob mess it up by being a total afc....the thing is what if he was not an afc? what if he was a natural alpha or even worse a pick up artist! A few drinks and the right comments could lead to your gf cheating, its always a possibility!

Why does this happen? well its because women make decisions based on emotions, women use the creative emotional side of the brain, and men the logical side (this is an actual fact). So when you think "I'm not going to cheat because I have to much to loose" that is you being logical, but when a women says it her word means very little, she is only saying it because that is how she feels at the time, but perhaps after a couple drinks an alpha can spark her interest, put her on an emotional roller coaster! and the next thing she knows she is banging the dude.

Men cheat based on a logical scale (Its it worth is?, is it worth me loosing my gf for this women?)

Women cheat based on how they feel in the moment (Omg, it just happend! I cant explain it, he made me feel butterfly's, it was not my fault it was his).

See what I am getting at? I don't want you to over react but you need to understand that men and women think very differently! so what makes sens to you makes no sens to a women!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:11 am 
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Quote:
Listen man this is some advice that most guys never understand, its not her you need to worry about its him! See a women can think she won't cheat, she can tell you she won't cheat, she can even tell her self she wont cheat, but it means nothing if the guy she is hanging out with is smooth enough, and knows how to play with a women's emotions. We are all capable of cheating, the difference between someone who cheats and someone who does not is that people who don't cheat will not put them self's in situation were they could cheat. Women who understand that they are capable of cheating won't hang out with guys alone while they are in a relationship unless your value to them is very low! they would not risk cheating and or loosing you, on the other hand women who think "I could never cheat" are often the ones who put them self in bad situations....this is not to say that your gf is a bad person, she is just naive, and ignorant! If she understood that men only hang out with girls who they either want a relationship or want to fuck, she wouldn't be hanging out with this guy.

So like I said its not her I would be worried about, its him. This guy probably has some kind of plan to win over your gf, but luckly for you he will prob mess it up by being a total afc....the thing is what if he was not an afc? what if he was a natural alpha or even worse a pick up artist! A few drinks and the right comments could lead to your gf cheating, its always a possibility!

Why does this happen? well its because women make decisions based on emotions, women use the creative emotional side of the brain, and men the logical side (this is an actual fact). So when you think "I'm not going to cheat because I have to much to loose" that is you being logical, but when a women says it her word means very little, she is only saying it because that is how she feels at the time, but perhaps after a couple drinks an alpha can spark her interest, put her on an emotional roller coaster! and the next thing she knows she is banging the dude.

Men cheat based on a logical scale (Its it worth is?, is it worth me loosing my gf for this women?)

Women cheat based on how they feel in the moment (Omg, it just happend! I cant explain it, he made me feel butterfly's, it was not my fault it was his).

See what I am getting at? I don't want you to over react but you need to understand that men and women think very differently! so what makes sens to you makes no sens to a women!
+1

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:27 am 
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Quote:
Listen man this is some advice that most guys never understand, its not her you need to worry about its him! See a women can think she won't cheat, she can tell you she won't cheat, she can even tell her self she wont cheat, but it means nothing if the guy she is hanging out with is smooth enough, and knows how to play with a women's emotions. We are all capable of cheating, the difference between someone who cheats and someone who does not is that people who don't cheat will not put them self's in situation were they could cheat. Women who understand that they are capable of cheating won't hang out with guys alone while they are in a relationship unless your value to them is very low! they would not risk cheating and or loosing you, on the other hand women who think "I could never cheat" are often the ones who put them self in bad situations....this is not to say that your gf is a bad person, she is just naive, and ignorant! If she understood that men only hang out with girls who they either want a relationship or want to fuck, she wouldn't be hanging out with this guy.

So like I said its not her I would be worried about, its him. This guy probably has some kind of plan to win over your gf, but luckly for you he will prob mess it up by being a total afc....the thing is what if he was not an afc? what if he was a natural alpha or even worse a pick up artist! A few drinks and the right comments could lead to your gf cheating, its always a possibility!

Why does this happen? well its because women make decisions based on emotions, women use the creative emotional side of the brain, and men the logical side (this is an actual fact). So when you think "I'm not going to cheat because I have to much to loose" that is you being logical, but when a women says it her word means very little, she is only saying it because that is how she feels at the time, but perhaps after a couple drinks an alpha can spark her interest, put her on an emotional roller coaster! and the next thing she knows she is banging the dude.

Men cheat based on a logical scale (Its it worth is?, is it worth me loosing my gf for this women?)

