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Romeo7
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Joined: 23 Feb 2007
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Location: California
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 Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:42 am Post subject: Going out with NO EXPECTATIONS |
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I was (as usual) giving some advice and wise words to one of my friends earlier today as he had the gentle act of picking me up from my girl's house... See? I like to be nice when people do things for me,,, for some people in this forum, who I have become friends with (mostly through phone) they know what it's like to receive free advice, so for now, those of you who I don't keep so close with enjoy my FREE advice
I wanna talk about the importance of going out with NO EXPECTATIONS
Now, do NOT confuse this with goals
If you already said in your head "But Romeooo, what you mean no expectations? You mean no number? kiss? full?" do yourself a favor a hit yourself on the head
Most of you people are smart here and will know what I mean,
In my opinion, most guys make the mistake (which I myself did) of getting into the game without setting up a LONG-TERM GOAL, this type of goal should consist of many SHORT-TERM GOALS, and these should be approached ONE BY ONE
I won't get into the whole idea of "How to approach small goals". All I'm going to say is take it one step at the time, don't be thinking of giving girl orgasms if you're a virgin, or second dates if you can't even approach yet.
You see, before you get serious about "The Game" you have to have clear what outcome youre looking for, if you don't, it won't matter what kind of success you have, because you'll never know what you were looking for in the first place.
Ok, Getting back to the topic now
When you go out with the "expectations" then your brain forms ideas according to your mindset, therefore telling your body to act according to those ideas.
Examples:
Consider the difference between
* Going out "expecting" to get at least a number
(This unfortunately creates a pick-up person that people can see through)
* Going out with the goal of perfecting the art of getting a number
See? Expectations make you act for the MOMENT and they die as soon as the moment as over, goals make you think and act for a long period of time and don't die 'till you have achieved them
Let's look at the advantages of going out with NO EXPECTATIONS
- First of all, your brain is not thinking of what you "have" to get, therefore you dont act like it, (translation, you don't act needy)
- If you go out and get no numbers but still open some few sets and were social, then you don't feel as you have failed, you feel as if you've learned
Xfman's "There are not mistakes, only lessons"
This will eventually also add up to your inner game
- If you go out and do get numbers and a couple of kisses, yet with no expectations, this will seem a step closer to your LONG-TERM goal, and therefore you won't stop just there
So, if you haven't set up a long-term goal yet, do so,
and then break it down in short-term goals
and Remember "No expectations" for tonight,
you're just "learning" |
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Chikito
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
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votes: 11
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| Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:22 am Post subject: |
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I whole heartedly agree that goal setting is a MUST.
There are a few simple steps to improve your goal making it easier to acheive. This isnt just for PUA goals, this is anything u want to set a goal on
1. Write down the goal, make it as specific as you can so you know Exactly what your going to do.
(Quantify it, dont just say im going to improve my #closes, say Im going to improve my number closes by increasing how many # i get a night by 3 each time)
2. List down all the Reasons & Benefits for achieving your goal.
(Most people dont work towards their goal consistently because they are not clear WHY they want it. Go for atleast 5 reasons why, if you cant think of any setting goals will not motivate you.)
3. Write down a strategy or plan of action
(a little obvious in the PUA game, but surprisingly not used by alot of people when wanting to acheive something else.)
4. Set a Deadline
(without one people tend to procrastinate, make it as specific as you can)
5. Visualise your goal
(the more you visualise you acheiveing that goal the more likely your motivated to keep moving towards it. Emotionally charge that goal till its important to you)
6. START NOW! Create momentum!
(If you start now your likely to keep going and keep moving. The 1st step is always the hardest so get it over with. Waiting for a 'good time' to start your goal acheiveing only promotes procrastination, just take action NOW)
7. Put yourself on the line
(My favourite way to motivate myself/someone else because im a crule bastard, Annouce to everyone what your goals are (dont tell ure target duh! just us) and make it somthing that will pain you if you dont complete it. One way i thought of was to announce it in a thread and tell people to give you negative reputation if you dont reply back in [insert goal deadline] to start to lower your rep! Or Give alot of money to a friend/wing and tell them they can keep it if u dont complete it!)
Follow these 7 rules and i guartee you will be more motivated. Just going out in the field and saying, oh im going to improve my # closing. Is too vague and for most people wont get them moving.
Last edited by Chikito on Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:35 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Romeo7
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Joined: 23 Feb 2007
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Location: California
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| Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:24 am Post subject: |
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I like your steps
But, will you quit saying "NLP!"
DAMN! it gets annoying bro |
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Chikito
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Joined: 18 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:32 am Post subject: |
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Lol ok, sorry. Done and edited out the shitty bits  |
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Poise_and_Class
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Joined: 29 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Do take note of the sacrifices you have to make in order to attain your goals. There is no such thing as achieving a goal without any form of sacrifice. General things like time, money, family, friends, carreer and relationships will definitely be compromise, depending on what you choose. So are the sacrifices you are going to make be worth the goals you are striving to achieve? Do think about it. Do not neglect things that are important to you. Do your best to balance out the different areas of your life. |
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DaOracle
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| Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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There is also another important aspect to this. Don't expect success immediately. You'll have to try a couple of times before you get things right.
In fact you might get discourage after trying several times with absolute failure. That is the period you need to keep on trying and improvising techniques.
This is not only applicable to gaming only, it apply to life situations too
keep the game tight
DaOracle |
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Chikito
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Joined: 18 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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Simple phrase to that is:
There is no failure, only a learning experience.
in the pua world a better way to explain the attitude would be:
When u blow out a set and mess up, you didnt fail, you learnt how not to open/dhv etc.
Also if you go in saying to yourself 'im going to try to open this set' then brace yourself for a tough lesson right there.
When u say im going to 'try to..' ure telling yourself that there is possibility of "Failure".
Put it this way, when your walking a log over a canyon, your not going to give yourself the option of falling off, you cant, you will die. Death is not an option lol. So why not use this ability. U will concentrate and perform better the more risky you make it. |
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VEE
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 20 Jul 2007
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Location: Released from the Matrix and into the real world
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:50 am Post subject: |
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| how about making the goal to get rejected..theres some fun in that plus you may approach and not get rejected.. |
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Apollo
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Joined: 26 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Exactly what they were saying. EXPECT to get rejected when you are starting out. Most everyone, even naturals, go in their first few times and can't number close with them. Rejection is just the opportunitiy for analysis of what went wrong and growth. |
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