Women cheat based on how they feel in the moment (Omg, it just happend! I cant explain it, he made me feel butterfly's, it was not my fault it was his).

See what I am getting at? I don't want you to over react but you need to understand that men and women think very differently! so what makes sens to you makes no sens to a women!

10+

Nice post dude! Well said.

He is right. I wouldn't worry to much about your GF. Worry about that other loser motherfucker afc. He has been friends with your girl for a while, and still hasn't fucked her? Even before you? Yeah he is a loser. BUT i wouldn't count him out. Maybe he will get a hold of a pua book or find out about our community? haha :lol:

Nah but really don't but to much thought in it, but just keep it moving, find some friends to hang out with while she is with her loser afc friend. Maybe another chick?
8)

Make sure you don't show signs of jealousy. You WILL lose value if you do. Trust me. In like 5% of cases do a girl think its cute, and about 95% of the time it makes you look desperate, unattractive, and decreases your value.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:23 am 
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Well I probably just lost value friends.


I rang her sort of drunk and said I didnt like the idea of it. I said I was annoyed that she was going out 1 on 1 with a guy who used to (maybe still does) have a crush on her.

She reacted pretty badly.

She said that it has never been like that in her eyes. I reminded her that on one of our first dates she told me that a guy in the bar (him) might be a bit off with me because he had a crush on her.

She said it was just her being drunk at the time and that if anything, she said it probably to try and make me jelous and want her more.

The conversation/row we had basically revolved around me not being able to cool it and understand they went waaay back and that I should just be calm about it.


I really wish I'd seen these replies before I rang her drunk.


Well...I think I realise my MAIN problem....allow me to explain:

- I'm not too bothered theyre doing this event.... But I am bothered that we cant do anything together because she is ill. If she is feeling betterl we should go out after her meal with this dude and they can go drink next week. This is what I plan to say to her tomorrow morning.


Is this a good idea?


She says she sees my point of view - does she shit. If I went out with one girl she would be annoyed surely.


I really need guidance on this. Its unlike us to row and I feel stupid.


Thank you for your replies people.

PS. she told me not to mention that this dude used to crush on her to our friends so she didnt sound too 'big headed'.


Women!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:26 am 
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PS. she is prolly gonna ring me in about 5 hours.


Any advice for this call is very very welcome!

thank you


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:32 am 
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Hmm, i do understand what you mean. At the same time you must let her do what she wants. Don't show her it bothers you. If that is what she chooses to do. Let her, if you want to hang out with another friend female that goes "waay back" then feel free to do it. i wouldnt put to much thought into it. You could potentially ruin the relationship, and your status with her if you continue the what appears to be "jealousy" rampage. Just chill out, let her do what she wants. The fact that your doing this will probably kill her, if she really likes and wants to be with you. She will wonder."Why isnt my boy friend not care if i hang out with another guy?" "Doesnt he like me?" This will challenge her mentally. And it will raise your value, and show you are confident in yourself, and not insecure and worry about someone "stealing" her from you.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:35 am 
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Hmm, i do understand what you mean. At the same time you must let her do what she wants. Don't show her it bothers you. If that is what she chooses to do. Let her, if you want to hang out with another friend female that goes "waay back" then feel free to do it. i wouldnt put to much thought into it. You could potentially ruin the relationship, and your status with her if you continue the what appears to be "jealousy" rampage. Just chill out, let her do what she wants. The fact that your doing this will probably kill her, if she really likes and wants to be with you. She will wonder."Why isnt my boy friend not care if i hang out with another guy?" "Doesnt he like me?" This will challenge her mentally. And it will raise your value, and show you are confident in yourself, and not insecure and worry about someone "stealing" her from you.

This is good advice (I think) but...

what would you say to her tomorrow via phone call?

We will certainly speak tomorrow via phone call... I am just not sure what ground to take.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:44 am 
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Dude its quite simple...

Quick Tip: Don't get "one-itis" man.

I would basically let her know that i trust, and im cool with her hanging out and chilling with her male friends, and that i will need her to trust me to hang out with my female friends. This way you raise your value by showing her you are wanted and have options, and other people(females) to hang with instead of sitting around waiting for her to finish her hang outs.

Don't tell her what you think she wants to hear. Tell her how it is going to be, and what you want. You are the alpha male in the relationship, not her. Don't be afraid to walk away from the relationship any day. i personally don't think this situation is that big of a deal to cause a break up.

I think you will do fine man.

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